Do you back away from the limelight?

5 ways this is hurting you, and what you can do about it.

You don’t need to be a celebrity to have a fear of being visible. I work with many entrepreneurs. Oddly enough, so many of them fear “getting out there.” Life challenges us and asks us to step up on a daily basis. As an entrepreneur, when we hide, our profits die. So, what’s the hiding about? And how can we jump over this hurdle, into the land of profits and true happiness?

We constantly feel this pressure of being something else, somebody else, be always perfect. We are afraid of our true self, we fear that if we try to show ourselves someone will degrade us and we’ll be ashamed, exposed. Wow.

Do any of these 5 self-sabotaging moves look familiar?

1. Jealousy

• Issue: Maybe a colleague received yet another promotion, or our younger boss just bought a gorgeous sporty car. Jealousy comes from our deep-rooted fears and insecurities which appear when we feel like we are not enough or we don’t have enough to be happy.
• Solution: Comparing ourselves to others is rarely a win. What special gifts do YOU bring to the table? Honor those.

2. Faking It

• Issue: “Fake it until you make it” sounds better than it actually is. Faking doesn’t do anyone any favors. We all tell little lies to ourselves and others in order to cope with our fears of being degraded or even ridiculed for who we really are. Beware – hiding our true self starves our potential!
• Solution:  Live As If. When you swap your mindset for a new one, then act as if, you’re moving forward authentically. For example, say you want to be a speaker. You don’t have speaking experience. You are scared to be in front of people. What would a great speaker in training then do? Maybe he would join Toastmasters. Voila! Do this and you are Living As If. One small step.

3. Our Inner Bullies

• Issue: We all know well that little creature living inside our heads. He (or she) is bossing us around—telling us what to do, how to think and act—even what to feel. Our inner bullies can be bigger and more powerful than our true inner selves, so we need to learn to tune out and stop listening.
• Solution: Take it one step further. Don’t only “tune out” the bully; counteract him. Who might be the superhero to that Negative Nancy voice? How about Positive Peter? What might Positive Peter have to say? When we consider that these Inner Bullies are NOT us, and that we can separate ourselves from them, we gain back control over our own lives.

4. Caring About What Other People Think

• Issue:  It can be difficult not to care about what others think of us. However, sometimes we let their opinions dictate how we are supposed to be. No more please! It is useful to seek advice and ask for opinions, but deep down, we need to follow our own inner compass.
• Solution:  Repeat after me: What other people think of me is NONE OF MY BUSINESS. Right? Caring about what other people think of you is self-centered. And being self-centered is not a good feature. Be of service to others and soon this Fear of What Others Think will melt away.

5. Self-Destructive Habits

• Issue:  We are sabotaging our true self with self-destructive habits every day. Think about the many times you doubt about yourself, of what you are capable of or worth. Or the times you pleased others and put everyone’s needs before your own. This is another no – no! Recognizing your own self-destructive behaviors is the first step to stopping them and the key to elevating your success in both business and your personal life.
• Solution:  Doubting, considering yourself unworthy, and putting yourself last are all symptoms of lack. It’s the lack of self love. Self love is critical. It’s interesting how people who don’t love themselves are often self-centered (they are trying to seek others’ approval). When you truly love yourself, it does not matter what others think. You give of the overflow and act in service. What can you do to love yourself? Do what lights you up. This could be going for a walk every day, reading a book, meditating, seeing a movie with a friend. Treat yourself exquisitely so you can be your best self for everyone else.

Summary:

There are many things we do every day which prevent us from living authentically and becoming our truest selves. When we are aware of the harmful things we do to sabotage our own personal growth, we can begin to address them, one by one, and replace these soul sucking thoughts and habits with new, empowering ones.

When we move closer to our true selves, we find that sense of fulfilment we seek. Becoming our true selves creates mutual respect, admiration and honesty within our lives. And this leads us to reach our goals. If you want to move up the corporate ladder, gain more respect at home or at work, or become the leader in your field, you’ll want to stay tuned for the next blog.