Hint: it’s much more than time
Before we dive into today’s topic, I have a big announcement:
Monday (tomorrow) from 11am to 5pm EST, there is a Neurodivergent Superpowers Summit that I’ve been invited to speak at. It’s free to join, here’s the link – be sure to sign up to get the recordings even if you can’t make it!
Now, let’s discuss time management in a different way than perhaps you may have been thinking:
time management for things that are new.
If we have our own business, that means we are going to be doing something that is new. We’ll always be doing things that are new; many things that when we do them it brings up a lot of fears. Most times, these are fears that we didn’t even know we had. In fact, we could even really have been looking forward to doing the thing that we’re about to do for a long time and want to do that new thing very deeply. Yet, there is also a force in us that wants to keep us safe, and we find ourselves procrastinating when we go to do the new thing because it’s new. Let’s go deeper. We don’t think about it consciously because our subconscious is actually running the show.
Here are some tips to DO the new thing, versus getting stuck:
- Allow far more time for it than you ever thought you needed. One thing that happens when we’re neurodiverse is we have this “plenty of time thinking.” It sounds like, ‘Oh, I’ve got plenty of time to do that’ or ‘I operate best at the last minute, otherwise I’ll just be bored and change everything a hundred times’. These are the things we tell ourselves that are at most -half truths.
What is the real truth? To do something new, there is a ramp up period, and during that “ramp up period,” we settle our nervous systems. To settle, we might say ‘I’ve just gotta get that cup of tea’, or ‘I’ve just got to clear out my email’, or ‘I’ve just got to clear out the clutter of this room’.
So you’re saying to yourself, ‘Well, what can I do? Because if something else is running the show, (my subconscious) how can I run my own show?’
The answer lies in the “allow more time” strategy. For example, if it’s a one hour project, try allowing yourself half a day. What’s the worst that can happen – you’ll finish early?
- Find a grounding ritual. For example, last night my son needed to do some studying, and he was all over the place in the kitchen and doing different things. And I said ‘What can we do here? How about I make you a cup of tea? Would you like hot cocoa? Would you like …..’ and I was trying to help him ground himself so that he could get ready to do what he needed to do.
This is not not only with my children, it’s with myself as well. For example, to do the video for you, I write my notes, I sit in my chair, I take a deep breath, I think about you all, I think about how I can’t wait to serve you. It may be to put on my favorite music, it may be put on a timer so I don’t get distracted. It may be to shut off my phone. It’s getting grounded and getting ready.
- Celebrate the little things. We do not give ourselves enough credit with the little things. I was speaking to a client yesterday and she was telling me some of her wins and then she immediately went into what didn’t go as well. I said ‘hang on, hang on! At the beginning of the session all we’re allowed to do is say our wins. We can go into all the problems later’. And celebration is so important because what happens is our brain is being rewired in that moment to expect success because we get what we expect.
- Treat yourself. A way to dive into the unknown and make the most of your time is the opposite of what you might think – this is to treat yourself (especially what I call ‘extreme self-care’. The bigger you are trying, the bigger step you’re trying to get up, the more extreme you have to care for yourself. I remember several years ago when I found myself in all kinds of crises with my kids and my former husband in arrests and all kinds of craziness. I said, ‘Okay, hang on. Where is the extreme self-care? What do I need to do to myself, for myself, for no other reason than to love myself beyond belief so that I can get through what I need to get through?’ Yes,that was a crisis level, and we’re not talking about a crisis, this is true. We are talking about doing something new – and that reptilian brain doesn’t know the difference. It believes we are in crisis.
Hit reply, and tell me what are you taking away from this?
Which of those 4 ideas seem best for you?
Write to me, and I will help you get through them.
In the meantime, be sure to sign up for the Neurodiversity Summit on Monday. It’s from 11am to 5pm EST Eastern time. I’ll be speaking at 1pm EST. It is completely free to sign up and you do not need to attend the whole thing. And even if you sign up and you can’t make it you’ll get the recordings. I really think it’s going to be worth it – I have a lot to learn too, so I can’t wait.
I hope to see you there.