Does it ever feel like everyone else is achieving success, while you …?
Well, you’ve heard the expression, “Always the bridesmaid, never the bride…”, right? You try and try but you just never quite seem to reach your goal.
Why is that? What could be holding you back?
Sometimes the fear of success is a ninja assassin of your hopes and dreams – it creeps up on you, without you even realizing it’s there. It ruthlessly introduces its three secret weapons; anxiety, limiting beliefs and the unconscious mind…and just waits for them to wreak their havoc.
So, how can you banish your blockages? Here are my 3 tips: Uncover what is truly holding you back.
1. Firstly, take one goal at a time. Then list the reasons that are holding you back from achieving this. Be honest. Is it that you’re waiting for the “perfect” moment? Are you frightened of others’ reactions and what your family/colleagues/friends will say? Maybe you dislike change? Instead of seeing change as growth, perhaps you fear the uncertainty. Perhaps you’ve failed before and you don’t want to fail again? There are so many reasons why you could be holding yourself back. But, essentially, they all boil down to one word: FEAR. Fear is what paralyzes you and stops you doing anything. Fear is what tells you you’re not good enough, or the timing’s not great, or someone will laugh.
Learn how to take the first big, bold step to change your course.
Fear is like a big giant creature that lurks in us all; The more we feed it, the bigger it gets. But you CAN shrink that monster down to size. Here’s how: Firstly, look your fears straight in the eye. Ask yourself, “What is the worst that can happen?” – so you fail. What’s so bad about that? We all do, sometimes and it’s the failures that are a much more valuable lesson than the successes.
2. Discover new techniques that will work for you personally.Try to “rinse and repeat”. Many tasks look scary from the outside, but once you take a deep breath and dive in, they’re often not so bad. Doing the scary activity time and time again will make the task so mundane, so routine, that it loses any scary connotations.
We all tell ourselves that we can’t do X because “we’re just not good enough” or even that “We don’t deserve” it. “People like me never get X”. Sound familiar? Instead of giving these negative thoughts brain-space, exchange them for positive affirmations. Tell yourself instead “I’ve worked hard, I do deserve this promotion” or “I’m going to show X exactly what I can do” Experiment until you find a phrase that resonates with you and helps you stand tall. Stop telling yourself that you’re just not good enough! Self-limiting belief can be crippling. You are enough, and you deserve success. Tell yourself this every time you feel the fear.
3. Use “what if”. Whenever a self-limiting doubt enters your head, ask yourself:
- What if I don’t get the promotion?
- What if my family don’t understand?
- What if I can’t get a bigger house?
Next, respond with a positive answer. If you don’t get the promotion, you’ll try next year. If your family don’t understand you’ll explain in a different way. If you can’t get a bigger house, you’ll wait until you can.
…Suddenly, that fear-creature lurking inside is on one heck of a diet!
In my next blog, I’ll be looking at how a new mindset can get you new results. Check it out.
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