Being neurodivergent often means that organization and order can be more difficult than for others. However, this doesn’t mean that it’s not possible to have all your ducks in a row and be organized. Ever heard someone say, it might not look organized to you, but I know where everything is?. We are constantly watching how other people organize their lives, whether this be on social media with the lady who folds clothes into drawers Marie Kondo style-e or people packing their shopping at supermarket checkouts and this can lead us to feel unorganized, but I’ll let you in on a secret. No one is as organized as they appear.
Question: What can I do to find inspiration to get organized, find order and stop feeling shame?
Answer: disconnect. Set your own standards. Find what works for you.
Disconnect – it’s as simple as this. If what you see around you makes you feel guilty or overwhelmed, switch it off. Don’t watch it. Hasta luego, see you later. Remember that these people’s lives you are watching, most likely revolve around creating beautiful, calming content and organisation is their thing but it doesn’t mean you have the time, energy, or desire to be that organized. Most people aren’t, they just like to think they are.
Set your own standards and find what works for you – What level of organization do you require to feel in control of what’s going on around you? Find out what works for you and stick to it, forget what those around you do. One dear friend is the most organized person I’ve ever met. I’ve never seen her kitchen without a sparkle, or a paper out of place. In fact she has almost “no” paper. While I would love my house to look like this, it’s unrealistic. I don’t have the time or the energy (In line with most other people) and I’m okay with that. I’d need a full time maid, period…I love my creative genius flow and that is NOT linear!
Question: How can you gain trust in your ability to stay on top of everything?
Answer: be kind to yourself. Change your standards and then change them again. Give yourself grace and love! Trust in the process.
Being kind to yourself will always be top of the list and this applies to everyone, neurodivergent or not. With life coming at us thick and fast every day, it’s easy to lose track of where we are and feel like we are spinning all plates at one time. That’s okay. What is not okay is to feel guilty about it, feel ashamed or hide away from who you are.
Adjust your standards and then do it again. You won’t be able to keep on top of everything, it’s virtually impossible. Even high-powered executives with full time personal assistants let the ball drop sometimes, it’s just the way it is. Levelling the gap between expectation and reality will reduce feelings of guilt and shame. Set standards too “high” (perfectionism, anyone?) will only enhance these feelings.
Trust in the process. Make a process a habit, do it repeatedly, not matter how long it takes you and eventually in will become second nature. Make a habit of putting clothes away as they come out of the dryer, putting your coffee mug in the dishwasher, or simply filing that email as it comes in.
Question: I need to find the silver lining to my superpowers, but how?
Answer: Evaluate what you can do that others can’t. Do something at least once a day that reminds you how good you are, something that sparks you joy.
Evaluate what you can do that others can’t. Everybody is different and this is such a fantastic thing. Can you imagine how boring the world would be if we were all the same? There is also so much to be gained by being different and you may often find that people request your help with things that come naturally to you but not to them and vice versa. So ask your friends what you are great at! An effective way of reminding yourself of how good you are is by writing down three positive things that have happened at the end of each day.
Do something at least once a day that reminds you how good you are, something that sparks you joy. Allow yourself to be great. Sometimes we get stuck, like a hamster, in the wheel of “doing” and forget that it’s okay to simply be ourselves. Take time each day to do something that fills your soul, that you enjoy and allow yourself to reflect on your qualities.
I’ll leave this one as food for thought “the hardest step she ever took was to blindly trust in who she was” – Atticus –