How to be heard and respected without sparking arguments
We all want to feel understood, respected, and seen. That yearning can show up when we give generously but feel underappreciated—or when we speak up and receive pushback or silence. If you’ve ever thought, Why can’t people just show up the way I do?, you’re not alone.
This month’s Overachievers Club on June 9 (12–1 PM Eastern) will dig into these very feelings with special guest Jessica Summers, a specialist in rejection dysphoria. If you’ve ever taken a “no” too personally or felt deep hurt from being ignored, this conversation is for you.
But you don’t have to wait for the event to start making changes. Here’s a simple and powerful 4-step framework you can use right now to ask for support without sparking conflict:
The 4-Step Request System
Observation. Emotion. Need. Request.
When we express ourselves in frustration, it often sounds like blame. The result? Our listener feels attacked, shuts down, or fights back—and we don’t get what we actually need. This framework helps you avoid that trap and communicate clearly.
Here’s how it works:
1. Observation:
Start by naming what you notice, without blame.
“I noticed I had to step over clothes in the mudroom.”
2. Emotion:
Share how it made you feel.
“I feel exhausted when I walk into a mess after a long day.”
3. Need:
Identify what you truly need.
“I need to walk into a space that feels calm and welcoming.”
4. Request:
Make a specific, doable request.
“Can you hang up two things next time you come in?”
This style of communication centers your experience without blaming others. It opens the door for cooperation instead of resistance.
Want to Go Deeper?
These conversations can feel vulnerable, especially if you’re used to doing everything yourself. That’s why I hope you’ll join us on June 9 at 12 PM Eastern for The Overachievers Club. Jessica Summers will offer insight, compassion, and tools for navigating the pain of feeling dismissed, rejected, or just plain misunderstood.
If you’ve ever felt like “I do everything and no one notices,” this session is for you.
P.S. Want to overcome fear? Here’s how to focus and finish what you start