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February…the month of Love. Yes, it’s the Hallmark holiday month: Valentine’s Day. Regardless of what you think of Hallmark (I don’t think much of Hallmark) I DO love “love”. How does love relate to you, your productivity, and stepping into your best self, and loving your whole self, including loving up your business self?
To quote Louise Hay, “Remember, you have been criticizing yourself for years and it hasn’t worked. Try approving of yourself and see what happens.” When we approve of ourselves, we now love ourselves. How might this relate to procrastination and getting things done?
I was working with a client who had been trying to get her business off the ground for a long while, and she knew she could do it, but those negative voices, those critical ones, just wouldn’t quit. When she tried out some time management strategies, they seemed to not really work. For example, time blocking is one of the methods that I suggest people try when they manage their time. Time blocking means that you say, “I’m going to spend a couple of hours working on this particular task during that time”. Sounds simple and easy, right?
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It is…except…for those voices. And lots of other issues. For example, if we’re not sure “what” we’re doing, or perhaps how to approach it, procrastination takes hold. Maybe the task/project is something new, so getting traction is hard, and getting distracted is really easy. And what of those negative voices saying “you don’t know what you’re doing. Why don’t you go do something productive?” Or maybe your kids really need you or…..well, you get the picture. This happens, and the towel gets thrown in. You may then ascertain that those “you will never manage your time” voices are right, after all.
Self-love is the answer. When it gets extreme, I pull out “extreme self care.”
I implemented Extreme Self Care in February 2017 (when I first started Wisdom Warriors), a lot of CHAOS was going on in my life with regard to my boys (I did talk about that in Wisdom Warriors, let me know if you want the recording as it’s a pretty good story). I was in a kind of inertia, and those voices… “I’ll never make it”, “I’ll never be able to succeed in my business”, “I’ll never be able to succeed in life given everything going on”, no matter how I time block were screaming relentlessly. I could not see a way out, so I started ‘extreme self-love’, and that might also be called ‘radical self-acceptance’.
We must do what Louise Hay says: stop criticizing ourselves and start accepting ourselves. However, I recommend you don’t just go to ‘acceptance’. Go to is extreme self-love, and extreme self-care. How I got myself out of my funk back in 2017 is this. I asked myself,, “what is the most kind and beautiful thing I could do for myself right now?” I had almost no money, so it’s not like I was going to go to a big spa day at the Ritz! Now, if you wanna go to a big spa day at the Ritz and you have the resources to do it, I think you should, if that’s what you want to do. However, if you don’t, you get to decide what would work for you – it could be a warm bath, or it could be no longer buying potato chips and wine to drown out your sorrows. It can be taking yourself out for a latte. It can be saying “I’m just going to do one hour on this business strategy – I don’t know if it’s going to work or not, but I’m going to try it and it’s okay if it doesn’t work” – that too can be extreme self-love. It could be dancing! Whatever it is for you, simply do it. Don’t overthink it!
No negative voices? Great! Let’s go to your New Year Goals. We are six or so weeks into 2023. Where are you with your goals?
- If you are on track, go love yourself and reward yourself.
- If you are stuck, ask your ‘child within’ what he or she needs. Honor that.
- If you were your best friend, what might you say to yourself?
I’d love for you to let me know what you will do for extreme self-love, extreme self-care and radical self-acceptance here in the month of February. Hit reply and let me know!