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In our previous blog, we delved into the change of mindset that is needed to enable us to switch from a reactive mindset to a proactive one. In this blog, we’ll be discovering how those with an AD/HD brain can deal with heightened reaction.

Many people with AD/HD are really sensitive and emotional. And, as amazing of a gift as this is, it can get in the way. The AD/HD brain has a different working memory structure. This can allow an emotion to become too strong, flooding the brain with intense emotion. This part of the brain distinguishes between dangerous threats and more minor problems, so an AD/HD brain can find it difficult to deal “rationally and realistically” with events.  This can feel like a real burden at times; you may experience strong emotions to something that others seem to take in their stride.  It might feel like you’re out of control and you should “just be able to control it like everyone else.”

The great news is…learning about and accepting what’s going on can really help.

• It’s your brain, not you: Many people with AD/HD have DESR also. DESR is Deficient Emotional Self-Regulation. This is thought to be caused by a fold of tissue in the middle of the brain called the Cingulate Gyrus. It appears to play a big role in how reactive a person is, and, stimulant medications can help this tissue act more in accordance with a non-AD/HD brain.  By understanding this, rather than thinking you are simply being over-emotional, you start to take back control of the situation.  This can help you avoid unnecessary self-criticism.

• Society loves immediate: We live in an “immediate” society; everything happens at such speed that we kind of accept immediacy as the norm. We all love to appear efficient and “on the ball”, (who doesn’t love the feelings that come from a “thanks for responding so quickly” reply to your email?) and we all love the appreciation that stems from that immediacy.  So much so, that we likely respond quickly again …to not only THIS person but to more…who does not love “getting answers and praise?” Yet, this is a double-edged sword. The dopamine fix we get with this also depletes us by the end of the day and does not allow for our longer term (not immediate) yet important tasks/projects to be completed – resulting in a longer-term sense of failure. Instead of going for the “instant fix” resulting from an immediate reply, it’s far better to adopt a measured approach; allowing time for you to formulate the correct response and also giving yourself a break.  The recipient won’t think any less of you, but the extra time will allow you to pace yourself and banish that sense of disappointment and failure.

• Avoid the embarrassment: It’s embarrassing sometimes, to allow our mouth to precede our brains. However, with:
  • The right medications
  • Practicing the pause (breathe)
  • Accepting “progress not perfection” as a mantra

we can reduce reactions, get more (of the important things) done in less time, and feel much better about ourselves.

Although experiencing these traits can seem like a burden at times, by recognizing them and learning techniques to help you control them and maybe even turn them to your advantage!

How skilled are you in “Mastering the Moment”?  You know, those life situations where you feel overwhelmed, albeit temporarily, by anger, despair, nervousness or confusion? 

In these situations, how we choose to deal with these negative emotions can make the difference between proactive versus reactive behavior, success and failure.

The problem with “reaction” is that it happens after the event.  It’s how we act when faced with an already-occurring situation and is governed by the event itself.  We let the event control our behavior while we scramble just to stay afloat.  Proactivity, on the other hand, allows us to face situations with some degree of confidence, with an “I’ve got this” kind of attitude.  You’ve anticipated any struggles along the way and instead of running away from them, you’re able to accept them as part of the ride.

Being proactive isn’t a gift given to some and not others; there are ways that you can develop this quality and roll with the ebb and flow of the tide, instead of constantly crashing against the shore. 

Here are three ways to help you

1. Foundations are key

In the same way that a tree with strong roots will weather a storm, if you have your “roots” set in a healthy foundation, you’ll find it easier to be positive when faced with a trying situation.  Following a healthy routine including exercise, healthy eating and lastly, meditation will result in a calmer, more positive you.  Instead of seeing your limitations, you’ll give yourself some all-important space; space that will allow you to focus on solutions, rather than being hit full-face with each problem as it arises

One of the biggest aids you can gift yourself is taking time to be self-aware. When you feel the “rush” of reaction, pause.  Instead of jumping straight in and letting that reaction control you, just pause and breathe. 

One inhale and one exhale.

It’s all about giving yourself that space, again, to formulate your response.  

Next time, you’ll find it much easier to understand not only the potential issues that might occur with any negative situation, but also understand and appreciate how this situation triggers you.

3. Practice

Understand how easy it is to take back control of any situation by practising the “power of the pause”. 

Instead of letting the chain of events control you and set the agenda, by pausing, perhaps with a “leave that with me, I’ll come back to you tomorrow” response.  Again, that pause is the most powerful weapon in your arsenal! By visualizing a variety of circumstances and practicing your response, you’ll never be caught on the back foot again. 

If you’ve spent a lifetime in a reactionary frame of mind, changing that to a proactive mindset is not going to be an overnight thing.  It’s going to take some time and effort to alter the habits of a lifetime.  But rest assured that switching from reactive to proactive can be done.  It’s about recognizing the power within yourself and harnessing it. 

In my next blog, we will take a peek at how YOU as a person blessed with an AD/HD brain can identify specific strategies for Reactions.

In our last blog, we focussed on how to stop our time-saving routine from working against us.  In this blog, we’re going to discover how we can maximize our natural energy cycle and how to work with it, rather than against it.

How are productivity, time management, and energy cycles related?

If you’ve ever started work super-busy and energized only to find that by mid-afternoon you’ve crashed, then you’ll know that not all hours of the day are created equal as far as work is concerned. Our bodies all have what is known as a “productivity curve” – times when our energy, focus and motivation are at a high and other times when they drop.  Take for example, energy.  Our Circadian rhythm runs in the back of our brains, like a 24-hour clock and governs when we are alert or sleepy. Our stress levels are also key here in dictating alertness, focus and productivity. 

The marathon as a series of sprints

Research shows that we work best in bursts of 90 minutes duration, (Ultradian Rhythms) before our brains need a break.  Our bodies will signal this request by becoming hungry, sleepy, fidgeting or losing focus.  When you ignore these signals, your body uses its’ reserves of energy to keep going and releases stress hormones to give you the extra “shot” of energy that you need. Instead of ignoring these signals, try setting a time for 90-minute intervals and see how this affects your focus and productivity in general. I find this strategy works especially well with my AD/HD clients. Sprints are way more fun. They help us focus our attention and maintain our motivation. And they feel unique; all critical components of productivity when you have AD/HD.

Work with your energy – not against it

So, what does all this mean? Well, fundamentally this acts as a great reminder that you can’t do it all and need to be strategic in how you plan your day.

If you approach your working day, knowing that you won’t have a break until much later, then your body will try and conserve energy and distribute it evenly throughout the day.  This prevents you from not only reaching your full productivity, but also taking a restorative break.

Instead, what we all should try and achieve is to ensure as much of our work time corresponds with as much of our individual productivity as possible.

In order to do this, you need to be more self-aware. Try keeping a journal of when you feel motivated, as opposed to the times in your day when that motivation drops.  When are you at your most productive?  Is this first thing in the morning, or maybe you’re a night-owl and find your brain works best in the twilight hours? Once you have this information, plan your day so that the tasks requiring the most focus are scheduled within your most productive times.  Build in regular breaks and, when you experience energy slumps, instead of powering through, try switching to something that requires less concentration.  Switching up high-energy moments, with lower energy ones will allow you to maintain prolonged productivity throughout your day.

Remember, productivity isn’t always about doing more; it’s about using your time in the optimal way.

If you could have the proverbial three wishes, I’m guessing one of those would be to gain more time in some form or another; more family- time, for the kids to not grow up so quickly, for more “me-time”. But, have you considered just how much time is wasted in the everyday things we do?

For most of us, routine is what gets us through the day.  We wake up at the same time, we follow the same routine of grabbing a coffee, maybe heading along the same route to the same gym class. We head to work and do the same tasks, grab lunch from the same place and our evening activity is par for the course.

But, have you considered that there could be time-sucking habits which have crept into your routine that you don’t even notice or question?

Whatever your routine, when you first established it, the driving force would no doubt have been that the string of steps was an effort to time-save.  That, if you got up at 6am, you’d have time for an hour in the gym, before heading out the door to drop the kids at school, arriving at your desk ready for the day to unfold. 

Sound familiar? 

These steps may have been effective when you started out, but when was the last time you reviewed them?  Questioned whether that schedule is still as effective as it once was?  Are you sure that little “time-sucks” haven’t crept in somewhere?  Perhaps, instead of getting the kid’s stuff ready the night before, for them to “grab and go” in the morning, you’re now spending time searching for that elusive sports kit, or packing their lunch when you really should be heading out of the door?  Maybe you agreed somewhere along the line to car share and now have to pick up a colleague on the way to work?  Have you considered the minutes spent waiting at their house?  If this is you, then it’s time to review your routine and reclaim some time! 

Here are three top timewasters and how you can minimize the stress and maximize the time:

Meetings

So, you head into work for the regular Monday morning team get-together.  Except no one’s on top form at 9am on a Monday morning.  Everyone’s aware they have an in-box to tame, tasks to complete and this weekly meeting is just a pain.  My first tip is to always have an agenda. Get everyone on the same page (excuse the pun) in advance by noting what’s up for discussion.  Ensure there’s a moderator on board – someone who will ensure that everyone stays on topic.  If you suffer from someone always wanting to take the discussion off-track, then be firm and bring them back to the matter in hand. Does that person really need to be in the meeting, anyway?  By including only essential people, you’ll side-step all the unnecessary and ensure discussions are dealt with efficiently.  Put a time-limit on the meeting. Maybe adjust the time to when everyone is back into work mode and more willing to engage.

Social media/internet surfing

The biggest procrastination of all!  We’re probably all guilty of thinking we’ll have a quick look at our profile and then realizing that an hour has passed!  To combat this, identify where you spend most of your time and block access during your busy times.  Turn off notifications, so you’re not distracted and hold yourself accountable for the time you spend – make it a conscious decision to spend an hour on a platform, rather than time running away with you.  Maybe set an alarm when your allotted time is up. 

Multitasking

We’ve all been conditioned to believe that busy is good and that multi-tasking is the only way.  However, when you’re trying to accomplish several tasks at once you’re opening yourself up to the possibility of more mistakes happening as you switch your attention between each.  Research has found that switching between tasks can cause us to lose as much as 40% of productive time.  Instead, try switching off your cell phone and going “off-grid”.  When planning your day, leave blank space, or processing time to enable your brains to process information and use your time more productively.

In our next blog, we’ll look at how we can use creative time management to capitalize on our natural energy cycles and how to work with our energy, rather than against it!

It’s the same every year. After the holiday rush, many of us are now reflecting on last year’s gains and losses and making plans for the year ahead. But this sort of reflection can lead to uncomfortable questions on why things maybe didn’t go as planned? Why, when you were adamant a few weeks back that you would go to the gym every day, has that resolution fallen by the wayside? And how will you ensure that the things you resolve to do this year will stick?

The problem with ‘Just Do It’

If we believe everything we’re told, all we need to lose those pounds, get that promotion or achieve epic greatness is willpower. Period.  Except, real life isn’t that simple. The “Just Do It” attitude of ploughing through, with relentless determination doesn’t account for the hurdles that daily life puts in our way. We get so consumed by everything we should “just be doing” that we forget to do the things now that will lead to a clear path and relaxed mind later.  The result is the antithesis of motivation. Somewhere this advice just stops being useful. It stops meaning anything and certainly doesn’t motivate us. It causes us to look at how much we have left to achieve in order to reach our goal and that’s just discouraging. Instead, maybe our mantra should be, “Do what only you can do”?

When willpower does not work

Think of willpower like a muscle in your body.  You can use it, but sooner or later it’s going to run out of steam and become exhausted.  What then?  What do you do when will power is in short supply or Just. Doesn’t. Work? How else can we reach our goals?

The most powerful resource we have in our arsenal is our imagination.  Our mind. Instead of relying on willpower, try, instead envisioning your future.  What will it look, feel, taste like?  Having a clear picture in mind will help you plan and pre-empt the choices you may have to make in order to attain your goal. In the case of losing weight, what might stop you from meeting your objective?  Might it be the junk food stop after a busy day at work? So, what do you need to do?  Perhaps ensure you have a healthy meal prepared for when you get home.  Get rid of every obstacle that stands in your way. Additionally, instead of focusing your personal efforts to overcome a situation or environment, try concentrating instead on designing environments that help you reach your goals.  For example, if you resolve to drink less alcohol, don’t put yourself in an environment where alcohol is the focus – a bar or a party for example. If you want to increase your personal fitness, surround yourself with others who are committed to the same goal – a gym for example, rather than a coffee shop!

Foundational Habits, Big Why, and Consistency as the Key to Success

If you’ve ever tried to change a habit, you’ll know it’s a big ask. Although we know that changing our habits for good is worthwhile, it can be hard.

The trick with any change is to start small. Instead of setting yourself up for failure, break each task into smaller, more manageable chunks. Try replacing a bad habit with a positive habit in its stead.  Take, for example, a person who orders a salad for lunch rather than a burger.  The difference in calories doesn’t make that much immediate difference, but when you consider this change over the course of days, weeks and months, the results could be astounding. Committing to change and consistently working towards it in small steps is the way to go. As the saying goes, small changes equal big results.

In our next blog, we’ll be delving deeper into the magic of manufactured motivation and how to get motivated when you just can’t do it.

There are always those tasks that we really don’t want to do.  But whereas most of us can see the benefit of completing these jobs and will therefore just “suck it up” and get the job done, for people with AD/HD, these tasks can become impossible to achieve.

AD/HD and manufactured motivation

In my last blog, we looked at how to motivate ourselves when willpower has taken a hike. For those with AD/HD, feeling bad about yourself and your abilities can manifest in a lack of motivation, making carrying out even simple tasks a painful experience. But there are ways to manufacture that motivation.

1. Plan to do something that feels rewarding several times a day.  By making sure you have little successes every day, you’ll recharge your batteries for when you need them.
2. Realize that you don’t have to do everything.  Give yourself permission to let go of what you don’t do well and let someone else do it who will enjoy it.
3. Reframe tasks by asking yourself how you can complete them in a way that works for you.  Consider what might make it feel more worthwhile. Think – Rewards and Fun!

Of course, correct medication can help alleviate or minimize the effects of AD/HD and enable you to sustain focus on a task that is either overwhelming or boring.  Other ways that can help with de-motivation include exercise. The increased dopamine produced can help improve attention and focus.  Exercise also produces endorphins, the “feel good” chemical in the brain. With sleep disorders extremely common in AD/HD sufferers, a lack of good sleep can exacerbate any symptoms.  Try to maintain a good night-time routine and make the bedroom a relaxing place, free from visual distractions.

Practicing mindfulness can help with awareness of attention and with choosing appropriate actions. As a tool, mindfulness is always available and can be incorporated into daily activities easily. By noticing how you feel when undertaking various activities, you can effectively plan those that cause difficulty or demotivate you and plan a reward, for example around these. This doesn’t mean that you must practice mindfulness for hours at a time!  The key is to start small and build from maybe five or ten minutes a day to make it an attainable goal.

Finally, take advantage of the community surrounding you.  Ask others for help and even for accountability, to help you stick to your timetable and avoid procrastination.  If you lack organization, for example, a fresh set of eyes on a plan of action can help you iron out any blocks before you start.

If you would like additional support, then why not tune in to my January Lunch Club.  We’ll look at 3 ways you can catapult your success for the New Year by getting the best motivation through the power of habit, forgetting about willpower (or the lack of it) and why and how your ‘Why’ can directly relate to your motivation.

See you there?