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There are always going to be times when we find ourselves feeling odd, perhaps emotional, and generally a bit ‘out of sorts’, and sometimes it’s hard for us to put our finger on just what the cause is. However, if you’re feeling funny and not quite yourself right now, there are more than a few easily identifiable reasons…

Why right now?

The strange Covid-19 world we’re currently experiencing is creating all sorts of issues for people, mentally, physically and emotionally. It’s draining for a lot of us, and for plenty of reasons.

You may have more people at home than you’re used to. Our social batteries often only last so long, especially if you’re somewhat introverted, and expending extra energy just being around more people more often, can be exhausting. Maintaining an upbeat tone or trying to stay positive for other’s benefit can take its toll.

Alternatively, if you’re an extrovert and have been thrust into a more isolated lifestyle, you’re likely to feel overwhelmed with loneliness or boredom. Your energy comes from being around others and to suddenly have that taken from you will mean you’re likely to feel drained of enthusiasm.

You may have noticed it’s taking more work to achieve the same thing. Just ‘running out to the store’ seems a thing of the past, now with lines and social distancing rules, meaning you can’t simply grab and go as you once would have. If you’re tired and drained of energy, you may be approaching tasks with a less than enthusiastic attitude compared to normal, even if it’s something you usually relish.

Our day to day routines and patterns have been increasingly interrupted. You may be getting up later or going to bed later than usual, your mealtimes may have been thrown out of sync, not to mention any exercise routine, even if it was simply walking to work. And this interruption has a clear effect. When our patterns are interrupted, we may tend to eat more, and eat less healthily. This in turn means we’ll have less energy and so we find it easier to skip exercise, creating a vicious cycle.

So, what can be done?

Although we’re not able to change what’s going on around us externally, there are ways in which we can combat this feeling of being drained, by looking inward and making choices.

1. Take a ruthless and honest assessment of where you and your family are now

Look at your home situation. What have you got to be thankful for? What improvements could be made? How can you all help each other through this? Really look at how you’re all feeling and what behaviors you’re all exhibiting. This will help you identify where you need to be more empathic, or stricter with yourself or your children, for example. It will help you be more patient where need be, as well as aid you in finding resolution to any irritations or annoyances.

2. Make choices to support your values and dreams

Don’t be tempted to forget about yourself, your passions, and your ambitions. You are important and you matter. Things may feel so far away for a lot of us at the moment, but this will pass, and your values and dreams will remain. Give yourself some space to rekindle any passion you may have lost.

3. Be okay with imperfection

Remember, it’s ok to not be ok. It’s so very tempting to try to be super productive, learn a new skill, finish a project you’ve been putting off or generally feel you should be achieving more. For many of us, during these unfamiliar times, the pressure is overwhelming so remember to be kind to yourself and accept that things may not be as perfect as you’d like, and that’s ok.

There is a light…

Times like these are truly tough for us all. Remind yourself of the value you hold as well as the value of others. Look inward, be patient with yourself and accept that there are certain things that simply can’t be helped right now, be gentle and less expectant. Keep your heart-centered choices at the forefront of what you do, and that should give you the clarity, energy, and motivation you need to keep moving forward.

Find out more in my second blog – (More Energy, Less Overwhelm.)

In my last blog post, we looked at why we might be feeling drained and some unexpected ways to help boost your energy levels and tackle some of the stresses and strains of living in a world affected by Covid-19.

To recap the key points:

1. Take a ruthless and honest assessment of where you and your family are now

Look at your home situation. What have you got to be thankful for? What improvements could be made? How can you all help each other through this?

2. Make choices to support your values and dreams

Don’t be tempted to forget about yourself, your passions, and your ambitions

3. Be okay with imperfection

Remember, it’s ok to not be ok.

Now, let’s dig a little deeper.

If your intentions are to be kinder, more empathic, more patient, more forgiving, how will you know you’re succeeding? Quite simply, we must measure our intentions by really focusing on what’s important to us. For a start, your intentions will help you identify what’s important to you and what you value most. If you’ve opted to be more patient, for example, that may show you hold peace very dear and you’re willing to compromise in order to achieve this peace as a result.

Ask yourself, what results are you hoping for? Do you wish for a more peaceful household? Do you want to feel less pressured? Do you wish you had more guilt-free time to work on your passions? Then, each day, ask yourself if you can feel a shift. Do things seem calmer around you? Do you feel less overwhelmed? Have you started to feel that boost of energy you’ve been longing for?

How can we make sure we succeed in our intentions?

What we measure, we succeed in. When we take the time to prioritize ourselves and those around us, and become more aware and mindful of small, positive shifts, we notice progress. When we witness progress, we feel more focused, motivated, and much more inclined to continue these intentions. A positive cycle is born.

What can you do to be effective and not overwhelmed?

Sometimes, just trying to remain upbeat or motivated can feel overwhelming. Feeling drained and feeling overwhelmed often go hand in hand. This is where the patience and kindness come in. You really must endeavor to treat yourself as deserving, whether that be deserving of a break, deserving of some time out, deserving of a healthy meal or a run round the park, your needs matter.

Taking it easier on yourself actually allows for more space to grow and move forward. It may seem like a contradiction but overwhelm can cause a kind of mental paralysis and by being kinder and more patient with yourself and accepting the imperfect, you give yourself space to breathe. Often, this will lead to your desire and motivation returning, giving you that much sought-after energy boost.

You can take it easy on yourself AND move ahead…it’s possible.

Count your blessings and watch your wins. Celebrate!

Earn more, work less: here’s how

Get ruthless.

Many businesses are suffering but that doesn’t necessarily mean yours has to. It’s tempting to lower rates and fees or offer your products or services at a discounted price but that’s not always the best option.

These times are showing plenty of people what they’re truly capable of, how we can adapt to change when it’s necessary and how we can succeed through hardship.

In tough times, the tough get going.

We all need to put food on our plates and a roof over our heads. If you have something others are crying out for, charge what you’re worth. People will always pay for something that gets them results, something they value.

Working smarter, not harder, is a mantra we should all get on board with.

In my previous blog, I looked at the fundamentals of over-giving – why we do it and the potential cost of this mindset to us and those close to us.

In this blog, I’m going to explore how we turn that mindset on its head and give freely, while maintaining our values.

How to give like a Go-Giver and still earn a profit

Let me start this section by saying that being a Go-Giver; giving your best and giving generously, does NOT mean that you must give your offering, whether that’s time, support, whatever, for free.  Instead, focus on the value that you can bring to a situation.  It’s about being authentic in everything you do and, instead of giving to the point of exhaustion, it’s about effectively communicating the value of your offering,

How to provide value and invite the sale without feeling “sleezy.”

The key here is to focus on communication.  When we communicate clearly and with authenticity, then our value becomes apparent and may, ultimately be rewarded. In order to achieve this, we need to ensure that we’re listening to the wants and needs of our audience.  It’s not about a quick sale, or having a “buy, buy, buy” mentality; it’s much more about identifying the “pain points” of that person and identifying the added value that we can bring to their life; the problems they experience that we can solve.  If we can do this, then we start to build a relationship of “know, like and trust” and it’s from this relationship that sales spring eternal!

How to stay in integrity with your values, and still freely give: it’s possible

It really is possible to live a life of authentically giving, while making a profit and making those sales, as long as you honor your personal boundaries.  Problems occur when we ignore the boundaries we may have worked hard to previously identify and enforce, because we feel we need to give more that we are, perhaps, comfortable with.  Instead, if we focus on our boundaries and give only within those limits, then we can give freely and with integrity…and be able to live with ourselves, too!

We would probably all like to think that we’re generous people, giving freely of our time, our support, even our opinions, but what if we give too much? What if we continue giving to such an extent that there really isn’t anything left to give? What then?

What is over-giving?

Let’s start by comparing generous giving with over-giving. Generous giving comes from a place of plenty, where our own needs have been met and we therefore feel able to be bountiful to others. It’s generally done on an impulse and leaves us feeling good about ourselves.

Over-giving, on the other hand, tends to come, not from generosity, but from some hidden need. It’s a transaction where we expect something in return – gratitude, praise or appreciation.

Why might you be doing this?

Consider what might be going on “behind the scenes.” Might your over-giving be coming from a place of guilt? If this is sounding familiar, then take a look at why you behave like this. It could come down to a need to feel good about yourself. Perhaps it’s more to do with ego and the need to be perceived as stronger/wiser/smarter. Maybe you fool yourself with the mantra that “no one else can do this except me” or maybe you’re hoping to be appreciated or loved.

What can happen if you don’t turn this around?

Whatever the reason, the cost of over-giving can be high, both for ourselves and those around us. When we over-give, we tend to do it because we feel we “should” or “have to”. This might mean that, in that moment, our personal boundaries get pushed to one side and become less important. This can result in us feeling upset, devalued and this, in turn, plays havoc with our self-esteem. It’s a vicious circle, because the lower our self-esteem, the more our need for approval; to feel better about ourselves, so we hop on the hamster wheel of over-giving once more.

Have you considered the negative effect that always stepping into the breach may have on others? When we constantly do something for others, we actually can STOP THEIR SUCCESS. Wow. And I will bet that this is actually the OPPOSITE of what you had in mind. In extreme circumstances, this can in turn manifest as controlling behavior, where someone feels unable to complete a task, without our input.

In my next blog, I’ll look at how you can give more and get more in 3 easy steps, without losing your sanity or your self-esteem and how you can stop that hamster wheel of over-giving in its tracks.

In my last blog, we looked at ways to “remember to remember.”  In this blog, we’ll look at how to gain that seemingly elusive peace, while maintaining productivity.

Stop overcommitting with ease

First, I invite you to step back and “widen your lens” on life.  This is about practical life – the duties, the obligations and the must-do’s that we all tick off daily.  While we all juggle so many balls in the air, from business, to family, to social obligations, the first step to inner productivity peace is to revisit those priorities and assess whether they all are must-do-now’s or whether some of them can be assigned a second place on the list.  This prioritization may spur you to lift some tasks off your list.  It’s important to learn to say no, politely, yet firmly to anything that does not fit in with you and your plans.

Remember “the thing” without turning around in your driveway

In our “busy, busy, busy” lives, how often have you been derailed because you’ve forgotten an item, forgotten a meeting or simply forgotten to check?  It’s so easy to do when running life at full pelt.  To combat this, factor in a few minutes de-brief at the end of one day in preparation for the next. Visualize the next day – what do you need to have with you for each task on your to-do? I, personally, cannot overestimate the power of a good reminder note.  It doesn’t matter whether you invest in an online organizer, a planner or a good old-fashioned sticky note on the refrigerator door– how about a checklist on the inside of the front door, so you can’t miss it on your way out? Use whatever works for you.

The keys to peace, productivity, and true happiness

If your life could do with a little help on the organization front, then why not try these quick tips? 

• Try writing everything down – sounds simple and it is.  It’s much more difficult to forget when everything is written down in one place. 
• Second, is to attack the most dreaded task first.  No procrastination allowed! Get that “big” task off your list and imagine the sense of achievement you’ll feel.  Perhaps list all your to-dos and just start at the top.  There’s nothing quite like checking them off as you go. 
• Minimize distractions by turning your phone to silent or switching it off until the task is complete. 
• Lastly, try the ultimate time-saver – batching your tasks.  By reviewing your list, you may see commonality between tasks and, by combining them, you may find you save some precious time. 

If that’s the case, why not use that time to give yourself a little reward?  Maybe a few minutes enjoying a coffee in a coffee shop, or enjoying time outdoors?  You deserve it!

Have you ever had a task that’s so big or so scary that you just haven’t quite known where to start?  You’re so in awe of the task itself that getting down to it and getting it done requires as much discipline as the task itself.  Sound familiar?

Sometimes, the thought of this mammoth or difficult task just plays right into our tendency to procrastinate, or to spend a protracted period in the planning stage, rather than the execution.

How lack of Follow Through is hurting your reputation

While this is all very human, it could be damaging your reputation. Lack of follow through is not just about wasting time, it can also be about waking up one day to the realization that time and opportunities have passed you by. Get yourself a reputation as “the one who never makes good on his/her word” and people will believe this before they ever give you a chance to prove otherwise.

What’s behind the scenes, and how this effects your productivity

Enter the vicious circle of procrastination and lack of self-esteem.  We often procrastinate because we lack of self-confidence, and our inconsistency in following through not only reinforces this but it hurts that self esteem even more. Our question, “What’s wrong with me?  Why can’t I just do it?” leads to self-doubt and may affect us to such an extent that we refuse opportunities for fear that we won’t be able to complete them, so why bother trying? The more we hear negative talk, the more we believe it. The key to stopping this negative belief system in its tracks is to catch that inner critic.  Listen to your thoughts and self-talk.  Learn to notice when these negative thought patterns occur and when you say something to yourself that you wouldn’t say to someone else. Now, try replacing the bad with some good; If your negativity is well-entrenched, this might take some repetition for the positive to “stick”, but, as the saying goes, “practice makes comfortable”.

Easy Tips to start looking like the Superstar you truly are

So, how can you fight a lack of follow-through? The first tip I have is to use the power of visualization. Picture the benefits of following through – How will others react when you present the completed project or task? Then consider the effects that procrastination will have on the situation; your reputation will suffer, you’ll have to make excuses etc. When confronting that task, picture yourself successfully completing every stage of the process, from a short but effective planning session, through to effective execution.  Notice how you feel at each stage.

Another great tip is to open up to friends and family.  Allow them to know that you’re struggling.  This can work in a few ways.  You might feel embarrassed to admit that you doubt your ability to complete a task.  Vulnerability could be the motivation you need to spur into action. Alternatively, you may feel able to laugh with friends over the situation. This might help gain some perspective, allowing you to minimize the scary aspects of the task.  Others may also have a different view and be able to suggest ways to get the job done.

The third tip is to know that “done is better than perfect”.  So often we have such high expectations of ourselves that we would never be able to reach, so we just don’t try.  Instead, concentrate on small steps to enable completion of the task in hand rather than worrying because it’s just not perfect. 

In my next blog, we’ll be looking at the key steps you can take to increasing your productivity and harnessing that inner zen.