Category: Uncategorised

You try hard. You follow the steps. Sort of. Mostly, you procrastinate. If only you could do it, like everyone else. You know how. So, what’s wrong with you?

As it turns out, there is quite likely nothing “wrong” with you. What could be hurting you, however, is your “mindset.” What do I mean?

• You might believe that you just need to work harder and you will get ahead.
• You might believe that you are in charge of your aging parent(s) and this means you cannot succeed in your own work/create a life you love.
• You might believe that all you need to do is get better at scheduling your work, and your “monkey-mind” will calm down.

The really tricky part is that some portion of each bullet above can be pretty true. So, what is the issue? Let’s break them down, one by one.

• Working hard is important to being successful. Here is the caveat. Many people do not really know, deep down, what they mean by “getting ahead.” Their vision is cloudy at best. “I want to make my business successful.” What does this mean…. exactly?? In terms of profit, in terms of lifestyle, in terms of the difference you make in someone’s life?

• Helping your aging parent(s): Helping our family – particularly our aging parents – is no joke. It takes a lot of heart, soul, time, and attention. Finding the right place – that place that aligns with your value of what you want regarding YOUR life and theirs can be ever-evolving. For help with this “can of worms” bullet point, please contact my good friend and colleague Wendy Tadducci HERE. She is starting her next 6 week program on Jan 18th so don’t delay! For our purposes in this article, simply know that YOU are in charge of decisions when they affect YOU. And most will.

• Time Management can be a real farse. Life is much more than a schedule. And a schedule/to-do list can actually work against you when you’re not mindful about what is on it. A to-do list that contains energy-zapping tasks that are not in your zone of genius can be downright draining. In this scenario, you’re procrastinating, watching yourself fail time after time, and losing momentum and drive. A no-win situation. Then you tell yourself, “I just need better scheduling/time management skills.” No, you don’t. You need to stop doing things that are killing your spirit.

Contrast these 3 mistakes with the opposite scenario. You know what you want (you have defined success on your terms), you know what your role is in relationship to your family and love it, and you are clear about what is allowed on your to-do list.

Yah, that’s Simple Abundance. Mark your calendar for 1.11.2021. (That’s the normal time for Wisdom Warriors). And this time it’s the 2021 Visioning Workshop – two-hour special (11:30am to 1:30 pm). You don’t want to miss this one!

If you resist structure because you want to remain ‘more open’ and flexible, you’re not alone. Resistance takes energy. You only have so much energy. So the first thing to do is change your language. It’s not STRUCTURE or a SCHEDULE or DISCIPLINE (YUCK!!!) It’s Routine.  Routine will set you free.

As an entrepreneur, you love flexibility. It’s likely that this is a big reason why you chose this life to start with, yes? To have freedom and flexibility. Want a day off? Take it. No “boss” to ask. Want to go outside for a break then work late? Totally doable. You can go see your kids’ games for a change. You are not “chained” to your desk as if you were working “for the man.”

Many of the people I work with have referred to themselves as “wild horses” or “free spirits.” And this is so beautiful! OR they have said “I just need to discipline myself to stick to a schedule.” From what I have experienced, neither of these thought patterns are helpful to the desired end result: Peace, Productivity, Profits…and FUN….all of these – not either/or.

So then, what’s the problem?

The problem is, too much flexibility offers too much choice. Too much choice can lead to overwhelm or procrastination in decision making. There is actually a NAME for this. It’s “decision fatigue.”  With this fatigue on our brains,   “discipline” becomes so much harder, knowing we have to make decisions to what to do next, what ought to be done versus what needs to be done versus what you want to be doing.  Yikes, this is exhausting just reading it.

Having a daily and weekly and even monthly structure and routine will set you free. It’s an outline, not a death sentence. In fact, you might consider it your Guiding Light.

When your mind is focused on the task in hand, rather than stuck in planning mode, you will naturally allow headspace (not to mention time) for creative thought. You’re not bogged down with the worry of what to do next – you’ve already made that decision.

I hear you. “I don’t like to do the same thing again and again- I will get bored.” Right. This is the Dopamine in your brain telling you to mix it up. We love dopamine, particularly when we have AD/HD. AND what we know is….we do BETTER at life with routine. Like, significantly better. How often have you “just forgotten” to do something? This can be everything from getting a photo to a friend on your phone to doing a household chore for your loved ones (you promised and you meant to) to responding to that client or colleague. You can still get your dopamine….do not worry. On your own terms. YES you can re-train your brain. (Yippee!)

The gap between INTENTION and ACTION = lack of Trust. And people hire people who they Know, Like, and Trust. If you are an entrepreneur with AD/HD, you most likely have the “know and like” down pat. It’s the trust. Yes, this is when opening your mind and allowing the possibility of Routines that are Fun and Flexible and Productive into your possibility-window.

Here’s what Psychology Today says about habits and routines:

“For most people most of the time, habits are created unconsciously, and they are carried out automatically. Habits help us all to do the many hundreds of things we need and want to do in our lives. Because we can carry out a habit without having to think about it, it frees up our thought processes to work on other things. It’s a clever trick that our brains have evolved to make us more efficient.” Read more

So, biologically, we form habits to help ourselves become more efficient. Adding structure to your daily, weekly and monthly living, really will create the freedom you crave.

I’m not sure if you “needed convincing” and if you have, hopefully that’s behind us now. So what do you do? Well….you’ll need to hang tight until next week, when we’ll explore how you can develop a rhythm and still allow for the unexpected.

In my first blog this month we looked at routine and structure and how incorporating the two into your life gives you much more freedom. And this is true, but as with many things, it’s often easier said than done.

Creating new habits and getting them to stick can be hard and requires “discipline.” Now, I am not a big fan of this word, Discipline. However, many like it. For example, my son has a note on his mirror “Discipline or Regret.” Wow. So I think it works for some, and likely more often for MEN. I run a group for men with AD/HD called the BetterMan club and they keep coming up with this word. So please use it, if it suits you.  Now, when you’re in the process of creating freedom via routine, there are some things you need to take into consideration…

Such as: What happens when the unexpected occurs?

We’ve all heard the phrase, ‘expect the unexpected’, and as contradictory as that may sound, the principle is clear – always have a contingency.

When you start the process of structuring your days and weeks, it’s tempting to add far too much to your task list, especially at times when we’re feeling super productive. Remember, we often get less done in a day than we anticipate but we often get more done in one week than we expect.

Always allow space on your task list for those unforeseen circumstances. Something urgent may crop up, you may have a personal emergency, a task may take twice as long as you originally planned for.  Allow space for this. If you don’t take these unexpected things into consideration, you’ll end up having to reassess your entire plan which may set you back so far that you become overwhelmed and anxious, leading to stress and procrastination which just set you back further.

Fortunately, there’s a great way to make sure you get the important (but sometimes less than exciting stuff) out of the way before you get on with everything else.

Eat that frog!

I’ve talked about this before in my blog post 3 ways to create focus part 2

“What’s your frog? I’d define your “frog” as that thing you are not doing. That thing you keep putting on your list but you avoid. Eat it. Get it over and done. Is it a confusing frog? Nail down one clear and do-able frog leg, then. Eat that. Your reward can be doing the little stuff. The reactive “atta-boy or atta-girl” stuff. The emails where people are saying, “wow you are so helpful and responsive!” Believe me, you can still be helpful and responsive. And you will be accountable and kind to YOU by eating the frog. Even if it’s only the frog leg.”

Eating that frog enables you to work on the thing you’ve been putting off. Get it out of the way – no excuses. Train yourself to focus on that one thing first, before anything else, and you’ll see progress in no time. That way, all the truly important stuff will be done by your second cup of coffee.

One more word. Don’t do too much at once. Go really easy on yourself. Start your structure with a morning routine. You will fall in love with this concept and it will change your life. Want to know more on that? Just leave a comment here or email me at carol@eps-time.com.

In closing….remember this. Develop your rhythm and routine, create structure for yourself that allows for the unexpected and eat that darn frog!

“I know what I need to do; I Just Need More Discipline”

Right?

NO.

Raise your hand if you love discipline (crickets).

Nobody likes discipline. OK maybe control-hungry, authoritarian micromanagers. Otherwise, what do we want? We want to feel like we matter. Our opinions matter. Our work matters. We are valued.

So do stuff that matters. How is it that, even then, it’s not so easy? Great question.

The Time Dilemma- here’s what’s really happnin’: THE FARSE REVEALED

We often think we can achieve more in one day than is realistic (I see you hiding), and by contrast, we CAN achieve more in one week than we realize.

Oooooohhh….(nodding of head)…..Wait, what?

Knowing this reality…. you can plan and manage yourself (aka your “time”) around it.

The obvious, yet not done: Understanding how long things are going to take

Do you know roughly how long the tasks on your to-do list are going to take? No, nobody really does. I hate to-do lists but that’s another rant for another day.

So here is what you do, right? “I will do these 10 things before my 10 am appointment.” And then you start. You open your computer. You find there are messages. You of course, answer them. If you are really lucky, you realize that 20 to 30 minutes have just passed and you now only have 30 min left before your call. But most likely, that 10am app’t comes around and you may not have even peeked at the list.

Right?

So first, you have to find a way to not look at the messages. I know. How can this happen? How? Hmmmmm, how? Maybe shut off your wireless? Maybe shut down your email tab? Maybe draft something in a word doc first? You are going to have to come up with your own ideas here AND you know what your cryptonite is, so…..your choice, superman…

Next, never leave LIFE without a timer. How did we ever survive without timers? Right now as I write this I set my timer for 20 min so I could stay on task and finish this edit. Really? Yes, really. My life is seriously dictated by timers and it’s the only way I could get anything accomplished or show up to my apt’s on time.

We’ve looked at using a timer before in order to create focus and regular rests, but you can use a timer to measure how long those repetitive regular tasks take as well.

What to do when you run out of time

If you run out of time, you have a couple of options. You can add the tasks to-do elsewhere in your week or you can try to cram them into the same day – and I wouldn’t recommend the latter.

If you have a task list which incorporates the estimated time things will take, you’re in a much better position to allow for adjusting your plan where necessary. Rejigging your week is likely to be something you’re up against regularly, so the focus on scheduling has to allow for these moments.

Feeling overwhelmed often comes from having too much on our daily to-do list, so don’t make this mistake.

How to get back on track with your system

If, however, you have become snowed under and you’re facing overwhelm, you may be tempted to bury your head in the sand. Don’t beat yourself up! We all go through times like this and we must be kind to ourselves. Beating yourself up will just exacerbate the situation and you’ll find it harder to restart.

Reset and re-center. Go for a walk, do something fun, meditate, whatever you need to do in order to rest and re-center yourself.

Then take a look at your current plan. Identify what went ‘wrong’. Try to figure out where and when things took a turn and you felt unable to continue. Identifying these moments means we can take them into account and not repeat them in future.

Routine sets you free

Now, this may sound like a contradiction in terms, but believe me when I tell you, you will be liberated by routine!

I’m not telling you to schedule exact times each day for tasks, although many people find this useful. I’m saying routine itself is a Godsend. How you begin your day, for example, will set your course and mindset for the rest of the day. This might be listening to your favorite podcast or it may be doing some morning yoga, whatever gets you in a good place.

Knowing what you’re doing and in what order each day means you don’t have to think about it. It becomes a natural habit and it’s less for you to plan as it’s already a factor of each day (like brushing your teeth).

Key: Do the same things in the same order each morning. Make the Things no more than 3. For example, 1. Get up 2. Make coffee 3. meditate

Remind yourself of your purpose

When we work in alignment with our sense of purpose, we naturally WANT to do the things we need to do. Continually remind yourself of your purpose and make sure you’re following the right path. Remind yourself WHY you’re doing what you’re doing and how it will feel once you get there. Doing what you must do, with purpose, gives us a sense of calm and clarity and motivates us to get things done.

Make it fun to get it done

What could you do to make the things you have to do more fun? Rewards are always a good idea, sitting back and focusing on the fact you’ve just checked something off your list is an ideal way to keep you motivated. Reward yourself with something that nourishes you.

Another great idea is to use creative methods. For example, if you’re planning or mind-mapping, use colored pens, stickers, drawings, whatever makes it visually appealing and fun to create. If you would rather do your mind map electronically, here is a tool some of my clients like: https://drive.mindmup.com/

Now…how about YOU? How could you make your day to day tasks more fun? Hit reply/leave a comment!

We all want success, of course we do, it’s natural to want to create this for ourselves and those around us. But how do we keep on track? How do we make sure the path ahead is clear and we continue to make progress on our journey?

Everyone will have their own unique method to stay on course but there are some questions you will need to ask yourself frequently, in order to stay on track.

So, here they are. The 3 Critical Questions you need to frequently ask yourself:

I. Am I doing the right things in the right order?

This is really a question of two halves. Am I doing the RIGHT things? And am I doing them in the RIGHT order?

To figure out whether you’re doing the right things, you need to look at the action, then look at the outcome. I’ve talked about this in my blog post How to stop worrying and start doing…

“You need to look back at what you have achieved and acknowledge your progress. If you keep note of what you’re achieving each day, you’ll also be able to analyze what the most productive actions were, meaning you have a better picture of where to focus your efforts the following day.”

So, the first step is to make sure you’re doing the RIGHT things that pave the way to achievement.

To figure out whether you’re doing them in the right order, you need to look at your attention to detail, your energy levels, and how efficient your progress is in relation to your to-do list.

Hopefully, your to-do list will already be broken down into manageable sub-tasks. The trick is to then prioritize these tasks into how simple they are AND how much impact they will have.

“…the 80/20 rule asserts that 80% of your result will be dictated by 20% of your input. And so, identifying the 20% of tasks that will lead to the greatest achievements helps you sustain focus and prioritize what’s most valuable in terms of your goal (and therefore the most productive use of your time).” Read More Here

You’ll want to get that one thing you keep putting off done first. Eat that frog, as they say. Get it out of the way and you’ll feel much more energized and ready to tackle the other stuff.

If you’re finding your attention to detail is waning, this is often due to context switching. Make sure you batch tasks of a similar nature together, so you can maintain focus and not get distracted by the next thing on your list.

Finally, work WITH your energy levels. If you’re feeling especially productive and motivated, use that energy to check a few more things off your list. It’ll put you one step ahead of yourself and allow the opportunity to do less when your energy levels dictate it.

II. Do I know what my overall goal is?

According to Stoic philosopher Seneca, “There is no favorable wind for the sailor who doesn’t know where to go.”

If you don’t know where you’re going, how do you know which steps you must take to get there? Clarity is absolutely KEY. Once you have that clarity, you’ll gain focus and you’ll know which tasks will propel you forward on your journey. You’ll also feel much more motivated to take action.

Quite often, we feel stuck and overwhelmed when our goal is unclear, so it’s an absolute must for you to identify your goal clearly and be certain about WHY you wish to achieve it.

III. Am I having fun?

What’s the point if you’re not enjoying what you do while doing what you love? Of course, there are always tasks we don’t want to do, loitering in the background, sucking up our energy and making us feel anxious. As I’ve said before, get these out of the way as soon as you can, then you can focus on doing the tasks you enjoy that bring you further towards your goal.

Alignment with your values and principles is also necessary. If you’re not enjoying what you’re doing, ask yourself why. Is it because it doesn’t feel right? Is something not quite sitting well with you? If that’s the case, it may not be the tasks that need adapting, it may be the goal you’ve set for yourself so it’s worth analyzing this aspect to make sure you’re headed in the right direction.

In my next blog we’re going to be tackling the importance of time management as well as how to create fun and follow your purpose – so be sure to look out for it!