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Uncover the secret to true, decluttered happiness

Our open space leads to an open and clear mind. It seems obvious that productivity and organization can go hand in hand, but when life is feeling like a never-ending rollercoaster, how do you get organized and declutter your mind to make each day as productive as possible?

  1. The Brain Dump – the first step to decluttering your mind and your life is by dumping everything that is on your mind, onto a piece of paper, a white board, onto notes on your phone – whatever system works for you. Write down everything, from how you’re feeling that day, to the things you have coming up that week, what you need to get done, emails that need to be sent – whatever is it, write it down, in no particular order. You’ll quickly see that half of the stress comes from trying to keep everything present in your brain when really, we just do not have the capacity to do that.
  2. Categorize your thoughts – once your thoughts are out of your mind and onto paper, you’ll be able to categorize the tasks into priorities. Make three columns, urgent, priority and dump. This is a very useful system because it will allow you to see what you have to do and what can either go or wait. For example, getting the shopping in could be a priority as we need to eat but cleaning the oven can probably wait until next month or to another moment in time.
  3. Delegate – from the initial brain dump, you may realize that YOU don’t need to do everything. Are there things on that list that don’t require your attention or that your partner, children, or coworker can take care of? We are all guilty of “taking the world on our shoulders’ but by delegating, you will quickly be able to how efficient you can become with your time.
  4. Change your mindset – Be a doer and not a procrastinator. The secret to this is asking yourself what you really want and why is the procrastinating happening. Go deep and avoid the “quick tips”- deep answers provide true change.
  • Zap time wasters – on your brain dump, you may have also written down some things that take up a lot of your time and perhaps energy as well. Take some time to evaluate whether you should eliminate these from your life, or at least reduce them down. Things like spending excessive amounts of time on Facebook or Instagram, working with a client who doesn’t value you or any other activities that may cause stress and mind clutter should be seriously considered during the decluttering process.

This is certainly not a “one time fix” but I’ve gotten into the habit of, every week, doing a brain dump on a Sunday, organizing my week, accounting for any “may happens” and being realistic with the time I have. Since doing this, my mind feels less cluttered, I enjoy social activities and time with my family much more than I ever have and I now realize that organization not only in my home, but also in my mind has been key to unlocking true happiness. You too, can achieve uncluttered happiness with these simple steps – what are you waiting for?

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What about when your spouse/partner is not supportive of The New and Improved you?

You’ve made a plan in your head, you’re clear on how you are going to move forwards, your milestones and your goals. Who better to share these ideas and plans with than your partner or spouse? The person who is closest to you, right? Only to discover that they are not supportive of the new and improved you. Ouch! A real sting for the system, that sinking feeling deep in the pit of your stomach. So, what now?

Figure out what is really going on.

Your first and most instinctive reaction will be to get really mad. Of course, it is, you’ve spent weeks, months, years mulling this over again and again in your head only to find out that you are not supported by those closest to you. But before throwing all your toys out the pram, take a moment to evaluate what it is happening and do a little digging into WHY the lack of support. Commons answers to this question may look like this.

  • I don’t feel it’s the right time – they may well be right, so when is the right time? What are you waiting for? Is it really the timings or just that they don’t want to make the right time?
  • I like our life how it is – big changes often mean turning your world a little upside down and this narrative doesn’t suit everyone, especially those who like to get comfortable. A great exercise is to ask yourself if you would regret the decision in 10 years’ time to carry on as you are now? This will give you a good indication as to whether you want to carry on with this lifestyle or you are READY to make the leap.
  • I’m not sure it’s right for you – I would take some time to look at this question and do a quick sense check to find out whether it is RIGHT FOR YOU. Ask a very close friend or family member, someone who knows you well, and compare what they say with your partner or spouse.

It may seem like your partner or spouse is trying to dampen your dreams, but this may not be the case. For the most part, the goal of any partner is to protect you and care for you, and they may have insights into your personality and wellbeing that you don’t.

Take time to discuss together what it is you both want. This will give you a clear picture of what you both want to achieve in life, both in your life together and individually. If these goals are aligned, talk with your partner about how he/she sees potential in your plan/idea, how it could be improved and how he/she could support in these moments of change.

If you find yourself wanting very different things, it may be time to go separate ways and conquer life on your own.

If your goals are aligned, the actions that you partner/spouse takes after will be paramount to showing you whether they are supporter of you or not.

Toxic behaviours include jealousy, lack of support and controlling behaviours. Sometimes partner/spouses might not be open to the idea of your being more successful than them, provoking sensations of jealousy and therefore a lack of support. If you find yourself in this this situation, this person is not your supporter, they will not accompany on your journey and they will not raise you up when you are down. It may be time to break free.

Steve Jobs said it best – “If you haven’t found it yet, keep looking. As with all matters of the heart, you’ll know when you find it.”

Being an entrepreneur wasn’t designed to be an easy ride, it takes determination and along the way you may alienate some people, but you will also pick up a that stay with you forever. People born to be your supporters and will help you navigate through turbulent waters. Strive to find those people.

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What is a supporter and why is s/he important?

Read any book you like about success stories and you’ll find that each one of those people had someone behind them, supporting them, pushing them along and picking them up when times get hard. I would challenge anyone claiming solo success, to take a real good look around them, upon review, they’ll likely find this isn’t true!

A supporter of you and your ideas can come in any form. It may be someone with likeminded ideas and dreams, that you can bounce ideas off and celebrate wins together. It may be a close friend, a family member, a mentor, it could just be someone you aspire to or inspires you, someone who keeps you going motivated and keeps pushing you along to strive to higher ground, to be a better version of yourself and most importantly to believe in you, even when you’ve lost faith.

Making a change in your life can be truly terrifying. Growing as a person and achieving those goals you’ve only dreamed of until now can be like jumping off a cliff, right? It’s scary as hell, but often, you’ll jump to greater ground and to do that, you need to surround yourself if the right people.

Who must you surround yourself with?

There are a few important characteristics that you should for in a supporter.

People who truly understand what you are trying to achieve and most importantly WHY you are trying to achieve it. Not everyone will want to come on your journey but the few that do, will be your supporters, your warriors, your shoulder to cry on.

People with a positive mindset. The negative nelly needs to stay at home. This type of person will only hinder your performance and progress. That’s not to say that they shouldn’t be a realist – of course they should, but constantly picking up on the things that didn’t go so well will only lead to feelings of failure.

People who you feel you can be honest with and them with you. Do you have someone who you could look in the eye and say, “my friend, that is a terrible idea” and not be offended? These are the kind of people you should be surrounding yourself with. Honest, truthful people who, with your best intentions at heart, will be open about what they think.

Likeminded people who have goals and dreams on their own. Supporters who are on the same wavelength as you, will be able to fully understand where you are in your journey and how you are feeling. Empathy is a powerful tool when it comes to success and will be key to unlocking your true potential.

Someone who you can count on. Someone who will be there to listen to you, regardless of what they have going on. Selfless human beings are hard to come across but if you find them, hold onto them tight.

My challenge to you today is to take 5 minutes to look around you and ask yourself who your supporters are, drop them a message, show gratitude for their ongoing support. Perhaps you are a supporter yourself to a friend or family member? What qualities do you feel you have as a supporter? How could you be better?

I’ll leave you with this powerful quote from Oprah Winfrey “Surround yourself only by people who are going to lift you higher”.

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How to live within your means and stay connected to your dreams

Do you ever find yourself comparing your life to those around you? Perhaps on social media, in pictures of friends and family, living what you can only call paradise, while you’re sat at home on a rainy Sunday scrolling through your phone. It’s easy to get carried away right? Not everybody has the same resources, circumstances, or financial situation, so how do you continue to move forwards with your life and do it within your means? The formula is fairly simple. Add a little passion, a touch of courage and hey presto, you have yourself a cocktail for success. 

Discover a template: Take a wish and make it a reality. 

In our last article, we spoke about how to turn your dreams into more than just a fantasy and today we continue to push you on, encouraging you to take a wish and create it into a reality. It’s imperative to start by reminding you that what works for someone else may not work for you. There’s no one size fits all when it comes to life. Trial and error are your best friends when discovering your template of success. Start by challenging yourself with the “3 identifies” 

Identify your wish or dream – what is it that you want to achieve? 

Identify your resources – What do you already have that will help you on your way? It’s important to think long and hard about the existing resources because this will enable you to continue to move forwards and do it within your means. 

Identify what it is you need to make that wish a reality – what is it that you need but don’t already have? How long is it going to take to get there? How much money will you need? 

The most efficient way to achieve a wish or dream is to set a timeline against what you want to do. Break it down into manageable, bitesize pieces that won’t put too much pressure on you financially, physically, or mentally. 

What you have already in your life are your resources and your base but by no means are these your limits. Just look at Oprah Winfrey as an example of this. After a troubled childhood, she worked in radio while still at school. Each step of her journey took her a 

little closer to her goal, her wish, her dream. Steve Jobs, Ralph Lauren, Richard Branson…the list goes on. Very successful people who lived within their means, mapped their journey, and worked hard until it was complete. 

Learn the critical hurdles to surpass 

That’s not to say that these people didn’t encounter hurdles – of course they did and if you read their stories, there are many of them. It’s not always going to be an easy ride. There will be obstacles along the way, As the wise Albert Einstein very famously said “In the middle of every difficulty lies opportunity”. When these come up, take your time to look at where you have come from and make note of what you can learn from the experience. You may be met with feelings of self-doubt and question whether the path you are on is the correct one. You may even be met with resistance from the people around you. Remind yourself of what it is you want and what it will mean to you when you achieve your dream. Remember the purpose. 

Uncover the secrets of true trailblazers

Every journey to success looks different and only once you have completed the journey in full will you be able to reflect on it. But remember the greater the obstacle, the greater the glory in overcoming it. Become a trailblazer, innovator, creator, warrior, storyteller and patron of your journey. We talked above about how there is no one size fits all, how what works for someone else may not work for you. So, remember this, there’s no moment like the present. Never allow waiting to become a habit. Live your dreams and take risks. Life is happening now. 

And to finish, we’ll leave you with this from Oprah, from her speech at the Golden Globes:

“The single greatest wisdom I think I’ve ever received is that the key to fulfilment, success, happiness, contentment in life is when you align your personality with what your soul actually came to do. I believe everyone has a soul and their own personal spiritual energy. When you use your personality to serve whatever that thing is, you can’t help but be successful.”

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How to stop considering “dreams” as fantasies ONLY

Picture this scenario: You’re lost in thought, thinking about something you’ve always dreamed of, while sipping your hot latte in the Spring sunshine. You begin to laugh, how silly of you to think that this dream could ever come true, right? WRONG.

What are dreams and are fantasies?

Dream is understood as a cherished aspiration, ambition, or ideal and fantasy is the faculty or activity of imagining impossible or improbable things. But what if your dreams didn’t actually have to be just fantasies? What if you could actually make them happen?

When and why did we stop dreaming?

When I was young, I used to regularly visit the local park with my mother. One morning, while swinging what felt like “as high as the sky”, I remember vividly saying, “one more push and I’ll reach the rainbow” of course this was just a dream; a fantasy, it was never going to happen. Looking back on that moment, I realize that later aspirations have been shaped, bumped and moulded by the people around me. By the expectations of society. By my abilities, self-beliefs and confidence.

Someone once said that dreams are hard to keep alive. In a world where we’ve almost become robotic, attached to our mobile devices, answering emails in our sleep, living our lives through social media – this has never been so true. But holding onto our dreams and believing in them may be key to our happiness. Recent research suggests that having aspirations to work towards and having an optimistic outlook on dreams can positively affect our wellbeing and overall happiness.

Imagine if your dream actually came true. It absolutely can. And if you stick with it, it most likely WILL (or some version of it).

How would that make you feel? Would it make you more likely to dream some more? Would it make you feel happier? Stronger? More confident? If like me, by imagining this, you are feeling energised, this is your moment.

But how do we make dreams happen?

Start by writing down your dreams and evaluating them – are they realistic? Can they actually be done? Are they a dream or are they a fantasy? Meeting Brad Pitt while picking up your morning Starbucks and later going on to marry him is probably not going to happen but starting the doggy friendly coffee shop that you’ve always talked about? Absolutely it can happen.

Find someone who has done what you want to do – the likelihood is that if you’re dreaming of something, it will be based on something you have already lived or seen in the past. Look for your role model, what did they do? What traits did they have that made them so successful?

Make a plan – the best way to make something happen is by doing. Create a roadmap, set timelines and collect resources that will allow you to execute your dream.

Find an accountability and motivation buddy – this one is key. Find someone who believes in you and your dream, someone who will be there when you feel like you aren’t making any progress or when you are failing. Find a buddy that will cheer your wins and give you a big and tell you it’s okay if you make a mistake along the way. You might even consider hiring a coach!

Seize the opportunity and execute – stop waiting for the perfect moment, forget about the “what ifs”, distance yourself from those who don’t believe in you, those who envy you and those who won’t come with you on your journey. You don’t need them.

Dreams can take many forms, they can happen while we sleep, while awake or lost in thought. Don’t downplay any of them. Sometimes we can go places in our minds that help us formulate goals and plans that will shape our future. No matter where you have come from, no matter where you are on your journey today, if you’re feeling exhausted, deflated or pessimistic, I’ll take the opportunity to remind you of the wise words by Lupita Nyong’o – “no matter where you are from, your dreams are valid”

If you’re looking for inspiration on someone who made their dreams come true, you need look no further than at my photo. I’d be happy to share any portion of my (many) obstacles I’ve overcome, so that I now have a rather incredible life.

AND if you are a woman who wants to stop messing around with “giving to everyone except herself” – hardly ever taking the time or energy to fill her own cup…

…and wanting peace, tranquility, inspiration, and creativity…you will want to consider Discovering What you Want this summer then completing that exploration with the Green Goddess Retreat on the beautiful shores of Kezar Lake in North Sutton, New Hampshire Aug 6-9, 2021!

See more info

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Are you working way too hard? The secret to making YOUR life work (like other people’s!) is easier than you think. Part One.

Why other people’s lives seem to “just work”

Have you ever wondered to yourself why other people’s lives just seem to work? They appear carefree, everything is in alignment, they’re getting on with their day-to-day stuff without any stress. They manage to have busy and meaningful lives minus any signs of overwhelm, and opportunities seem to land in their lap. They just have all the luck, right?

What is their secret? There must be some magic at play, something the rest of us mere mortals aren’t privy to.

The Hamster Wheel of Life

While we’re stuck on the hamster wheel, they just seem to have it all together. The hamster wheel of life is a cycle. We go round and round, caught up in our to-do lists, our own busyness and the hectic nature of the world. Before long, we’re just exhausted trying to keep up – the wheel is relentless, and it keeps on turning whether we’re keeping up with it or not. Fortunately, we have one very simple option. Get off.

The hamster wheel is propelled by you, and when it takes over, it’s still you causing it to turn faster and faster until it feels out of control. The choice to get off the wheel and take a step back will put you in control. Stop. Take stock. Simplify. Take control.

And this is where the magic starts to happen.

  • What do you wish were different about your life in this moment and in future?
  • What would you love to have more time for?
  • Visualize – What does your life look and feel like now that it’s easier to manage, calmer, and brimming with all the things you love to do?

The people whose lives just seem to work are simply in control. They understand what works for them and what doesn’t, and they make sure they stick to their own rules. They have clarity and are focused on making sure they’re working towards their goals and ambitions. They are in charge of their own lives, rather than trying to keep up them. They set the pace.

How to assess what is working and what is not

By now, you should be familiar with the Productivity Success Cake.If not, stop reading and go take the quiz, now, then come back to me. For those of you who are familiar with the quiz but you’re still struggling to get off the hamster wheel – go do the quiz again. It’ll either reinforce what you know to be true, or you’ll be surprised at what’s changed for you. Either way – take the quiz here.

Commit to taking charge

And now it’s time to take charge.

The only way to implement effective change is to make that commitment to yourself. Sign an agreement with yourself. You WILL commit to simplifying your life and creating calm, peace, fluidity and balance. You’ve got this.

A calm mind

This process can feel daunting, but the results are truly incredible for those who make the commitment to taking charge and seeing it through. To make it feel easier for you, here are some tips to get you started.

  • Start slowly and build up over time. Make the commitment first and do small things each day to reinforce that commitment. You don’t have to do it all at once. It’s your process so go at your own pace, one that feels right for you.
  • Don’t judge yourself. If you’re critical towards yourself, you’ll self-sabotage. Approach what you want to achieve with an open mind, kindness, compassion, belief and trust.
  • Breathe. Silence is golden, as the saying goes, so be sure to incorporate some time to just sit peacefully and reflect each day, even if it’s just for a couple of minutes. Focus on your breath and reflect on your goals and desires. Visualize the future in all its glory.