Category: Time strategies

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Boundaries Confidence prioritize Time strategies

Know anyone who tells you “life got in the way” of what they wanted?

Have you ever been going along just fine in your business and your life, and then all of a sudden an event occurs- seemingly out of nowhere?

Maybe a loved one had an accident, maybe your spouse lost their job, maybe a snowstorm came in and you lost your electricity, or another natural disaster. 

I call this “life getting in the way.”

On April 28th, life got in the way for me.  On this date, I was informed that my father got into a big accident – a fall. It is now almost a month later, and we are still experiencing issues from this fall, and like many other people my age, I am now faced with adding the needs of my parents to my already very busy life.

Many times, my clients tell me that’s their biggest problem: they were going along fine and then life got in the way. I have three tips to help.

  1. When you believe that things are going a little off the rails (you are going to laugh at this one), double down on your self-care.  There’s a lot of conversation around self-care. Maybe it’s ‘just take a hot bath’ or ‘go to a massage’, or ‘go get acupuncture.’ My version:  do what makes you feel like you. For me, I dance, I get out in nature, and I allow myself the pleasures that make me happy. This weekend I’m planning on going to the ocean and I’m going to lay in the warm sand and I’m going to listen to the surf and I’m going to go out to eat. And it’s going to be amazing. I  ask myself ‘How are you loving yourself right now?’ 

Read on or watch the video.

  1. Clear the deck. I am right now not accepting any new appointments. I’m not making any new plans. I’m not necessarily crowding my schedule. If anything, I’m removing things. I just did a live video over at the UnscatterMe Facebook community that showed that we removed our fence from the backyard about a month ago – and sometimes removing is a great productivity strategy.  It’s a way to see into the woods.  Before there was a fence – and now I can see into the woods. Removing is a beautiful thing, removing things from your calendar. 
  1. Set your expectations with reality. I am a high achiever. I get a lot done, and I get it done in a short amount of time, with work and at home. I was once called Kali, the Goddess who has many different hands, and I am Goddess Kali.  This new situationI find myself in, however, feels like an octopus with lots of different tentacles and a lack of clarity. To that end, I release this expectation to get to the goals that I had planned on before -because I am not Kali. God is Kali right now. I am simply Carol. I am able to do what I can do. To do that, let’s return to the first tip: taking care of herself. I have to love myself. I have to eat good food, drink plenty of water, and once in a while, have a glass of wine. I must stay active, stay out in the sunshine and in nature whenever possible.

Let me know what parts of your life might be getting in your way and what tips inspired you and what your next step is. I’d love to hear it. If I can do it, you can too 🙂

Categories
Balance Confidence Goal Setting Time strategies

3 ways to make sure your “No” is not hurting you

Picture the scenario: You’re at the office water cooler, when a colleague breezes by and adopts that puppy-dog expression, which signals they want something.  As it turns out, “something” has come up and they can no longer do the presentation at the department meeting on Friday.  Would you mind taking over?

You have no background on the task.  You are snowed under with your own work and yet, instead of refusing, you hear a voice say

“Sure! Happy to help”…

Sound familiar?

It’s happened to us all.  That conviction that we would rather inconvenience ourselves than we would let anyone else down.  We just don’t like feeling we’re the bad guy (or gal) and feel guilty over prioritizing our own wishes and wellbeing.

But, I’m here to show you why it’s okay to say “NO” and how you can do so and still sleep at night.  Here goes:

1. How saying NO to others is really saying YES to yourself.

“When you say ‘Yes’ to others, make sure you are not saying ‘No’ to yourself.” ~ Paolo Coelho

Let me ask you a question. When you take a look at your to-do list, how many of the things on that list are for you and how many for someone else?  Sure, it’s nice to be needed, but doing too much for others not only leaves the situation open to abuse, and can also leave you over-extended, while you rush to fulfil those obligations or responsibilities – and even resentful, with no “you” time left in the day.

That’s not to say that you should point-blank refuse to help anyone.  The key is one little word: discernment and learning to say ‘no’ when it means saying ‘yes’ to yourself.  Practising discernment is key to building and maintaining those healthy boundaries that we have discussed in previous blog posts. Ask yourself, will saying YES to any request will get you nearer to your own goals and success, or will you simply be helping someone else get nearer their own?

2. What to do if you’re not sure what you’re saying YES to.

Again, we’ve probably all been in a situation where we have put our own agenda to one side and picked up a task for someone else, only to find that the task is WAY BIGGER than we originally thought (or were led to believe) and how does that make us feel?  Resentful? Put-upon? Stressed?  Check, check and check. 

Communication is key here.  Never be afraid to ask those “stupid” questions and check the fine details of the task ahead.  After all, if you’re going out of your way to pick up a job that is someone else’s responsibility, the least they can do is ensure you’re fully armed with the information and equipment you need to succeed.  It’s perfectly okay to ask for further clarification before you decide whether to accept or decline a request, too.  Far better to have clarity before you decide than to say “yes” blindly.  It’s perfectly acceptable to request time to consider your answer too.  “Let me check and get back to you” is all you need to say.  No need for reasons, but this magic little phrase will also give you the option to refuse without looking/feeling bad.  “I’m sorry, I checked my diary and I have something else on.” lets you off the hook pain-free.

3. Getting comfortable with NO

How can one little word make us squirm so hard?  If you want to get comfortable with saying no, then you first need to gain clarity in defining what you’re comfortable saying yes to and, conversely, what you feel better saying no to.  This is your life, your agenda, your needs and desires we’re talking about people! If you want to lead the life you want, then getting comfortable with aligning others’ requests with your own goals is paramount.  If you’re still unsure about saying no, give it a practice.  Think of one small thing that you can say NO to and give it a whirl.  Try it out and get some balance back in your life.

Hopefully, the look at the bigger picture of why it’s okay to say no sometimes will help you to achieve success in your own life. Remember that saying NO to others may allow you to say YES to yourself!

In our next blog, we’re going to be looking at some ways to say NO without upsetting anyone, without feeling guilty ourselves and without losing friends!

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Positive Thinking Productivity Time strategies Wellness

Holiday time: Avoid these pitfalls for peace AND productivity

Last time we talked about the stress so many of us feel approaching the festive period, aspiring for everything to be so ‘perfect’ whilst often neglecting our own wellbeing, and that of our friends and family, and how its so easy for this wonderful time to feel like a diversion from ‘work’.

Spending time away from the distraction of the phone ringing and emails pinging and instead focusing on planning, prevention, capability improvement and relationship building will lead to a clearer vision and a more fulfilled life, allowing you to enjoy more control and fewer crisis situations.  How valuable would spending some time on self-renewal and tasks that inspire and uplift you be, not only to your work life, but your overall wellbeing? By having your intention top of mind, you avoid wasting that precious time on autopilot and build that self-worth by actually achieving something.

For maximum productivity:

  • Set Boundaries. It’s all about the quality. Quality time off means real time off, not time off cleaning the house from top to bottom, just in case your guests notice that speck of dust, or catching up on the ironing mountain. It’s not about sneaking in work while the kids are playing in the living room (you know who you are.) You might have to be assertive in assigning some “me-time”.  Humans aside, setting boundaries can also involve setting some rules with the gadgets in your life, too. Thanks to technology, we are never far from emails and social media…all the things that link us back to work and, if we’re not careful, sneakily suck us back into the work environment. Allow yourself total radio silence on those work emails and focus on the quality of a few hours peace to focus on family and friends.  While we’re distracting ourselves with modern technology, we aren’t experiencing that all-important quality time. It’s just time!
  • Be off balance, on purpose. Some will say it’s about balance; balance in work and non-work, balance in activity-filled time and total down-time.  I say it’s about knowing what you really want, and really need, and honoring that. It’s about clearly understanding yourself, your priorities, and your body, mind, and spirit. It’s about deciding to be off balance, on purpose. Be where you are when you are there. And have a plan to recall what you want to do when you emerge from being present with your family/yourself, so you don’t “forget” about work related items.

Downtime (time “off”) is as much about caring for your body as it is your mind. And, if you still need some persuading, think of the favor you are doing your boss (who of course might be YOU) by taking time off.  Sound counter-intuitive?  Ask yourself, would your boss rather have an employee who is relaxed, refreshed, recharged and (yep…the “P” word) productive, or one that is exhausted, stressed and drained?  It really is a no-brainer, isn’t it?

I wish you peace, joy, productivity, and of course lots of turkey. Yes, you can have it all.  Just not all at once…

Categories
Positive Thinking Time strategies vacation

How to get the most out of the holiday season, guilt free.

Truth time:  As we approach the holiday season, are you enthused and eagerly anticipating the gift shopping, the preparation and the family time, or is there an element of stress and, dare I say, guilt nestling in there, too?

If so, you’re not alone.  According to research, “Festive Stress” is real, with 31% of Americans describing the holidays season as “frantic”.

The problem is, we’ve all been conditioned over the years to expect that the holidays will be “magical” and “wonderful” – but the truth is that many of us feel drained by the hustle and bustle and we really just work too hard in a bid to have the “perfect” holiday experience. In addition, there is the stress of enforced down-time from work, while we chit chat with family over the turkey, or dive into another slice of pumpkin pie, all the while mentally checking our office to-do list.  It’s no wonder that, far from being the most wonderful time of the year, the holidays can feel like one big diversion of our attention from “the important stuff” – our work life- and guilt that we are “wasting” valuable time, all because for a couple of days, we step off “productivity path” and indulge ourselves with family-time.

But this guilt has a real knack for distracting us from what’s really important.  For most of us, work is a HUGE part of our lives, and a work-life balance is something we talk about, but never quite achieve. Before we know it, that romantic vision, that excited anticipation of time away has become a guilt-fest, leaving us more stressed than if we were actually at work.

The truth, however, is that the holidays give us a perfect reason to push that reset and recharge button.  Just because it’s time away from the office, doesn’t mean it can’t still be used productively.  Here are three tips to getting the most out of the holiday season.

1. Stop, just stop! We all know that one person who pulls off an amazing Thanksgiving dinner, while juggling the unexpected guests, the over-excited children …and the impossibly perfect home. We marvel at how they can do it all and still fit in baking cookies with the little ones and remaining civil with the Mother-in-Law. Yes, our lives are busy and there never seem to be any limits to the demands on our time, but no one person can and will be 100% productive all the time.

It’s an illusion, people!

What’s important is that you recognize the importance of time away and don’t fall into the trap of wrapping your self-worth up with how busy you are, like a present under the tree. Stop comparing yourself to others who appear to have it all down pat. It’s not some sort of competition to see who can rack up the most hours.  That’s just a one-way route to inadequacy highway. Think about it; the world can’t be filled with super-humans and you’ve been left out. Actively stop the comparison thing and shut off that inner (oh, so critical!) voice of comparison. Finally, concentrate on your inherent self-worth.  You work hard.  You are entitled to time away, free from guilt. Period.

2. Set an intention.  What do you want to achieve with your away-time? By identifying what you want from your break beforehand, you are far more likely to be able to meet those needs and in so doing, enjoy quality time. Maybe focus your away-time on all those “Important, but not urgent tasks” you have been meaning to do but…

Need some help with setting these intentions and boundaries? Check out our next blog on this important topic.

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Confidence Get Organized Growth More time in my day Positive Thinking prioritize Time strategies Wellness

3 Ways To Make Sure Your Energy Is Not Wasted

In the last blog, we looked at ways to control our energy levels and how to discover what in our life affects them on a day to day basis.

But, what about those times when our levels are at a high?  How can we keep from wasting those precious feelings?

3 ways to keep your energy at the max:

 

  1. Be selective. Good intentions are one thing, but if you spread that energy too thin, there will only be one loser.    We all know someone, who, when we come away from a conversation or encounter, makes us feel drained.  Who, when we ask a simple, “How are you?” will give us chapter and verse on every little thing going wrong in their lives.  You know, the “glass half-empty” kinda gal?

 

These people simply suck us dry of any good vibes and leave us not only carrying our own concerns, but theirs too.  Don’t let them!  Steer a wide berth from these “Emotional Vampires”, these people who are just going to bring you down and say, “Not today, thanks!”

 

  1. Look at your goals. Funnel your positive, light-shining energy in to what YOU want to achieve.  Your goals.  Not anyone else’s, – yours.  Create a list of what you want to achieve and think big here – don’t limit your dreams and then focus that energy into a plan of action.  Remember, little steps achieve big things and don’t let your energy be depleted by set backs along the way.  You’re in this for the long-haul, remember?

 

  1. Do what you love. Why are you spending time and emotional energy on those tasks that you HATE? That’s a sure-fire way of depleting your energy tanks.  Instead, identify and recognise those tasks you dislike, or that you spend too long on and either find someone else who loves that kind of thing (and make their day), or eliminate them in some other way.  Can they be broken down into smaller, less onerous tasks, for instance?

 

Lastly, remember, you’re in control.  These are your energy levels, your resources, the things that make you tick that we’re talking about.  You wouldn’t run a car without fuel, so why would you run your body without investing some care and long-term maintenance on it?

Pay yourself some attention and, I promise, you’ll be reaping the benefits forever after.

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Productivity productivity in the workplace Time strategies vacation Wellness

The sublime art of slowing down

Last week we discussed the benefits of a summer vacation. But what about when you don’t want to work AT ALL in summer? What about when you have children and you are trying to also run a company? Scroll to the bottom to address this tricky issue.

First, let’s address the real benefits of slowing down. Why does this work so well when we are addressing productivity?

Slowing down gives space to our subconscious, letting our intuition come to conclusions in a less logical way.  Letting our creativity flow is a big step towards being more productive, after all, we are human beings, not robots.  Our productivity doesn’t depend on speed and efficiency, it depends on our creativity, intuition and innovation, and these things need space to flourish.  Nothing shuts down inspiration faster than forcing it.  Yup, it’s counterintuitive.

Creativity is everything.  Many jobs can be exported, and have been, to people who can work for far lower pay than us.  The only thing that truly sets you apart is your creativity and innovation.  Creativity stems from connections between disparate ideas, but unless you have explored a variety of experiences, you will not have anything to draw from.  Going on vacation or simply taking some time off work provides a wealth of novelty to spur creativity.

When we slow down and give ourselves time to think, we notice the difference between getting things done and getting the RIGHT things done (and doing them well).

“It’s only when we start asking ourselves questions like “what am I actually doing here?”, that thinking time starts to feel productive”

The human body and mind need breaks and vacations to provide rest and benefits that have a much greater influence on success and happiness than clocking in overtime at work. Overworking yourself isn’t going to make you more likely to succeed.  If anything, it may make you resent your work, lower its quality, and negatively impact your happiness.

OK, so, maybe it’s your situation that you are an entrepreneur with kids home for the summer. Yikes, what do you do?

This is not easy! Camp is expensive. Running kids around or trying to work with loud and needy kids in your home is far worse though.  You may be thinking “I’ll just take the summer off.”

Here are some items to consider:

  1. Can you afford to take the summer “off”? Do you need the cash flow? If you stop working, how will this affect your workflow/cash flow in the fall?
  2. Get real. Even if you take 4 weeks off of the 8-10 weeks, doing so purposefully is a much better strategy.

I work all summer.  I also take vacation.  As my children grow, their needs change.  Being real about what you expect is critical – boundaries come into play here.  Our children love to push our boundaries, and we don’t do what we “should” do.  We do what we value.

This is tricky! We will talk more about this in our July Lunchtime Love.   Also feel free to email me at Carol@eps-time.com to untangle the web of conflicting voices in your head….

Be amazing, be bold, rest well!

Carol

 

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