Secret struggles and their surprising solutions
It’s a good time to talk about physical clutter because most of us (at least in the Northern Hemisphere), are still by and large in our homes. We’re not spending quite as much time outdoors. So it’s a beautiful time to really take a look around our homes as it gets a little bit brighter and nicer out because we want to make sure that we’re ready to go outdoors; we’re ready to feel free (not guilty) about doing that. It also helps us be more productive and happy in our homes, and in our offices, when we are indoors to really have it be as clutter free as possible.
Let’s review 3 struggles regarding physical clutter, and the process of decluttering!
1. The first struggle is starting. Sometimes, it’s just so overwhelming! Let’s say you desire to do some de-cluttering. However, it just feels incredibly overwhelming. Why might that be? It could be that, if you’ve got a home and the whole thing is in clutter, not just your home office, but really so much of it – so where do you even start? So you find yourself procrastinating. You find yourself being on Facebook and you find yourself going out of your home being “too busy” to do these things. And it’s overwhelming. So that’s number one, how do you get started?
BONUS NOTE: if you’re keenly self-aware, you may notice a lot of voices in your head saying, ‘why bother?’ Quite likely, comes back to this truth. The voices might say you “are not meant to be organized.” These voices that come into your head are REAL and they may prevent you from getting started. When something is too big, say- a whole house to declutter, make the project SMALLER!
SECOND BONUS NOTE: Don’t try to do everything. DO NOT TRY TO “Organize everything and figure it all out” first. You may have this idea that everything has to be all organized and figured out before you just do one little piece. The opposite is most likely true.. In fact, if you just do one little piece, that’s the momentum of starting. The momentum of starting helps you continue and be more motivated to do more. Go ahead and dial your project down into a manageable chunk. Sometimes, the first step must be so small that it feels ridiculous. Even if it’s just a “pavement change”, like a threshold in your mind that you are going over, (moving one piece of paper, for example) it gets you momentum to move two pieces of paper. I’m running a group right now. We’re calling ourselves the Goldilocks Goal Getters, meaning not too big, not too small, just right! We err to be smaller on our goals than bigger. Why??? When we have bigger goals, they don’t get done because they become so overwhelming. Small = starting.
2. The second struggle is consistency. I had a client and she did a declutter of her home office. Then she ended up with a bunch of to-dos, and then that felt overwhelming. She asked, “what do I do first? Now I’ve got all these piles and all these to-dos, but then what do I do with them?” The answer is, again, make it small, one at a time. So, how does she create consistency? She might choose to spend an hour a day on each of these to-dos. That’s a great beginning. Then what can happen? Those darn voices can come in and say “but you’ll never finish it.” KNOWING THAT THE VOICES ARE NOT ‘YOU’ OR ‘TRUE’ IS POWERFUL!
I had a client with a backlog of client actions that needed to be taken, and this person is still super busy with the work that they’re doing day in and day out. So to get through that backlog a little bit at a time almost seems like throwing stones in the tide, and it’s not that way. Let’s use a beach metaphor. You’ve got the whole beach and you’ve got the tide, but maybe there’s a little pool right where the tide is, the tide has come in and then left some water there, and then it’s gone out a bit. And you get to address just that pool right there, and that pool matters, and that pool feels manageable. That’s how to do it in the short term. Sticking to things in the short term is all about dialing it into a manageable chunk, and then being okay with doing these things. It could be one hour a day, or it could be one day a week on a Saturday, something like that. A big part of this solution is “being okay” with the fact that it’s not going to be all done all at once. Sounds kind of silly perhaps, and I find that we think it has to get done all at once. That’s ‘all or nothing’ thinking, and ‘all or nothing’ thinking is a great way to guarantee that you will fail.
So, allow yourself those small steps, those baby steps. Reward yourself along the way, even though you think you shouldn’t get a reward, “because it’s too small of a step”. It’s actually the opposite. Doing the small steps and then rewarding yourself will actually get you somewhere, and you will start to feel good and gain that momentum.
3. The third struggle is longer term consistency. How do you sustain this for the long term? One way is to enlist external help. You’ll start to believe in yourself with your shorter term consistency, saying for example, “hey, I just cleaned out my ‘command central’ area in my kitchen”. Many people have their command central in their kitchen – they’ll have mail, their phone, a calendar, etc. This example is more of a home organization type, and all systems bleed together when we’re an entrepreneur. So once that’s set up, now we can take that success and bring it outside to elicit external support. We can bring in our family members, we can bring in our colleagues, and we can say, “Hey, look, I’ve got this success, now how do I do my next thing … and my next thing … and my next thing?” Before you know it, the whole house (or office, or organization) is dealt with- little bits at a time. Actions every day, every week, every month, and giving yourself those prizes, continuing asking for help, giving yourself bigger prizes and being okay when things do fall apart, because it’s most likely they will…all those are steps for LONG term, consistent success.
CAUTION: That ‘all or nothing’ thinking can return! That thinking that “unless I’m done perfectly and it stays this way forever, I may as well not bother.” So remember, that thinking is a great way to guarantee failure.
Now that you know the top 3 struggles and how to overcome them, what will be your next step? Set a goal, for example, first day of spring on Mar 20, 2023 to create one small habit that will create momentum.
Comment below and let me know what that step might be!
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You are NOT alone!