Author: Carol Williams

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How to get what you really want. Really.

“You can’t always get, what you want…You can’t always get, what you want…but if you try sometimes…you get what you need….”

OK; we all know that song. Right? “You Can’t Always Get What You Want” is a song by the Rolling Stones on their 1969 album Let It Bleed.

Is it true? Yes and no.

While it’s true that the Universe will provide us what we need, a nudge in the right direction never hurts. Enter “all that goal-setting.” Yet, so many people don’t bother with goals. While many reasons can be offered as to why, it often boils down to one phrase.

We don’t get what we want. We get what we expect.
(no wonder we drop goals!)

Sit with that for a minute. What’s your current dilemma?

Example: Are you an entrepreneur who has way too much to do, is very busy, hates “all things marketing” and simply wants to get on with her work? You say you want to make a good living. But do you truly expect it?

Follow the steps below to finally realize why you continue to try and try, with some success, yet, often feel frustrated and broke. (and yes, there is a way out!)

Maybe you have set goals before. Maybe they have worked. Maybe not. Never mind, today is a new day. You have permission to release whatever has not worked in the past. It’s a new sheet of paper. When you come to this with a fresh outlook, also known as “beginner’s mind,” the possibilities sprout and become more real.

START HERE: ANSWER THESE QUESTIONS. SPEND SOME TIME ON THEM.

  1. What in your life (business, family, relationships, health) do you want to MASTER?
  2. With the answer to number one, ask, so what? One of the strongest motivators is dissatisfaction. Tension drives action.
  3. When you achieve your mastery (the goal you set in #1), how will your life change for the better? What lies beneath? That’s right, go deep. The deeper, the better.
  4. Commit to achieving your goal. No matter what. Believe, that even though you actually have no clue how it will be done, that it will be. You are meant to do this.
  5. Practice. Repeat. Repeat. Practice. Repeat. Repeat. Learn. Repeat. Repeat. (Do you know the 10,000 hour rule? You can master anything by working for 10 years and/or practicing it for 10,000 hours).

Now, I told you I’d mention why you may be feeling frustrated even though you have tried goals before.

We can say we want to lose 10 lbs. But do we expect to do this? We can say we would like to find the perfect partner. Yet we say there are no decent (men/women) out there. We throw excuses (some of them quite believable) in front of us. We sabotage ourselves, and complicate ourselves, and in the process feel pretty sorry for ourselves. And congratulations, we are now “normal.” Since the bulk of the population lives this way, we find comfort in this constant state of discomfort. What are they saying? They are saying,

“I want to change my life but I don’t really believe I can”

Is there a new way to go? Sure. HERE IS YOUR NEW MANTRA.

Expect great things.  Act as if.

Then, expect your life experiences to match your expectations (which are now Great Things).

Onward!

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Get Organized procrastination Productivity

Did she really recommend that I procrastinate?

SOMETIMES PROCRASTINATION IS “GOOD!”

Let’s be real. Do you procrastinate?

If “yes” then welcome to Being Human. There is NOTHING wrong with you. (Can I stop reading now?) Procrastination is our way of avoiding something unpleasant. Our bodies and minds are saying, NO! My challenge to you is, why is it unpleasant? This question equals, “why am I procrastinating?”

Ask yourself:

  1. What is your expectation?
  2. How did you establish said expectation? Did it come from childhood? Teachers? Supervisors?
  3. What might happen if this expectation did not exist? That you CHANGE it to another one?

Example of expectation:
I must spend every moment of my workday being productive.  I cannot afford to take a lunch – that’s for lazy people.  I’m productive, busy, professional, and irreplaceable…I need to keep my game face on.

Example of changing this expectation:
I am important in my company.  I empower others and lead by example.  I know that taking frequent breaks clears my mind and allows me to do my best work.

When you change unrealistic expectations, you honor yourself more. When you honor yourself more, you are far less likely to be distracted, and to procrastinate.

And now, on to the Productivity Success Plan.

Last time, we dove into the first step in this plan. Step One was to identify what procrastination looks like for YOU (in other words, when you procrastinate what are you actually DOING?)

Step Two: The Procrastination Rescue Ritual
OK, so now you realize you are procrastinating. How do you Get Out of Procrastination-ville right away? Start your own Procrastination Rescue Ritual!

What’s a Procrastination Rescue Ritual?

This is a SIMPLE WAY to get you back on track. It’s so easy to get off track, right? So, first, NOTICE, and then, come up with a Really Simple Ritual so you can do it and you start actually getting stuff done!

Here are your 3 steps:

  1. Check in
  2. Center Yourself
  3. Re-motivate

Sound simple? Too simple? Yes, it’s simple…and simple WORKS.

Here’s what this might look like:

  1. You sit down at your computer. You check Facebook for work posts. The next thing you know, you see a sponsored ad for something cool, or you sister posted fun vacation photos. **YOU NOTICE***
  2. Yikes! Am I procrastinating (yes) (ask why? See above, too boring of a task, too long of a time allocated, what is it?)
  3. Procrastination Rescue Ritual time:
    • Check In: What do I need right now? A cup of tea and headphones? A quick walk? Shut down all my browser windows?
    • Center Yourself: Breathe. Do a mini meditation.
    • Re-motivate: Ask yourself, why is this important (relate it to your larger mission). Visualize yourself in your success. Cool, you are doing this!

STEP THREE.
Once you’ve rescued yourself, it’s time to Move into the Now. Ask yourself three essential questions to maximize your time and energy (we will do this 3/5)

And here’s a preview of the next 3 steps!

STEP FOUR
Removing Distractions

STEP FIVE
What needs to change?

STEP SIX
Celebrate!

Plus…here’s a BONUS TIP!

Sometimes thinking about the task is much bigger than actually doing it. Right? Go on, just start…something.

Categories
Get Organized More time in my day procrastination productivity in the workplace Time strategies

Why Procrastination feels so good, hurts us so much, and how to outsmart our brain

I love to procrastinate. It feels so good. Wait, what?

It does! I like to have fun you know; I’m not “all business”.  While I love my work, I love fun even more. So, when I don’t really wish to “dive in” to a project, I get really busy doing things I can check off my list. Does this sound familiar? And yes, this is a form of procrastination.

Are you interested in what you might be doing to procrastinate, where you might honor it, and where you might tweak it, SO THAT you may become your Best Self? If yes, read on.

FIRST, ASK YOURSELF THESE QUESTIONS:

Do you:

  • Pretend to work while playing computer games or watching shows, thus making the work take hours because you keep getting sucked into the game or show or YouTube or Facebook?
  • Start to work on something, then remember something else that’s more urgent, dropping that midway to hop onto something else… only to finally return to the first task a couple hours later, exhausted, and just call it a day?
  • Clean up things that don’t really need to be cleaned up (like the tabs on your browser) to avoid doing what REALLY needs to be done (hint: you don’t like it, could be bookkeeping, could be “real” filing…what’s on your “I hate this” list?)

Do you wish you could:

  • Spend several hours of guilt-free quality time with your partner or friends every day (because all those projects you used to procrastinate on are no longer hanging over your head)?
  • Get into a daily rhythm that keeps you well-rested, happy, and doing your very best work?
  • Follow through with your goals consistently, making solid progress without always having to battle procrastination?

>>>Well, wish no more. We’re going to dive deep on March 5th into the Productivity Success Plan<<<

In the meantime, here are some first steps to get you started NOW.

Productivity Success Plan: Beat Procrastination, Step by Step.

STEP ONE. Identify how YOU procrastinate.
Go ahead, list out some scenarios…what does procrastination look like for YOU?
1.
2.
3.

HINT – identity what IS and what IS NOT ‘procrastination’.

What is procrastination, anyhow? Before we can determine how Ugly it is, or how Wonderful it is, let’s determine WHAT it is.

Here’s what it’s NOT!

– Big thinking time: If you are thinking big, I would not call this procrastination. If you are thinking big during the time where every moment counts, with a looming deadline that you are putting off, that’s procrastination.
– Scheduled downtime: Are you 100% productive and billable during 100% of your day? NO. You’re not a machine. And, even your machines need scheduled downtime (or they take the unscheduled downtime…right?)
– Energy-based downtime: When we pay really amazing attention to our most productive times of the day, and how long we can stay productive during those times, we are working WITH our bodies (not against them). So is this procrastinating? I say no.

STEP TWO.
OK, so now you realize you are procrastinating. How do you Get Out right away? Start your own Procrastination Rescue Ritual (more on that coming).

STEP THREE.
Once you’ve rescued yourself, it’s time to Move into the Now. Ask yourself three essential questions to maximize your time and energy (we will do this 3/5).

 

And here’s a preview of the next 3 steps; more will be coming in future articles and on our call 3/5/18:

STEP FOUR
Removing Distractions

STEP FIVE
What needs to change?

STEP SIX
Celebrate!

Yes, some procrastination is good…more on that next time. In the meantime, just start on step one and watch your productivity skyrocket!

Categories
Get Organized prioritize Productivity Time strategies

Success = When a plan meets an opportunity

In December, those of you who were on the Lunchtime Love Group Coaching call decided to dream, plan, and Kickstart 2018. There was talk of vision boards and planning. In January, we overcame our obstacles.

Now, as we move through the first quarter of 2018 in full swing, we have our game face on. We are ready, we are headlong into the New Year, with new clients, and new opportunities! Right? If this is you, you may have wanted this “yesterday”- and are feeling a little impatient if it is not “quite happening yet.” Perhaps that impatience has led to not completely planning; kind of “winging it” and trying “lots of stuff.” Maybe you are busy listening to a lot of webinars, and reading a lot of things from “gurus” to help you succeed. Maybe.

I have lots of experience with this, and it’s not all pretty. For years, there I was, the Queen Of Productivity, doing lots of things and not getting very far. I was having fun, I was “organized enough” and I had clients. But I was totally missing the Real Boat…which is the boat to Success on My Terms. I’d love to share with you how I turned my boat around and how you can do the same, if this resonates with you. We can do a deeper dive into ensuring your success at our complimentary Lunchtime Love Group Coaching on Monday February 5, at high noon Eastern time.

What changed for me and how can it help you?

There were two main shifts for me to reach what I consider success.

First:

I focused. Before 2015, I was doing so many things. I was organizing. I was speaking. I was giving workshops. I was doing webinars. I was teaching. I was coaching. I was Evernote Consulting. I was even a contracted rental coordinator! Wow! Imagine the cash I was bringing in. Right? Wrong. I was spread too thin, and, as a single mother, I had a crazy amount of guilt around leaving my kids alone for too long, so I worked less, oh my goodness…not pretty. I felt like a failure when I looked at my bank account with bleary eyes from the exhaustion. At the end of 2015 I decided to focus on coaching. Each year since then I have watched my available free time increase, my income increase, and my sanity and peace of mind return.

 

Second:

I learned and implemented a system. While I did have a system(s), they were not as cohesive or comprehensive as they needed to be for my own success. I was the proverbial “shoemaker without good shoes.”  I invested in a “back end office system” called the Coaches’ Console. Since I decided to focus on coaching (it was either that or get a job), I decided I’d better invest and get serious. It was hands-down the best move I have ever made. It took a while! I had to get trained in the system and un-do some stuff and re-do some stuff. That was not so easy. I had to say NO to the “fun stuff” on the weekends (the was really hard for me since I love fun) so I could say YES to being financially successful, as I learned and practiced my new system.

One of the owners of the Coaches’ Console, Melinda Cohan, has a saying that goes like this. “When preparedness meets opportunity, success is inevitable.” I might have that phrase “slightly wrong” but the intent is there. We must be ready for success (being prepared). Then, we must take the steps to be successful (noticing/harnessing the opportunity). If we skip either of those, we will not find the success we deserve, and we will start telling ourselves how undeserving we are…and…well, let’s not “go there”.

Instead, let’s discuss the steps to take, to insure your success in the new year; being prepared for your success.

  • Step One: Determine what “success” looks like for you. Dare to dream, then quantify it. Get specific. (For me, this was the Focus)
  • Step Two: Inventory. What’s working? What isn’t? What are the gaps? (For me this was also the Focus)
  • Step Three: Invest. Where do you need to invest? Do you need software, hardware, staff? Education? More hours available to work (if you are working less than 40 hrs. per week)? (For me, this was my Coaches’ Console back end office system)
  • Step Four: Identify milestones. Measure. (The nice part about my system is it helps me Measure)
  • Step Five: Hold yourself accountable. Join a mastermind. Hire a coach who is works in your industry and/or with your specific challenge to achieve the maximum possible results in the shortest amount of time. (I have both of these and they are super helpful! We cannot do it alone!)
Categories
Get Organized Wellness

What’s in My Way? Why focusing on the areas to remediate could be your biggest mistake

For many of you who celebrate Christmas, it’s post-holiday-hangover time. Whew! Now what?
This is the time that we tend to look forward.

What do you see?

  • Do you have a somewhat pessimistic attitude; you’ve tried before but your plans get scrapped by, say, January 31?
  • Are you thinking that goals are for people without your life limitations (money, family support, time, etc.?)
  • Are you feeling deflated…time and time again you have spent energy and money, yet have seen so little success due to (what’s your obstacle? Health? Politics? Financial constraints?)

Would you finally like to:

  • Get somewhere; see traction to your dreams (if you dare to dream them?)
  • Earn what you are truly worth
  • Live in alignment with your true potential and gifts? (Not sure what this means? Stick with me)

If you are saying, YES, (not like not “well, maybe, I will see”) but rather,” HELL, YES”! Then, read on (and of course…save the Jan. 8th date for our Lunchtime Love!

STEP ONE TO ELIMINATING YOUR OBSTACLE: Look Forward.

What do you see that might lie in your way as you enter 2018? Here’s the problem: often, that’s all we see.

I have the trick for you. It’s a magic pill. Are you ready? Stop seeing it.

What did she say? That’s right; stop seeing what is in your way. Trust me on this (and we will circle back to address the obstacles).   Instead, do this:

  • Dare to put yourself in your “ideal shoes” 6 months from now
  • Stop worrying that you don’t have the support (time, resources, environment, etc.)
  • Instead, focus on what might be possible if you actually were able to finally see traction (and thus, results) on those plans you make January 1
  • Relate those results to “the big three”: What will this mean for your life, specifically:
    • Your income?
    • Your relationships?
    • Your health?
Categories
Get Organized More time in my day prioritize Time strategies workflow systems

Kickstart 2018: Discover what is holding you back, why, and how to avoid getting stuck “again.”

First, some questions:

  • Who’s in charge, anyway? Is it you, or is it life?
  • Are you a planner, or, are you a “go with the flow” kind of person? Why?

i) If you are a planner, what do you fear might happen without a plan? Why do things have to go “your” way? “So what” if they don’t?

ii) If you “go with the flow,” what scares you about making a plan? Is your plan too rigid? Do you fear disappointing others or perhaps not having enough room to be spontaneous?

The answer is … a little of both.

I know both kinds of people. I am definitely more in the Planner box. I love plans. I probably love plans more than is healthy for me. Why am I saying that? I’m saying that because over-planning can lead to over-scheduling. Over-scheduling can lead to stress and chaos, and ultimately, burnout. Burnout is not fun!

Conversely, there is that person who lives like he is blowing in the breeze. His ship sails wherever the wind blows, and he finds comfort there. But he looks back, and wonders what happened to his life. He’s not sure what is next, or even how to decide. He fears that he might make the wrong decision, so few decisions are made. His whole life, his desk, his home, his basement, etc., has too much stuff and is cluttered; representing such indecision.

Or maybe, you are somewhere in the middle. You decide something, go along the path for a bit, typically “full boar,” then get bored, when you then pick something new and exciting. Until, that is, this new thing gets old and then gets left behind for the next new thing. This cycle typically leads to a lot of investment with little return, and ultimately, frustration and burnout.

No matter which description fits best, we can all benefit from a little planning along with a healthy dose of accepting what life throws our way.

Let’s Kickstart 2018! I’ve developed some steps as food for thought on our Dec. 11, 2017 Lunchtime Love call.

Step One: Imagine it is December 2018. Write a letter to yourself about what you have accomplished. What fears have you overcome? What have you addressed that you have been putting off? How are you feeling and why?

  • Tip: Don’t overdo this exercise. Sometimes we tend to over-inflate what is possible and come up really short. This “overshooting” can be damaging to the psyche and is cause for the planning to cease. So, reach for the stars, with your feet firmly planted on the ground.

Step Two: What is the most important thing, the thing that will provide the most impact, is the easiest to do, will not cost a lot of time or money, that you can do in the next week or so to move toward your December 2018 goal? That’s right, I am asking you to start NOW. Right now, in November/December 2107. You do NOT need to “wait” until January to lay the groundwork for your 2018 year-end success.

  • Tip: This can be really simple. For example, if you want to keep better track of your finances, and your desk is a pile of unopened mail, just take 15 minutes and sort the mail. You do not need to get it super tidy. Just put it into broad categories and piles. It’s a step. Steps provide momentum and momentum builds on itself.

Progress follows …

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