Author: Carol Williams

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Do you back away from the limelight?

Do you back away from the limelight?

5 ways this is hurting you, and what you can do about it.

You don’t need to be a celebrity to have a fear of being visible. I work with many entrepreneurs. Oddly enough, so many of them fear “getting out there.” Life challenges us and asks us to step up on a daily basis. As an entrepreneur, when we hide, our profits die. So, what’s the hiding about? And how can we jump over this hurdle, into the land of profits and true happiness?

We constantly feel this pressure of being something else, somebody else, be always perfect. We are afraid of our true self, we fear that if we try to show ourselves someone will degrade us and we’ll be ashamed, exposed. Wow.

Do any of these 5 self-sabotaging moves look familiar?

1. Jealousy

  • Issue: Maybe a colleague received yet another promotion, or our younger boss just bought a gorgeous sporty car. Jealousy comes from our deep-rooted fears and insecurities which appear when we feel like we are not enough or we don’t have enough to be happy.
  • Solution: Comparing ourselves to others is rarely a win. What special gifts do YOU bring to the table? Honor those.

2. Faking It

  • Issue: “Fake it until you make it” sounds better than it actually is. Faking doesn’t do anyone any favors. We all tell little lies to ourselves and others in order to cope with our fears of being degraded or even ridiculed for who we really are. Beware – hiding our true self starves our potential!
  • Solution:  Live As If. When you swap your mindset for a new one, then act as if, you’re moving forward authentically. For example, say you want to be a speaker. You don’t have speaking experience. You are scared to be in front of people. What would a great speaker in training then do? Maybe he would join Toastmasters. Voila! Do this and you are Living As If. One small step.

3. Our Inner Bullies

  • Issue: We all know well that little creature living inside our heads. He (or she) is bossing us around—telling us what to do, how to think and act—even what to feel. Our inner bullies can be bigger and more powerful than our true inner selves, so we need to learn to tune out and stop listening.
  • Solution: Take it one step further. Don’t only “tune out” the bully; counteract him. Who might be the superhero to that Negative Nancy voice? How about Positive Peter? What might Positive Peter have to say? When we consider that these Inner Bullies are NOT us, and that we can separate ourselves from them, we gain back control over our own lives.

4. Caring About What Other People Think

  • Issue:  It can be difficult not to care about what others think of us. However, sometimes we let their opinions dictate how we are supposed to be. No more please! It is useful to seek advice and ask for opinions, but deep down, we need to follow our own inner compass.
  • Solution:  Repeat after me: What other people think of me is NONE OF MY BUSINESS. Right? Caring about what other people think of you is self-centered. And being self-centered is not a good feature. Be of service to others and soon this Fear of What Others Think will melt away.

5. Self-Destructive Habits

  • Issue:  We are sabotaging our true self with self-destructive habits every day. Think about the many times you doubt about yourself, of what you are capable of or worth. Or the times you pleased others and put everyone’s needs before your own. This is another no – no! Recognizing your own self-destructive behaviors is the first step to stopping them and the key to elevating your success in both business and your personal life.
  • Solution:  Doubting, considering yourself unworthy, and putting yourself last are all symptoms of lack. It’s the lack of self love. Self love is critical. It’s interesting how people who don’t love themselves are often self-centered (they are trying to seek others’ approval). When you truly love yourself, it does not matter what others think. You give of the overflow and act in service. What can you do to love yourself? Do what lights you up. This could be going for a walk every day, reading a book, meditating, seeing a movie with a friend. Treat yourself exquisitely so you can be your best self for everyone else.

Summary:

There are many things we do every day which prevent us from living authentically and becoming our truest selves. When we are aware of the harmful things we do to sabotage our own personal growth, we can begin to address them, one by one, and replace these soul sucking thoughts and habits with new, empowering ones.

When we move closer to our true selves, we find that sense of fulfilment we seek. Becoming our true selves creates mutual respect, admiration and honesty within our lives. And this leads us to reach our goals. If you want to move up the corporate ladder, gain more respect at home or at work, or become the leader in your field, you’ll want to stay tuned for the next blog.

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Productivity productivity in the workplace Time strategies vacation Wellness

The sublime art of slowing down

Last week we discussed the benefits of a summer vacation. But what about when you don’t want to work AT ALL in summer? What about when you have children and you are trying to also run a company? Scroll to the bottom to address this tricky issue.

First, let’s address the real benefits of slowing down. Why does this work so well when we are addressing productivity?

Slowing down gives space to our subconscious, letting our intuition come to conclusions in a less logical way.  Letting our creativity flow is a big step towards being more productive, after all, we are human beings, not robots.  Our productivity doesn’t depend on speed and efficiency, it depends on our creativity, intuition and innovation, and these things need space to flourish.  Nothing shuts down inspiration faster than forcing it.  Yup, it’s counterintuitive.

Creativity is everything.  Many jobs can be exported, and have been, to people who can work for far lower pay than us.  The only thing that truly sets you apart is your creativity and innovation.  Creativity stems from connections between disparate ideas, but unless you have explored a variety of experiences, you will not have anything to draw from.  Going on vacation or simply taking some time off work provides a wealth of novelty to spur creativity.

When we slow down and give ourselves time to think, we notice the difference between getting things done and getting the RIGHT things done (and doing them well).

“It’s only when we start asking ourselves questions like “what am I actually doing here?”, that thinking time starts to feel productive”

The human body and mind need breaks and vacations to provide rest and benefits that have a much greater influence on success and happiness than clocking in overtime at work. Overworking yourself isn’t going to make you more likely to succeed.  If anything, it may make you resent your work, lower its quality, and negatively impact your happiness.

OK, so, maybe it’s your situation that you are an entrepreneur with kids home for the summer. Yikes, what do you do?

This is not easy! Camp is expensive. Running kids around or trying to work with loud and needy kids in your home is far worse though.  You may be thinking “I’ll just take the summer off.”

Here are some items to consider:

  1. Can you afford to take the summer “off”? Do you need the cash flow? If you stop working, how will this affect your workflow/cash flow in the fall?
  2. Get real. Even if you take 4 weeks off of the 8-10 weeks, doing so purposefully is a much better strategy.

I work all summer.  I also take vacation.  As my children grow, their needs change.  Being real about what you expect is critical – boundaries come into play here.  Our children love to push our boundaries, and we don’t do what we “should” do.  We do what we value.

This is tricky! We will talk more about this in our July Lunchtime Love.   Also feel free to email me at Carol@eps-time.com to untangle the web of conflicting voices in your head….

Be amazing, be bold, rest well!

Carol

 

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Productivity Time strategies vacation Wellness

Be strategic this summer, but not in the way you might be thinking

Summer. Beach and a book. Or is it?

I live in the Northeast. It’s “bad sledding” time right about now (you think I am kidding? Seriously, we had snow a lot in April….)

This article focuses on Strategic Summer. What’s that? Well, here’s what I find. When we are working and it’s 80 degrees and gorgeous out, we want to be outside. We are dreaming about vacations.  We are NOT being productive.  Counter this with being on vacation, phone and laptop in tow. Are we really on vacation? Ummm, nope. We are being in ambivalence. We have one leg on either side of the fence. And you know what? If you fall down, that HURTS! Ouch!

So, the message is: (1) be present and (2) slow down to speed up. How?

When you do not use your vacation time (or as an entrepreneur, your “time off” includes only sick time, running around your family time, continuing education time, etc. and not “what lights you up” time), you are not allowing your mind to recharge.  How does a worn down battery operate? Our minds are not that different. We are NOT machines.

I have a challenge for you.

After you find your week of vacation, add 2 long weekends.  Make them a stretch; something you said you would do “someday.”

Ready?

Go! And get ready to watch your productivity climb like crazy!

Rest well and be productive.

Carol

Categories
Get Organized More time in my day procrastination Time strategies

It’s a kind of magic – How to free yourself from the time trap and make time expand

Oh, if only we had a Time Magic Wand. Wouldn’t it be nice to call our personal Fairy Godmother (or father) every time we can’t accomplish something on time?

In my previous post, I wrote about the chronic lack of time we all seem to complain about. I invited you to shift the perspective from time in terms of quantity – HOW MUCH more time we need – to time in terms of quality – what we can actually DO in the time we already HAVE.

In this fast-pacing world, we can easily become overwhelmed with “to-do” lists of tasks that drain out the best of us. This constant feeling of being overwhelmed, of not being capable to cope with many tasks or situations at one time, leads to chronic stress and fatigue. We feel like we cannot take a break, cannot go outside at lunch, etc. The truth is that these practices will actually increase your productivity.

So, let’s take back control of our work-life. Not with magic (or not Fairy Godmother kind of magic at least) but with some sound techniques that, when applied in the right way, can certainly give us the feeling that our time has actually expanded. (Note, our time will not have expanded. Our brains will relax into doing Our Great Work.)

1. Value your time- treat it as currency
Ask yourself this. Would you give out money to everyone who asks, just because they asked for it?
In order to start giving our time the value it deserves, we must take a step back and look at the existing state of our day. What’s happening now? Awareness is key. Acceptance is next. If we have a daily routine, great. The next step is to identify the activities that are of highest value toward our stated goal. When we allow others to dictate our schedule, we feel out of control, responsive, and exhausted. A related concept is fulfilment. The more you can find fulfilment in what you do, the more you can contribute to the world by being who you are and living with purpose. I once participated as a speaker in a retreat and we created Fulfilment Jars. Each person added rocks to his or her jar when he or she created more fulfilment in his/her work life. It was empowering.

2. Use your time wisely
What is the key to making the most of your time? Have a clear set of priorities and work towards reaching your goals. It’s a good idea to break down your top priorities in a written set of smaller goals. This is an example:
Priority – spend more quality time with my family

  • Goals:
    – Finish work every day at 5.30pm
    – Spend 1 night out with all the family every week
    – Etc.

Constantly review your goals, then make them a part of a good written plan. With your plan in hand, try to separate the majors from the minors, the really important things from the things that you just have to do. And prioritize. A little thought will save you a lot of time. A little accountability and a series of micro steps toward the goal will work wonders, too.

3. Stop making excuses
Just stop it! This step had me thinking about a really funny video

Some people are just late. They are always trying to squeeze in one more thing. They like to play beat the clock. They don’t want to get stuck waiting for a start time. And, heck, they are busy and important, right? Well ….

What’s true is that being late erodes confidence and trust. So, if this sounds familiar, try flipping the mindset to “I can read 10 minutes of that e-book if I am 10 minutes early.” (hint: these are strategic priorities!)

An excuse should be a warning sign that our priorities are not in alignment with our values. Tell that to Doctor Bob in the video.

4. Focus on the present
Be present. That’s Deepak Chopra, right? And that’s awesome. Another gift of the present is the incremental steps of the present moment as a way to the strategic vision of the future. Bit. By. Bit.

5. Don’t procrastinate
Procrastination kills creativity, it kills motivation, and it will do nothing but wear you out. See another article of mine for more info. When you procrastinate about something, you avoid doing it because you find it unpleasant. But, WHY do you find it unpleasant? What are your expectations and how can you change them to re-motivate yourself? A good way to re-motivate yourself is asking why something is important (relate it to your larger mission). Visualize yourself in your success. Cool, you are doing this for a reason! Remember – you are in control!

One of the keys to effective time management is just staying in charge. It’s important in running a business, and a life. If you don’t stay on top of things, the business will run you before long. You have to stop every once in a while, and say,

“Wait! Who’s in charge here?”

YOU ARE!!! Success is the constant process of working toward your goals, little achievement by little achievement. Little achievements can produce big results, and anything is possible in those 24 hours we’re given each day.

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Get Organized More time in my day Time strategies

The Time Trap – why are we all captured in the idea of not having enough time?

“Tick, tock, tick tock, merrily sings the clock” … says an old nursery rhyme about time.

Time – oh, such a popular topic of conversation. We are all so much concerned about time, or the lack of it… Together with money, time seems to be what we all complain to never have enough of. Do any of these sound familiar?

“There is never enough time in my day.”
“At the end of my day there are more to-do’s on my list than I started with”
“I wish I had time to exercise”
“I want to work on the strategic stuff but I’m bogged down with emergencies”

“My assistant says “that’s the nature of our work, we can’t plan”

We seem to think that if we had just a little more time… a few more minutes, a few more hours in a day or a couple of extra days… than yes, our life would be perfect. That we could get everything marked off our to-do list, our house would be clean, the kids would be happier, our partner would feel loved and all problems would instantly disappear from the face of the world. At work, we’d get that promotion and walk around all calm, cool, and collected.

Are we REALLY sure about that?? What if we are looking at our chronic lack of time from the wrong perspective?

Why don’t we stop for a minute and start focusing not on how MUCH time we have but on how we spend the time that we DO have! What if the trick is actually do the opposite of what our hectic lifestyle seems to imply?

Tip One: Stop running around trying to do a million things. Instead, slow down and use some of the time we have to understand what is really important.

Implementation technique one: Start with a good night sleep. Sleep makes you feel better, but its importance goes way beyond just boosting your mood or banishing under-eye circles. Adequate sleep is a key part of a healthy and balanced lifestyle. Stress and sleep have a two-way relationship. High stress levels can make sleeping more difficult. They can even lead to sleep disorders. At the same time, getting a good night’s sleep can help reduce the effects of stress. So, go ahead and give yourself the pleasure of a good snooze.

Implementation technique two: Learn to say “No”. If someone asks you for a favor or to take up a commitment, you may feel obligated to say “Yes.” Remember, just because you can do something it does not mean you must do it. Give yourself permission to say “no”. Make yourself and your mental health a priority and work on avoiding guilt after saying “No.” (Hint: When you know your priorities, it’s easy to say YES to those and NO to everything else.)

Tip Two: Know your Why. Take a good look at your life. What are the things that make you happy? What are your biggest time-wasters? Make a list of your priorities and take practical actions to make sure you have time to dedicate to them. We will go into more detail in the next blog.

The bad news is time flies – the good news is you are the pilot.

Categories
Time strategies Wellness

How to achieve great results using your inner power

Change is scary. It is. No one likes to stand on the edge, assessing the major drop-off between where we are right now and what direction we are supposed to go next. However, change is good – and it is happening anyway, whether you like it or not.

Now that you’ve worked on growing your inner strength, it’s time to embrace change and use it to get outer results.

What is the one thing in your life that will make you give up everything else? No vague statements like ‘I want to do something meaningful’ or ‘I want to make a difference’. Drill down until you clarify what life (or professional) goals are really important for you – where do you want to be in 5 years’ time? Are these any loose ends you want to cut? Is there anything you’ve always dreamed of doing but never had the courage to really try?

If you don’t know where to start, maybe you can try to implement these six core actions.

  1. Define your path to get results

Make a specific, measurable, realistic, and time-bound list of everything you want to achieve, either in your personal or professional life. Keep it short, ideally 5-6 things that are the most important for you. Set small goals each day in order to achieve them. If you break things down and work towards them little by little you will not allow yourself to think “it’s too much, I can’t do it”.

  1. Protect your boundaries

Once you know what you want, you have to be strong enough to protect your boundaries, respect your priorities, and make sure you understand what compromises you may need to accept to succeed and grow.

  1. Commit yourself 110%

Commit yourself to achieve the results you want without doubt or reservation. This doesn’t mean that you should continue on your course blindly, crashing into the rocks without modifying your course.  Work hard and give everything you have, but at the same time remain flexible and avoid overly attaching to one particular vision or outcome. Don’t hide your head in the sand. Instead, work to fill the gaps in your knowledge and ability.

  1. Master powerful communication

You know the “why” behind what you are doing, so now create a captivating story. Speak about your visions and accomplishments in an engaging way that excites people to help and work alongside you without putting them off.

  1. Nurture empowered relationships

No person is an island. You can’t achieve your goals alone, so invest time and energy in building two-way beneficial relationships, solid bonds and energizing partnerships that will last over time. If you build your relationships on trust, honesty and integrity, it is more likely that you will develop an empowering, engaged community that paves the way for success.

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