Author: Carol Williams

Categories
Wellness

Yes, we can! 5 ways to grow our inner strength.

Many people concentrate most of their time on their outer growth. They work hard to be recognized for their achievements. They progress in their career and reach a status thinking that they will finally feel fulfilled and achieve a sense of accomplishment. Sometimes they call this happiness.

The problem is that life is full of issues – stress, losses, vulnerabilities, pain. Some are out there in the world, such as financial concerns, relationship problems, losing a job. Others are physical like injuries or illnesses. And some others reside in our minds – anxiety, depression, low self-esteem. To complicate things, sometimes it happens than more than one issue comes at the same time (oh, joy!). One time, I talked to a man who needed a little help decluttering his overwhelmed mind. I suggested that he prioritize his life in terms of what he valued. For example, in my life, my top 3 values are: 1. My health 2. My kids 3. My work. He said that everything was all jumbled in his mind. If this is true for you….please talk with me…you might be right on the verge of a breakdown!

What you really need to take back control of your life is a strong inner core. The journey is made by ups and downs. In life, as in business, challenges can become obstacles and opportunities can turn into triumphs. Guess who’s the only constant? YOU. To effectively deal with issues, we need resources. Easy, right? So, your next question is – where do I find these resources? Guess again… Inside of YOU of course!

That’s your inner strength, all the good stuff you have in yourself.

  • Capabilities such as mindfulness, emotional intelligence or resilience;
  • Positive emotions like gratitude, love, self-compassion;
  • Attitudes like openness, confidence or determination;
  • Virtues like, generosity, courage, wisdom.

Let’s do some housekeeping now. Go and find these great qualities you have buried inside yourself, dust them off and let them shine. Here are a few steps you can follow to nurture your inner growth.

  1. Know who you are

Your personality is the foundation of your power, while insecurity can kill your inner strength. Invest some time in understanding who you are, what makes you happy, what is really important for you. Remember, the path to success (or happiness) really depends on the variables we use to describe what ‘success’ (or ‘happiness’) is for us.

  1. Identify your strengths

All of us are born with unique capabilities and skills, and the way to build one’s strength is to focus on these specific skills and work to enhance them further. Give yourself time to recognise the tools you have to direct the life you want to lead.

  1. Take control of your body

Use your body to strengthen your soul. Physical and mental strength work in synergy and feed each other. Follow a balanced diet, sleep 7 hours a night, exercise, dress to make you feel good. If you feel good when you look in the mirror, you will start your day with confidence.

  1. Create a positive circle

Make an effort to be surrounded by positive people, who make you feel good, energized and motivated. Spend time with others who are strong inside, celebrate you and feed positive energy into your life. Limit any time around negative people or energy.

  1. Ask yourself “why”

Whatever you do, do it purposefully. Cultivate the things that make you feel accomplished and fulfilled. Make an effort to do something meaningful so that you feel you make a difference in what you do. When you decide, commit and then act. Being strong requires an efficient use of energies.

Inner growth comes from the knowledge that you have the equipment and tools to handle life’s challenges. Building inner strength is a lifelong task. If done right, not only will it pay off when difficulty arises, it will become a habit, and eventually a part of your identity. Yes, you can!

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Uncategorized

So Tell Me What You Want

“Tell me what you want, what you really, really want”

OK; we all know that song. Right? The Spice Girls sing it!

(ready to dance? Here it is: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fw-QRyQcFH8)

How many times have you been asked your opinion and you answer, “I don’t know”? How does this feel? I’ll bet you may feel a bit lost when answering this way. It feels unsteady; uncertain. Most of us do not like living in the land of ambivalence.

In contrast, when we know what we want, and are able to articulate it, we feel more strong and powerful. It feels satisfying. Even if we are not GETTING what we want in the moment, it feels good to at least know what we want. Because to some degree, simply knowing puts on the path to achieving that desire.

In the last article, we went through 5 steps to getting what you want. This time, I would like to take you through an exercise that Michael Losier uses in his book, Law of Attraction. This was really helpful to me when I was first becoming an entrepreneur in 2009. It’s called “Clarity through Contrast.” When you are really clear about what you do NOT want, this is a very helpful exercise.

Step One

  1. Get out a sheet of paper and draw a vertical line down the center.
  2. List the things you don’t like on the left side of the paper (this should be easy!)
  3. List the things you would like instead (contrasting, line by line, from the left side) onto the right-hand side of the paper.
  4. Create a statement like “I am moving towards/working on/becoming” so the desire does not feel like a falsehood, even though it has not yet manifested, and it is placed in a positive light.

Please note: This exercise is taken from the book: Law of Attraction The Science of Attracting More of What You Want and Less of What You Don’t ISBN 0-9732240-0-2 book available on-line at www.LawofAttractionBook.com Copyright 2003 Michael J Losier

Step Two

Allow it – really make it believable by pointing out to yourself how many people already have it. Remember, you get what you expect.

Step Three

Notice it happening.  Celebrate and be grateful for all the goodness in your life each day.  Notice.  Do this daily.

And…

That’s it! Yes, it is simple. Yet, it is very powerful. Start today and do this each day for 10 days. Then, see what results you find!

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Uncategorized

How to get what you really want. Really.

“You can’t always get, what you want…You can’t always get, what you want…but if you try sometimes…you get what you need….”

OK; we all know that song. Right? “You Can’t Always Get What You Want” is a song by the Rolling Stones on their 1969 album Let It Bleed.

Is it true? Yes and no.

While it’s true that the Universe will provide us what we need, a nudge in the right direction never hurts. Enter “all that goal-setting.” Yet, so many people don’t bother with goals. While many reasons can be offered as to why, it often boils down to one phrase.

We don’t get what we want. We get what we expect.
(no wonder we drop goals!)

Sit with that for a minute. What’s your current dilemma?

Example: Are you an entrepreneur who has way too much to do, is very busy, hates “all things marketing” and simply wants to get on with her work? You say you want to make a good living. But do you truly expect it?

Follow the steps below to finally realize why you continue to try and try, with some success, yet, often feel frustrated and broke. (and yes, there is a way out!)

Maybe you have set goals before. Maybe they have worked. Maybe not. Never mind, today is a new day. You have permission to release whatever has not worked in the past. It’s a new sheet of paper. When you come to this with a fresh outlook, also known as “beginner’s mind,” the possibilities sprout and become more real.

START HERE: ANSWER THESE QUESTIONS. SPEND SOME TIME ON THEM.

  1. What in your life (business, family, relationships, health) do you want to MASTER?
  2. With the answer to number one, ask, so what? One of the strongest motivators is dissatisfaction. Tension drives action.
  3. When you achieve your mastery (the goal you set in #1), how will your life change for the better? What lies beneath? That’s right, go deep. The deeper, the better.
  4. Commit to achieving your goal. No matter what. Believe, that even though you actually have no clue how it will be done, that it will be. You are meant to do this.
  5. Practice. Repeat. Repeat. Practice. Repeat. Repeat. Learn. Repeat. Repeat. (Do you know the 10,000 hour rule? You can master anything by working for 10 years and/or practicing it for 10,000 hours).

Now, I told you I’d mention why you may be feeling frustrated even though you have tried goals before.

We can say we want to lose 10 lbs. But do we expect to do this? We can say we would like to find the perfect partner. Yet we say there are no decent (men/women) out there. We throw excuses (some of them quite believable) in front of us. We sabotage ourselves, and complicate ourselves, and in the process feel pretty sorry for ourselves. And congratulations, we are now “normal.” Since the bulk of the population lives this way, we find comfort in this constant state of discomfort. What are they saying? They are saying,

“I want to change my life but I don’t really believe I can”

Is there a new way to go? Sure. HERE IS YOUR NEW MANTRA.

Expect great things.  Act as if.

Then, expect your life experiences to match your expectations (which are now Great Things).

Onward!

Categories
Get Organized procrastination Productivity

Did she really recommend that I procrastinate?

SOMETIMES PROCRASTINATION IS “GOOD!”

Let’s be real. Do you procrastinate?

If “yes” then welcome to Being Human. There is NOTHING wrong with you. (Can I stop reading now?) Procrastination is our way of avoiding something unpleasant. Our bodies and minds are saying, NO! My challenge to you is, why is it unpleasant? This question equals, “why am I procrastinating?”

Ask yourself:

  1. What is your expectation?
  2. How did you establish said expectation? Did it come from childhood? Teachers? Supervisors?
  3. What might happen if this expectation did not exist? That you CHANGE it to another one?

Example of expectation:
I must spend every moment of my workday being productive.  I cannot afford to take a lunch – that’s for lazy people.  I’m productive, busy, professional, and irreplaceable…I need to keep my game face on.

Example of changing this expectation:
I am important in my company.  I empower others and lead by example.  I know that taking frequent breaks clears my mind and allows me to do my best work.

When you change unrealistic expectations, you honor yourself more. When you honor yourself more, you are far less likely to be distracted, and to procrastinate.

And now, on to the Productivity Success Plan.

Last time, we dove into the first step in this plan. Step One was to identify what procrastination looks like for YOU (in other words, when you procrastinate what are you actually DOING?)

Step Two: The Procrastination Rescue Ritual
OK, so now you realize you are procrastinating. How do you Get Out of Procrastination-ville right away? Start your own Procrastination Rescue Ritual!

What’s a Procrastination Rescue Ritual?

This is a SIMPLE WAY to get you back on track. It’s so easy to get off track, right? So, first, NOTICE, and then, come up with a Really Simple Ritual so you can do it and you start actually getting stuff done!

Here are your 3 steps:

  1. Check in
  2. Center Yourself
  3. Re-motivate

Sound simple? Too simple? Yes, it’s simple…and simple WORKS.

Here’s what this might look like:

  1. You sit down at your computer. You check Facebook for work posts. The next thing you know, you see a sponsored ad for something cool, or you sister posted fun vacation photos. **YOU NOTICE***
  2. Yikes! Am I procrastinating (yes) (ask why? See above, too boring of a task, too long of a time allocated, what is it?)
  3. Procrastination Rescue Ritual time:
    • Check In: What do I need right now? A cup of tea and headphones? A quick walk? Shut down all my browser windows?
    • Center Yourself: Breathe. Do a mini meditation.
    • Re-motivate: Ask yourself, why is this important (relate it to your larger mission). Visualize yourself in your success. Cool, you are doing this!

STEP THREE.
Once you’ve rescued yourself, it’s time to Move into the Now. Ask yourself three essential questions to maximize your time and energy (we will do this 3/5)

And here’s a preview of the next 3 steps!

STEP FOUR
Removing Distractions

STEP FIVE
What needs to change?

STEP SIX
Celebrate!

Plus…here’s a BONUS TIP!

Sometimes thinking about the task is much bigger than actually doing it. Right? Go on, just start…something.

Categories
Get Organized More time in my day procrastination productivity in the workplace Time strategies

Why Procrastination feels so good, hurts us so much, and how to outsmart our brain

I love to procrastinate. It feels so good. Wait, what?

It does! I like to have fun you know; I’m not “all business”.  While I love my work, I love fun even more. So, when I don’t really wish to “dive in” to a project, I get really busy doing things I can check off my list. Does this sound familiar? And yes, this is a form of procrastination.

Are you interested in what you might be doing to procrastinate, where you might honor it, and where you might tweak it, SO THAT you may become your Best Self? If yes, read on.

FIRST, ASK YOURSELF THESE QUESTIONS:

Do you:

  • Pretend to work while playing computer games or watching shows, thus making the work take hours because you keep getting sucked into the game or show or YouTube or Facebook?
  • Start to work on something, then remember something else that’s more urgent, dropping that midway to hop onto something else… only to finally return to the first task a couple hours later, exhausted, and just call it a day?
  • Clean up things that don’t really need to be cleaned up (like the tabs on your browser) to avoid doing what REALLY needs to be done (hint: you don’t like it, could be bookkeeping, could be “real” filing…what’s on your “I hate this” list?)

Do you wish you could:

  • Spend several hours of guilt-free quality time with your partner or friends every day (because all those projects you used to procrastinate on are no longer hanging over your head)?
  • Get into a daily rhythm that keeps you well-rested, happy, and doing your very best work?
  • Follow through with your goals consistently, making solid progress without always having to battle procrastination?

>>>Well, wish no more. We’re going to dive deep on March 5th into the Productivity Success Plan<<<

In the meantime, here are some first steps to get you started NOW.

Productivity Success Plan: Beat Procrastination, Step by Step.

STEP ONE. Identify how YOU procrastinate.
Go ahead, list out some scenarios…what does procrastination look like for YOU?
1.
2.
3.

HINT – identity what IS and what IS NOT ‘procrastination’.

What is procrastination, anyhow? Before we can determine how Ugly it is, or how Wonderful it is, let’s determine WHAT it is.

Here’s what it’s NOT!

– Big thinking time: If you are thinking big, I would not call this procrastination. If you are thinking big during the time where every moment counts, with a looming deadline that you are putting off, that’s procrastination.
– Scheduled downtime: Are you 100% productive and billable during 100% of your day? NO. You’re not a machine. And, even your machines need scheduled downtime (or they take the unscheduled downtime…right?)
– Energy-based downtime: When we pay really amazing attention to our most productive times of the day, and how long we can stay productive during those times, we are working WITH our bodies (not against them). So is this procrastinating? I say no.

STEP TWO.
OK, so now you realize you are procrastinating. How do you Get Out right away? Start your own Procrastination Rescue Ritual (more on that coming).

STEP THREE.
Once you’ve rescued yourself, it’s time to Move into the Now. Ask yourself three essential questions to maximize your time and energy (we will do this 3/5).

 

And here’s a preview of the next 3 steps; more will be coming in future articles and on our call 3/5/18:

STEP FOUR
Removing Distractions

STEP FIVE
What needs to change?

STEP SIX
Celebrate!

Yes, some procrastination is good…more on that next time. In the meantime, just start on step one and watch your productivity skyrocket!

Categories
Get Organized prioritize Productivity Time strategies

Success = When a plan meets an opportunity

In December, those of you who were on the Lunchtime Love Group Coaching call decided to dream, plan, and Kickstart 2018. There was talk of vision boards and planning. In January, we overcame our obstacles.

Now, as we move through the first quarter of 2018 in full swing, we have our game face on. We are ready, we are headlong into the New Year, with new clients, and new opportunities! Right? If this is you, you may have wanted this “yesterday”- and are feeling a little impatient if it is not “quite happening yet.” Perhaps that impatience has led to not completely planning; kind of “winging it” and trying “lots of stuff.” Maybe you are busy listening to a lot of webinars, and reading a lot of things from “gurus” to help you succeed. Maybe.

I have lots of experience with this, and it’s not all pretty. For years, there I was, the Queen Of Productivity, doing lots of things and not getting very far. I was having fun, I was “organized enough” and I had clients. But I was totally missing the Real Boat…which is the boat to Success on My Terms. I’d love to share with you how I turned my boat around and how you can do the same, if this resonates with you. We can do a deeper dive into ensuring your success at our complimentary Lunchtime Love Group Coaching on Monday February 5, at high noon Eastern time.

What changed for me and how can it help you?

There were two main shifts for me to reach what I consider success.

First:

I focused. Before 2015, I was doing so many things. I was organizing. I was speaking. I was giving workshops. I was doing webinars. I was teaching. I was coaching. I was Evernote Consulting. I was even a contracted rental coordinator! Wow! Imagine the cash I was bringing in. Right? Wrong. I was spread too thin, and, as a single mother, I had a crazy amount of guilt around leaving my kids alone for too long, so I worked less, oh my goodness…not pretty. I felt like a failure when I looked at my bank account with bleary eyes from the exhaustion. At the end of 2015 I decided to focus on coaching. Each year since then I have watched my available free time increase, my income increase, and my sanity and peace of mind return.

 

Second:

I learned and implemented a system. While I did have a system(s), they were not as cohesive or comprehensive as they needed to be for my own success. I was the proverbial “shoemaker without good shoes.”  I invested in a “back end office system” called the Coaches’ Console. Since I decided to focus on coaching (it was either that or get a job), I decided I’d better invest and get serious. It was hands-down the best move I have ever made. It took a while! I had to get trained in the system and un-do some stuff and re-do some stuff. That was not so easy. I had to say NO to the “fun stuff” on the weekends (the was really hard for me since I love fun) so I could say YES to being financially successful, as I learned and practiced my new system.

One of the owners of the Coaches’ Console, Melinda Cohan, has a saying that goes like this. “When preparedness meets opportunity, success is inevitable.” I might have that phrase “slightly wrong” but the intent is there. We must be ready for success (being prepared). Then, we must take the steps to be successful (noticing/harnessing the opportunity). If we skip either of those, we will not find the success we deserve, and we will start telling ourselves how undeserving we are…and…well, let’s not “go there”.

Instead, let’s discuss the steps to take, to insure your success in the new year; being prepared for your success.

  • Step One: Determine what “success” looks like for you. Dare to dream, then quantify it. Get specific. (For me, this was the Focus)
  • Step Two: Inventory. What’s working? What isn’t? What are the gaps? (For me this was also the Focus)
  • Step Three: Invest. Where do you need to invest? Do you need software, hardware, staff? Education? More hours available to work (if you are working less than 40 hrs. per week)? (For me, this was my Coaches’ Console back end office system)
  • Step Four: Identify milestones. Measure. (The nice part about my system is it helps me Measure)
  • Step Five: Hold yourself accountable. Join a mastermind. Hire a coach who is works in your industry and/or with your specific challenge to achieve the maximum possible results in the shortest amount of time. (I have both of these and they are super helpful! We cannot do it alone!)
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