Author: Carol Williams

Love really does have magical powers

How does LOVE relate to procrastination, mining for your unique gifts and talents, and “getting out there?”

Love is the theme of this month for me – and not just for me.  As it’s the month of Valentine’s Day, I’m talking about loving yourself, loving your business, loving your vocation and really loving the people that you are around. When you do that, you fill your cup and then you then give of the overflow of love, and you become a vessel of love. That’s a lot of love and it works! 

Love and Procrastination

Are you procrastinating on “that thing?”  You want to do it, but for some reason it remains undone? That sticky note is still stuck on your computer; it’s never getting off your list. The answer to “why” it’s not happening may surprise you.  Many times it’s perfectionism or kind of a false pride. I was working with a client who had a sticky note about going into a website portal to check on one of his loved ones. This person wanted to go in the portal, but he was unclear of the “how.” Behind that lack of clarity was this, ‘I don’t want to ask for help’ behind it, this false pride. The result was procrastination. So if you’ve ever experienced procrastination like this, please take heed. What we need to do is we want to trick our minds into recognizing that asking for help will help the person helping you, and help you to get traction along the way! Releasing any Should or Shame or Pride is an act of self-love. 

Love and Becoming Visible

If you are an entrepreneur, you must “be visible” – it’s the first step in building authority. However, it’s easy to procrastinate, hide, and get distracted…so you don’t quite “get out there” the way you know you “should.”

TRY THIS EXERCISE: Think about one of your clients, or perhaps somebody that knows you really well, and ask yourself: what they would say about you?  What makes your gifts so special- that they probably don’t get from almost anybody else? That is your superpower. 

We often do not see these things in ourselves; not the way others see us. And because we don’t see it, because it’s our normal, we don’t pay any mind to it. The superpower just goes “unsaid”. And because it goes unsaid, we don’t pour more love into it and we don’t radiate it. When we don’t radiate our superpower, we sweep our gifts under the rug. We stay small, and underestimate ourselves. Then we wonder why we don’t succeed.

“What quality would your loved ones say that you have that’s unique and really special” is a really important question to answer. The answer will help you with other procrastination. For example, I have a client who is struggling with ‘getting out there’, getting out  in front of an audience, even though she is incredibly talented at her craft. There’s a lot of negative voices that tend to stop her in her tracks.  Her solution? 

She said, “I’m going to go out there and I’m going to pretend that I’m going on this amazing date, this date that’s going to change the rest of my life.  A date where potentially I meet my new love and we have the life of our dreams, and I’m going to take that kind of date energy, and I’m going to bring it into my business.” 

Wow! What a mind flip! 

That returns us to the theme of loving up your business, loving up yourself, loving up your vocation, giving to yourself, and recognizing your superpowers. From that energy that she would then take to be out in the world from there, she’s going to present her superpowers, which in her case is what she calls ‘drunk on beauty!’  She sees, she photographs and she sees beautiful things everywhere and that’s her superpower. She sees beauty in people, and she sees beauty in landscapes, and she’s drunk on beauty (probably why I like her so much, and probably why we get along so well). 

Love, Procrastination, and Getting out there…the answer from me is, like so many times, is to really dig deep. One final tip…a script. Next time you’re talking to a client, just say, 

“Hey, I know this sounds crazy, but what do you see in me that is of particular value? Because I follow Carol Williams, and she says I’m supposed to ask, I feel so silly asking, but would you mind just telling me?” 

You’ll then learn something, and that exchange in and of itself helps the love flow. And when we have love flowing only good things come. 

So thank you very much. Go forth, do good work.

In love, visibility, and awesomeness,

Coach Carol

PS: Comment below: What do you believe your superpower to be, and how are you going to use it this week?

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February…the month of Love. Yes, it’s the Hallmark holiday month: Valentine’s Day. Regardless of what you think of Hallmark (I don’t think much of Hallmark) I DO love “love”. How does love relate to you, your productivity, and stepping into your best self, and loving your whole self, including loving up your business self?

To quote Louise Hay, “Remember, you have been criticizing yourself for years and it hasn’t worked. Try approving of yourself and see what happens.”  When we approve of ourselves, we now love ourselves. How might this relate to procrastination and getting things done?

I was working with a client who had been trying to get her business off the ground for a long while, and she knew she could do it, but those negative voices, those critical ones, just wouldn’t quit. When she tried out some time management strategies, they seemed to not really work. For example, time blocking is one of the methods that I suggest people try when they manage their time.  Time blocking means that you say, “I’m going to spend a couple of hours working on this particular task during that time”. Sounds simple and easy, right?

Continue reading, or watch the video below

It is…except…for those voices. And lots of other issues. For example, if we’re not sure “what” we’re doing, or perhaps how to approach it, procrastination takes hold. Maybe the task/project is  something new, so getting traction is hard, and getting distracted is really easy. And what of those negative voices saying “you don’t know what you’re doing. Why don’t you go do something productive?” Or maybe your kids really need you or…..well, you get the picture. This happens, and the towel gets thrown in. You may then ascertain that those “you will never manage your time” voices are right, after all.

Self-love is the answer.  When it gets extreme, I pull out “extreme self care.”

I implemented Extreme Self Care in February 2017 (when I first started Wisdom Warriors), a lot of CHAOS was going on in my life with regard to my boys (I did talk about that in Wisdom Warriors, let me know if you want the recording as it’s a pretty good story).  I was in a kind of inertia, and those voices… “I’ll never make it”, “I’ll never be able to succeed in my business”, “I’ll never be able to succeed in life given everything going on”, no matter how I time block were screaming relentlessly. I could not see a way out, so I started  ‘extreme self-love’, and that might also be called ‘radical self-acceptance’. 

We must do what Louise Hay says: stop criticizing ourselves and start accepting ourselves. However, I recommend you don’t just go to ‘acceptance’. Go to is extreme self-love, and extreme self-care. How I got myself out of my funk back in 2017 is this. I asked myself,, “what is the most kind and beautiful thing I could do for myself right now?” I had almost no money, so it’s not like I was going to go to a big spa day at the Ritz!  Now, if you wanna go to a big spa day at the Ritz and you have the resources to do it, I think you should, if that’s what you want to do. However, if you don’t, you get to decide what would work for you – it could be a warm bath, or it could be no longer buying potato chips and wine to drown out your sorrows. It can be taking yourself out for a latte. It can be saying “I’m just going to do one hour on this business strategy – I don’t know if it’s going to work or not, but I’m going to try it and it’s okay if it doesn’t work” – that too can be extreme self-love. It could be dancing! Whatever it is for you, simply do it. Don’t overthink it!

No negative voices? Great! Let’s go to your New Year Goals. We are six or so weeks into 2023. Where are you with your goals?

• If you are on track, go love yourself and reward yourself.
• If you are stuck, ask your ‘child within’ what he or she needs. Honor that.
• If you were your best friend, what might you say to yourself?

I’d love for you to let me know what you will do for extreme self-love, extreme self-care and radical self-acceptance here in the month of February. Hit reply and let me know!

What is “managing your time like a zen master”?

If you are hearing yourself saying, “I’ve got so much coming in at me”, “I just want to manage my time so I can get more done in less time, get the things I want to get done”, I just want to move ahead in my goals”, “… move ahead in my business” then this is for YOU!

Often, the secret to “time management” is secretly embedded in that which you  hadn’t thought about, or “some behind the scenes” mindset experiences that are driving your decision and that are stopping you in your tracks (hidden in your subconscious) when it comes down to really managing your time.

With that in mind, here are 3 tips to become more ZEN and less FRANTIC. And yes, using this will absolutely help you manage your time better. Like a zen master, even!

You can read on, or watch the video

1. Question “why am I managing your time?” 

You may think you know why, but this is why to ask again.  This question is the most important. It’s the beginning of my ‘five step process’- where we decide what we want and then we really go deep and discern – and we discern what we truly have for a purpose. What do we want? What do we not want? And why? 

When we can go really super deep we can know what we want, what we don’t want – and EASILY make the decisions, which is really step one.  We have big decisions to make, and then we have all these micro-decisions to make. It’s the micro-decisions that often trip us up. 

For example, maybe you have some subcontractors who are scheduled to do a project, and then somebody gets sick, and now you have to shift things in your business or in your life so that you no longer have the time you thought you had before. 

Ugh! You may think. Foiled again! Right? Well….there’s a moment of pause that needs to happen there. And when there’s that moment of pause,  we can make that decision around managing our time based on our priorities, based on not only what we want for our business with the subcontractors, but also to what we want in our lives. That pause that says,  “I am in charge, selfishly, of my life, which is really self-love, and my business and my time”. 

That’s number one – why you are doing this to start with and have all of your actions really being lining up to that bigger, deeper purpose? And…you can’t do that if you haven’t decided what your bigger, deeper purpose is.

2. Every decision that you make, ideally, must come from the inside-out, not from the outside-in. What does this mean?  Access your inner wisdom (your gut instinct.) For example, perhaps you are  deciding whether to attend an event when there is a high covid level around.  

People have different values regarding this, and let’s just say you’re deciding to attend an event that has potentially a high, high covid level. So you do. Now, what do you do after that event? Do you keep yourself isolated for a time before you go out again? This may or may not be relevant to you, but whatever your inner spirit says, whatever your inner guides say that is right for you, that’s what to do.

So many people that I work with aren’t very familiar or very trusting of their inner guide – but that inner voice is your inner knowing.  That voice, I believe, is the Divine. So when you listen to that inner voice, you literally can’t go wrong. If you are doubting the validity of this, I challenge you to look back and say, “All right, when I listen to my inner voice, what happened?” Listening to your inner voice is the secret sauce to “zen time management.”

3. Believe in magic and miracles. I’ve been called the coach of magic and I’ve been called the coach of miracles, but it’s not just me. There’s a man named Rich Litvin, and he’s a famous worldwide renowned coach and I’m on his email list.  There’s an email that came in today which said that he just went to this magic show and that magic is everywhere. 

It was a wonderful email and it just got me to remember that magic is everywhere and we can literally make our own magic. We can do anything. We are limitless. You may not believe that but I’m here to tell you it’s true. So if you don’t believe it for you, look at me. Look at all the things that I have done. If you’re not sure, go back to other, other videos because I’ve told my story many times.  

Every single day I manifest miracles and I help other people manifest miracles. That’s what I do. So if I can do it, you can do it. It just takes practice. When I first left my crazy ex over 10 years ago, one of the first things I did was I decorated my home with inspirational items and I found this one card  called ‘Now is the right time’. There’s nothing written in this card.  I had all these beautiful little reminders of myself, how powerful I really was, all over my home. This was a way of loving myself and giving myself permission now that I didn’t have chains on me anymore. Now I could really do what I wanted to do and what I was meant to do. And I want that for you as well. 

These three things are part and parcel of managing your time. A calendar is important, and it’s so much more than that.  

What will you do to manage your time better? Of all of the things I just talked about, what resonated most with you and what would you do if you knew you wouldn’t fail? 

I hope to see you on Monday (first Monday of the month at noon time Eastern) for my special sixth edition of Wisdom Warriors (which used to be called Lunchtime Love). We’re going to be talking more about self-love and how that relates to time management and getting to the goals that you don’t think you can attain.

If you’re part of Wisdom Warriors already, you’ll get a reminder of the session, but if not, please come register on my website (unscatterme.com/Wisdom Warrior Group/Register)

It’s completely free, so bring a friend too! 

I will see you then.

It’s the end of January. You’ve started new things. You might be running into a lot of bumps in the road that you don’t see with your eyes. Stuff’s coming in and it’s not as easy as you thought it would be to carry out the changes that you so desperately want. 

There is a much easier way to get these things accomplished than you may imagine. Allow me to introduce a concept to you…. radical self-acceptance.

When you implement the 4 tips below for radical self-acceptance – watch how life just gets easier. (How does this work? Ooooh it’s juicy!) This works BELOW THE SURFACE-  which can be what’s “below the surface of you”, not allowing you to reach your goal or your dream, or New Year Intention.

• Slow down when you hear that judgment. It could sound like ‘What makes you think you’re going to be any different this time?’ ‘You’ve tried this before’, ‘You’re no good at ….’ – so slow down and remember to notice those things because those are simply voices in your head. You are allowed to detach yourself from them.
• Know that something that you call a setback is really just information. Here’s the scenario: we start going towards a new goal to do a new thing that we’ve never done, we end up with a few bumps in the road, we navigate them, but then we get to this place where it really feels like a setback. For example, you were trying to start a new course and trying to fill a room with people but the people all backed out, and you’re like, ‘well, crap! What happens now?’ And you can call that a setback, but can also call it information. And I know that can be a tough concept. Remember, the more you do it, the better it is because then you can then say, ‘okay, hang on. That’s information. What do I do with that information?’ Now YOU are in charge.

Keep reading or watch the video instead

• Stop comparing yourself to other people. Are you hearing yourself say, “ I should be further along?”  ‘You know, I started this time management system and by now I should have done x, y, z and I should be this, and I should be that’. And that’s a comparison. In some cases, it’s comparing yourself not to a PERSON but to your own unrealistic (and often fuzzy and ill defined) standard. In this situation, I recommend you slow down and ask yourself:  ‘hang on, what is going well? What do I have to offer here?’ – and then do that. 
• Lean into the things that you know work. Remembering this is tough – remembering that you are truly in control of your thoughts. While  you are not directly in control of your thoughts that happen in the primitive brain, you are in control of your thoughts that happen in the cerebral cortex, and  in the prefrontal cortex. You can proactively decide, from the “thinking” part of your brain (the cortexes) to now access the primitive part (where all those naysayer voices live.) You can access  the primitive brain with modalities such as  hypnosis, tapping, brain spotting, EDMR, and Havening. Accessing your subconscious, where all these voices actually live, is the key to the kingdom.

And last but not least, I have a bonus tip for you.

Mel Robbins has a great book with a simple and powerful system called the High Five Habit. Every morning you wake up and you high five yourself in the mirror and you feel better about yourself. Nobody’s out there looking at you, nobody’s judging you. Try it!

In conclusion, I would love you to let me know – which of these tips resonated with you the most? What is the one baby step you’re going to take to get back on your road, to do whatever it is you said that you wanted to do this month? I can’t wait to hear it!

Over and out…until next Sunday. And don’t forget, Wisdom Warriors (the free monthly zoom I do where you have a rare chance to be coached by me for completely free!) is Mon FEB 6 from 12 noon to 1pm EST. Sign up HERE if you are not part of the group! 

What lights your fire?

Let me ask you these questions (in full transparency, this came from Michael Bungee Stainer, who I follow regularly): 

• What fills your cup? 
• What lights your fire? 
• What gets your disco ball rolling? 

You’re a disco glitter ball spinning. Let’s start with what do we love to do – like what do we love? Once we determine what we love, what really gets our disco ball spinning, then it’s time to determine how that relates to our 2023 intention. Remember the beginning of this month? I know by now lots of people have already given up their resolutions or are already telling themselves it’s not possible.

I’m here to tell you…”it” absolutely IS POSSIBLE!

 And the secret to getting there is to:

1, Realize that “it” has to be a disco ball. It has to be thrilling. It has to be daunting and a little bit overwhelming. It also has to be important. Being thrilling, I find, is probably the most important thing because you know what? It might not be EASY. You probably guessed that. You may have tried to do something before and said, “well, geez, I can’t get TOO committed to it (that future condition) because if I fail and I’m committed to it, oh my God, now I’m a failure, right?” 

Is that you…saying that inside your head? If so, know that it’s okay. Be gentle with yourself. And, if you allow yourself that “trap door to bail out” those gremlins (the ones who tell you “don’t commit! you might fail!” come in the trap door and they start pulling you in and start saying “See, I told you, you aren’t going to make it. It’s a good thing you left the trap door open, because now you’re safe” But are you safe? Not if you truly wish to make the change you say you want to do…

Getting ourselves to decide to do something different, allowing ourselves to actually do the thing that lights up our glitter disco ball (they do call me Disco Carol, by the way!) is a really big deal because the rest of us are droning around, walking aroun….day in and day out, complaining, doing the same old thing with the same old people, getting the same old results, thinking that there’s no way it could possibly get any better. Because if you stick your neck out, it might fall off, get chopped off, get burned, whatever it is, because we get outside of our comfort zone, right? 

I’m here to dispel the myth that nothing different can happen. In fact, I know that nothing different will happen without you making the decision to do something different. And the only way you’re going to make a decision to do something different is to make sure the thing you want is thrilling, important AND daunting.  I find that of those, the most important part is what lights you up; what makes your soul just absolutely turn on fire. 

Another name I’ve been called is “Cindra -the Goddess of Fire”. Of course, I’m also the Green Goddess of Productivity, love, light, miracles and all that jazz too. But, really…I am fiery. So I want you to borrow my fire. If you’re not feeling real fiery right now, it’s okay. Maybe tomorrow. But when you are ready to light your own fire, please contact me- because the world needs you. The world needs people that light up disco balls and get on fire and do things that nobody has the guts to do. And I am with you on that. 

Let me know one thing that lights you up that you’re a little scared to say out loud (but you’re going to whisper it). 

Happy 2023.

I have a bold question for you today: 

What if the question is not “why am I so infrequently the person I want to be” but rather “why am I so infrequently wanting to be the person I really am?” 

Wow. Now there’s a question. 

Victoria Lebalme, Risk Forward. That’s where that question came from. I’m on her email list. Email lists are a good thing when you belong to cool email lists. (Note, I’ll be starting a Daily Email Option sometime in the next month or so…stay tuned.)

The question about wanting to be the person I really am reminds me of something that came up on Monday in my Kick Off 2023 Right workshop. (yes you can buy the workshop for ¼ of the price – recorded with the workbook too when you follow that link!) When we look ahead, we want to look at goals and things that we don’t have now.

So of course, we considered that, and more importantly, we looked at where and what we want to be as our future self.  During that time, I expressed that that future self is actually just us…unpeeled. 

This quote from Victoria actually says the same thing, and she talks about desire, too. Like “Why do I not want to be me?” There’s lots of reasons for that, and I’d love for you to let me know what’s getting in your way.  What I’ve experienced from the people that I work with is sometimes 

-we don’t even know who we are 

-or what we are, 

-or what we want.

In fact, we don’t even think to “know to want” because we’re so busy out there doing what we need to do, trying to keep everybody else happy, trying to keep up with our commitments, trying not to rock the boat, trying not to muddy the waters, ruin the process, ruffle any feathers, buck the system, etc. WE make sure that everybody else is good, right?

We can be  a martyr, of sorts: falling on the sword. We can be that people pleaser, be that giver and then get resentful. Because the truth is, that’s exhausting. 

I’m here to turn that around with you. And the way to turn that around, the first step, is to go ahead and watch the workshop from Monday 1/9.  It’s the next step, when you’re ready to have real results like this is a great start. When you go through the process with the group, and work through the workbook, you will be set up to receive the same results as they do, as long as you move through it the same way. 

After this step, you’ll want to take action. Is that you? This is your sign. I have one spot left in my Discover Your Greatness through the Productivity Success Cake Process group coaching, doors close tomorrow (Monday) at Midnight Eastern.

It’s one thing to have intentions, and it’s really important to have that deep why. And it’s really important to have that deep understanding. And as important is to take action, because being in action stops that inertia and that inertia is what’s holding us back. 

In fact, I was talking to a person in my community just the other day, and that person was saying “It’s not that I don’t know about this stuff. It’s that when I sit down to do my work, I have a great deal of flexibility. And I have to decide, do I do this task? Do I do that task? Do I do another task? I have piles. I have emails, I have voice messages, I have people coming in, I’m an executive. (You know, it’s not like this person isn’t successful, it’s just there’s so much coming in at this person, and that’s common.) 

If you are heading this and thinking “how is she in my head,” then it’s time, my friend. If not now, when?

One seat left. Just one. I accept a maximum of 8 people, no exceptions.

It’s time to join the group coaching that I am starting on Thursday  January 19.  Doors close for registration at midnight Eastern on Monday so you don’t have a lot of time.

You will work through those kinds of processes that I just described, such as:

“What do I say no to at this very moment so that I can say yes to this priority?”

“How do I prioritize in general?”

“How do I get out of analysis paralysis?”

 I was talking to someone last week, and she wasn’t sure. She was starting to get tangled up in he future.

What if she receives a new job during this group course? What if there is a time conflict?

Answer: we will address this if such a “problem” arises (if it’s the job she wants…it’ll be a GREAT problem to have!)

Analysis paralysis will never get anywhere. What we need to do is:

– dive into our Future You and 

-trust the universe, 

unpeel the stuff that isn’t working for you. 

-Be bold, 

– hold the hands of the other people that are walking this walk with you,

– say ‘no’ to those tasks and those things that are not supporting that vision of that Future You.  

CAUTION

It may sound easy, and the truth is it’s not easy. One woman was in my Discover Your Greatness through the Productivity Success Cake group coaching a couple of years ago had been trying to move for five years out of her current home. 

She had piles of paper, she had ‘stuff’ and she had stopped exercising. She had gained a bunch of weight. She used to be really active and outdoorsy. She wasn’t being “her” anymore. Through the PRODUCTIVITY SUCCESS CAKE  process, she not only started to walk again and started to feel good about herself, but she was able to move!. TODAY SHE LIVES IN A BEAUTIFUL TOWNHOME ON THE OCEAN! 

She was able to declutter -she hadn’t been able to do that in five years. If you can resonate with that (being bogged down by clutter) please consider what might happen by April 30th when you say YES to the group opportunity that expires tomorrow.

Or, perhaps you resonate with strongly desiring to make more money. Another participant (from last year), made more money last year than she had in the last 38 years and it exceeded the income of her long term spouse. THIS HAD LITERALLY *NEVER* HAPPENED in their 38 years of marriage. If you want those results, then you want to consider joining me on the 19th. I have one seat open for the right person.

In closing, please start loving exercise, start giving yourself permission, move house, make more money than your spouse, say ‘no’ to things that don’t serve. You have so much fun. Dance and enjoy, because why wouldn’t you? 

It’s 2023, it’s a new start and there’s a lot of crap going on in the world, and there’s a recession. 

So let’s hold hands. Let’s walk through this together because the people that succeed in that recession see the long view and are consistent. 

I am so excited to be your guide!