It’s the end of January. You’ve started new things. You might be running into a lot of bumps in the road that you don’t see with your eyes. Stuff’s coming in and it’s not as easy as you thought it would be to carry out the changes that you so desperately want.
There is a much easier way to get these things accomplished than you may imagine. Allow me to introduce a concept to you…. radical self-acceptance.
When you implement the 4 tips below for radical self-acceptance – watch how life just gets easier. (How does this work? Ooooh it’s juicy!) This works BELOW THE SURFACE- which can be what’s “below the surface of you”, not allowing you to reach your goal or your dream, or New Year Intention.
- Slow down when you hear that judgment. It could sound like ‘What makes you think you’re going to be any different this time?’ ‘You’ve tried this before’, ‘You’re no good at ….’ – so slow down and remember to notice those things because those are simply voices in your head. You are allowed to detach yourself from them.
- Know that something that you call a setback is really just information. Here’s the scenario: we start going towards a new goal to do a new thing that we’ve never done, we end up with a few bumps in the road, we navigate them, but then we get to this place where it really feels like a setback. For example, you were trying to start a new course and trying to fill a room with people but the people all backed out, and you’re like, ‘well, crap! What happens now?’ And you can call that a setback, but can also call it information. And I know that can be a tough concept. Remember, the more you do it, the better it is because then you can then say, ‘okay, hang on. That’s information. What do I do with that information?’ Now YOU are in charge.
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- Stop comparing yourself to other people. Are you hearing yourself say, “ I should be further along?” ‘You know, I started this time management system and by now I should have done x, y, z and I should be this, and I should be that’. And that’s a comparison. In some cases, it’s comparing yourself not to a PERSON but to your own unrealistic (and often fuzzy and ill defined) standard. In this situation, I recommend you slow down and ask yourself: ‘hang on, what is going well? What do I have to offer here?’ – and then do that.
- Lean into the things that you know work. Remembering this is tough – remembering that you are truly in control of your thoughts. While you are not directly in control of your thoughts that happen in the primitive brain, you are in control of your thoughts that happen in the cerebral cortex, and in the prefrontal cortex. You can proactively decide, from the “thinking” part of your brain (the cortexes) to now access the primitive part (where all those naysayer voices live.) You can access the primitive brain with modalities such as hypnosis, tapping, brain spotting, EDMR, and Havening. Accessing your subconscious, where all these voices actually live, is the key to the kingdom.
And last but not least, I have a bonus tip for you.
Mel Robbins has a great book with a simple and powerful system called the High Five Habit. Every morning you wake up and you high five yourself in the mirror and you feel better about yourself. Nobody’s out there looking at you, nobody’s judging you. Try it!
In conclusion, I would love you to let me know – which of these tips resonated with you the most? What is the one baby step you’re going to take to get back on your road, to do whatever it is you said that you wanted to do this month? I can’t wait to hear it!
Over and out…until next Sunday. And don’t forget, Wisdom Warriors (the free monthly zoom I do where you have a rare chance to be coached by me for completely free!) is Mon FEB 6 from 12 noon to 1pm EST. Sign up HERE if you are not part of the group!