Why bother, when you just keep failing, anyhow?
You set a goal. You watch “stuff” get in the way. You don’t hit the goal. You feel defeated.
Rinse, repeat.
Why bother, right? The “why bother” response certainly makes logical sense. Have you considered what else might be at play with this response, and what you might do to turn this “failure loop” around?
Today I will review 3 three ways that you can get unstuck more quickly. A lot of these sound really easy, and doing them is NOT “really easy all the time”. Before I share them, let’s review the “why bother” question. When we don’t hit our goals, again and again, the psyche feels defeated. We are not at peace with ourselves. To quickly reconcile this, our mind comes up with a logical summary: this does not work, please stop. Then, since our brain is constantly seeking patterns, we prove this pattern. Again, again, and again.
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If our mind did NOT do this, we’d be in cognitive dissonance. That means that what we see for ourselves is not actually what is happening. That’s jarring to the nervous system. So the nervous system course corrects by telling the brain it’s impossible. The brain acts accordingly.
Wow! Is there any hope? Why, yes. Not just HOPE but STRATEGIES. Onward to the 3 Ways!
- Notice if you see one of two F’s or both F’s: Frustration and Failure. A couple of my clients have been expressing that they’re not achieving their goals – and of course, that’s why they’re working with me…lol. It’s quite good that they are NOTICING this…now the next step is to detach from the situation, so that we are able to see what is actually happening.
How do we do this? Notice those 2F’s: the Frustration and the Failure. After that, we can move into “acceptance of ‘what is’ right now.” Wait, what?? What is that? It sounds like this: “ I’m noticing that things are not working so, this is probably an illusion; a workplace productivity illusion. Now it’s my job to figure out what to do; what illusion am I under?” When you detach and ask yourself those curious questions, you will start to break yourself out of that frustration/failure cycle.
- Have more fun. I have a longtime client and his current goal is to “10x his fun”. Woohoo! He discovered this during his time with me and what he determined (among many other breakthroughs that he has had) was that he wasn’t having much fun in his life before and he just kept grinding away. That was getting in the way of achieving his goals. Once he allowed himself to have fun, what happened? It allowed those happy hormones to come in. Next, the ‘law of attraction’ starts to take over, where you want to hang out with people that are fun. We’re going to attract more of what we want. In this headspace, we see opportunities that are already there- that we couldn’t see before when we were in our ‘grinding mode’.
- Surround yourself with people you like and places where you want to be. For example, when I was feeling very stuck in my marriage in 2012 I decided to say ‘yes’ to a trip without my family and this enabled me to really see things from a different perspective. I was able to relax, I was able to journal, I was able to talk to trusted people about this thing that was really troubling me. I had been feeling very, very stuck. It’s important that you surround yourself with people and places. It may not be a trip to the Caribbean, but maybe simply getting out for a walk now that it’s spring.
These 3 strategies: noticing the 2 F’s, having more fun, and surrounding yourself with more of what you desire, will go a long way in getting unstuck. To become unstoppable, and find much more time in your day, be sure to come along to my next Lorman.com webinar. It’s on April 12th and you can save your space, with a 50% discount using this link.
And that’s not all! I’m also having something super special I’m doing in April, but I’m not going to tell you what that is yet. So I want you just to kind of keep your eyes and ears peeled and get excited with me.
Let me know what next move you’re going to make based on this blog – I can’t wait to know what resonated with you the most and what action you’re going to take.