Month: February 2023

Secret struggles and their surprising solutions

It’s a good time to talk about physical clutter because most of us (at least in the Northern Hemisphere), are still by and large in our homes. We’re not spending quite as much time outdoors. So it’s a beautiful time to really take a look around our homes as it gets a little bit brighter and nicer out because we want to make sure that we’re ready to go outdoors; we’re ready to feel free (not guilty) about doing that. It also helps us be more productive and happy in our homes, and in our offices, when we are indoors to really have it be as clutter free as possible. 

Let’s review 3 struggles regarding physical clutter, and the process of decluttering!

1. The first struggle is starting. Sometimes, it’s just so overwhelming!  Let’s say you desire to do some de-cluttering. However, it just feels incredibly overwhelming. Why might that be?  It could be that, if you’ve got a home and the whole thing is in clutter, not just your home office, but really so much of it – so where do you even start? So you find yourself procrastinating. You find yourself being on Facebook and you find yourself going out of your home being “too busy” to do these things. And it’s overwhelming. So that’s number one, how do you get started?

BONUS NOTE:  if you’re keenly self-aware, you may notice a lot of voices in your head saying, ‘why bother?’ Quite likely, comes back to this truth. The voices might say you “are not meant to be organized.” These voices that come into your head are REAL and they may prevent you from getting started. When something is too big, say- a whole house to declutter, make the project SMALLER!

SECOND BONUS NOTE: Don’t try to do everything. DO NOT TRY TO  “Organize everything and figure it all out” first.  You may have this idea that everything has to be all organized and figured out before you just do one little piece. The opposite is most likely true.. In fact, if you just do one little piece, that’s the momentum of starting. The momentum of starting helps you continue and be more motivated to do more. Go ahead and dial your project down into a manageable chunk. Sometimes, the first step must be so small that it feels ridiculous. Even if it’s just a “pavement change”, like a threshold in your mind that you are going over, (moving one piece of paper, for example) it gets you momentum to move two pieces of paper.  I’m running a group right now. We’re calling ourselves the Goldilocks Goal Getters, meaning not too big, not too small, just right!  We err to be smaller on our goals than bigger. Why???  When we have bigger goals, they don’t get done because they become so overwhelming. Small = starting.

2. The second struggle is consistency.  I had a client and she did a declutter of her home office. Then she ended up with a bunch of to-dos, and then that felt overwhelming. She asked, “what do I do first? Now I’ve got all these piles and all these to-dos, but then what do I do with them?” The answer is, again, make it small, one at a time.  So, how does she create consistency? She might choose to spend an hour a day on each of these to-dos. That’s a great beginning.  Then what can happen?  Those darn voices can come in and say “but you’ll never finish it.” KNOWING THAT THE VOICES ARE NOT ‘YOU’ OR ‘TRUE’ IS POWERFUL!

I had a client with a backlog of client actions that needed to be taken, and this person is still super busy with the work that they’re doing day in and day out. So to get through that backlog a little bit at a time almost seems like throwing stones in the tide, and it’s not that way. Let’s use a beach metaphor. You’ve got the whole beach and you’ve got the tide, but maybe there’s a little pool right where the tide is, the tide has come in and then left some water there, and then it’s gone out a bit. And you get to address just that pool right there, and that pool matters, and that pool feels manageable. That’s how to do it in the short term. Sticking to things in the short term is all about dialing it into a manageable chunk, and then being okay with doing these things. It could be one hour a day, or it could be one day a week on a Saturday, something like that. A big part of this solution is “being okay” with the fact that it’s not going to be all done all at once. Sounds kind of silly perhaps, and I find that  we think it has to get done all at once. That’s ‘all or nothing’ thinking, and ‘all or nothing’ thinking is a great way to guarantee that you will fail.

So,  allow yourself those small steps, those baby steps. Reward yourself along the way, even though you think you shouldn’t get a reward, “because it’s too small of a step”. It’s actually the opposite. Doing the small steps and then rewarding yourself  will actually get you somewhere, and you will start to feel good and gain that momentum. 

3. The third struggle is longer term consistency.  How do you sustain this for the long term? One way is  to enlist external help. You’ll start to believe in yourself with your shorter term consistency, saying for example, “hey, I just cleaned out my ‘command central’ area in my kitchen”.  Many people have their command central in their kitchen – they’ll have mail, their phone, a calendar, etc.  This example  is more of a home organization type, and all systems  bleed together when we’re an entrepreneur. So once that’s  set up, now we can take that success and bring it outside to elicit external support. We can bring in our family members, we can bring in our colleagues, and we can say, “Hey, look, I’ve got this success, now how do I do my next thing … and my next thing … and my next thing?” Before you know it, the whole house (or office, or organization) is dealt with- little bits at a time. Actions every day, every week, every month, and giving yourself those prizes, continuing asking for help, giving yourself bigger prizes and being okay when things do fall apart, because it’s most likely they will…all those are steps for LONG term, consistent success.

CAUTION: That ‘all or nothing’ thinking can return! That thinking that “unless I’m done perfectly and it stays this way forever, I may as well not bother.” So remember, that thinking is  a great way to guarantee failure. 

Now that you know the top 3 struggles and how to overcome them, what will be your next step? Set a goal, for example, first day of spring on Mar 20, 2023 to create one small habit that will create momentum.

Comment below and let me know what that step might be!

Share it in our Unscatterme Community for support.

You are NOT alone!

Love really does have magical powers

How does LOVE relate to procrastination, mining for your unique gifts and talents, and “getting out there?”

Love is the theme of this month for me – and not just for me.  As it’s the month of Valentine’s Day, I’m talking about loving yourself, loving your business, loving your vocation and really loving the people that you are around. When you do that, you fill your cup and then you then give of the overflow of love, and you become a vessel of love. That’s a lot of love and it works! 

Love and Procrastination

Are you procrastinating on “that thing?”  You want to do it, but for some reason it remains undone? That sticky note is still stuck on your computer; it’s never getting off your list. The answer to “why” it’s not happening may surprise you.  Many times it’s perfectionism or kind of a false pride. I was working with a client who had a sticky note about going into a website portal to check on one of his loved ones. This person wanted to go in the portal, but he was unclear of the “how.” Behind that lack of clarity was this, ‘I don’t want to ask for help’ behind it, this false pride. The result was procrastination. So if you’ve ever experienced procrastination like this, please take heed. What we need to do is we want to trick our minds into recognizing that asking for help will help the person helping you, and help you to get traction along the way! Releasing any Should or Shame or Pride is an act of self-love. 

Love and Becoming Visible

If you are an entrepreneur, you must “be visible” – it’s the first step in building authority. However, it’s easy to procrastinate, hide, and get distracted…so you don’t quite “get out there” the way you know you “should.”

TRY THIS EXERCISE: Think about one of your clients, or perhaps somebody that knows you really well, and ask yourself: what they would say about you?  What makes your gifts so special- that they probably don’t get from almost anybody else? That is your superpower. 

We often do not see these things in ourselves; not the way others see us. And because we don’t see it, because it’s our normal, we don’t pay any mind to it. The superpower just goes “unsaid”. And because it goes unsaid, we don’t pour more love into it and we don’t radiate it. When we don’t radiate our superpower, we sweep our gifts under the rug. We stay small, and underestimate ourselves. Then we wonder why we don’t succeed.

“What quality would your loved ones say that you have that’s unique and really special” is a really important question to answer. The answer will help you with other procrastination. For example, I have a client who is struggling with ‘getting out there’, getting out  in front of an audience, even though she is incredibly talented at her craft. There’s a lot of negative voices that tend to stop her in her tracks.  Her solution? 

She said, “I’m going to go out there and I’m going to pretend that I’m going on this amazing date, this date that’s going to change the rest of my life.  A date where potentially I meet my new love and we have the life of our dreams, and I’m going to take that kind of date energy, and I’m going to bring it into my business.” 

Wow! What a mind flip! 

That returns us to the theme of loving up your business, loving up yourself, loving up your vocation, giving to yourself, and recognizing your superpowers. From that energy that she would then take to be out in the world from there, she’s going to present her superpowers, which in her case is what she calls ‘drunk on beauty!’  She sees, she photographs and she sees beautiful things everywhere and that’s her superpower. She sees beauty in people, and she sees beauty in landscapes, and she’s drunk on beauty (probably why I like her so much, and probably why we get along so well). 

Love, Procrastination, and Getting out there…the answer from me is, like so many times, is to really dig deep. One final tip…a script. Next time you’re talking to a client, just say, 

“Hey, I know this sounds crazy, but what do you see in me that is of particular value? Because I follow Carol Williams, and she says I’m supposed to ask, I feel so silly asking, but would you mind just telling me?” 

You’ll then learn something, and that exchange in and of itself helps the love flow. And when we have love flowing only good things come. 

So thank you very much. Go forth, do good work.

In love, visibility, and awesomeness,

Coach Carol

PS: Comment below: What do you believe your superpower to be, and how are you going to use it this week?

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February…the month of Love. Yes, it’s the Hallmark holiday month: Valentine’s Day. Regardless of what you think of Hallmark (I don’t think much of Hallmark) I DO love “love”. How does love relate to you, your productivity, and stepping into your best self, and loving your whole self, including loving up your business self?

To quote Louise Hay, “Remember, you have been criticizing yourself for years and it hasn’t worked. Try approving of yourself and see what happens.”  When we approve of ourselves, we now love ourselves. How might this relate to procrastination and getting things done?

I was working with a client who had been trying to get her business off the ground for a long while, and she knew she could do it, but those negative voices, those critical ones, just wouldn’t quit. When she tried out some time management strategies, they seemed to not really work. For example, time blocking is one of the methods that I suggest people try when they manage their time.  Time blocking means that you say, “I’m going to spend a couple of hours working on this particular task during that time”. Sounds simple and easy, right?

Continue reading, or watch the video below

It is…except…for those voices. And lots of other issues. For example, if we’re not sure “what” we’re doing, or perhaps how to approach it, procrastination takes hold. Maybe the task/project is  something new, so getting traction is hard, and getting distracted is really easy. And what of those negative voices saying “you don’t know what you’re doing. Why don’t you go do something productive?” Or maybe your kids really need you or…..well, you get the picture. This happens, and the towel gets thrown in. You may then ascertain that those “you will never manage your time” voices are right, after all.

Self-love is the answer.  When it gets extreme, I pull out “extreme self care.”

I implemented Extreme Self Care in February 2017 (when I first started Wisdom Warriors), a lot of CHAOS was going on in my life with regard to my boys (I did talk about that in Wisdom Warriors, let me know if you want the recording as it’s a pretty good story).  I was in a kind of inertia, and those voices… “I’ll never make it”, “I’ll never be able to succeed in my business”, “I’ll never be able to succeed in life given everything going on”, no matter how I time block were screaming relentlessly. I could not see a way out, so I started  ‘extreme self-love’, and that might also be called ‘radical self-acceptance’. 

We must do what Louise Hay says: stop criticizing ourselves and start accepting ourselves. However, I recommend you don’t just go to ‘acceptance’. Go to is extreme self-love, and extreme self-care. How I got myself out of my funk back in 2017 is this. I asked myself,, “what is the most kind and beautiful thing I could do for myself right now?” I had almost no money, so it’s not like I was going to go to a big spa day at the Ritz!  Now, if you wanna go to a big spa day at the Ritz and you have the resources to do it, I think you should, if that’s what you want to do. However, if you don’t, you get to decide what would work for you – it could be a warm bath, or it could be no longer buying potato chips and wine to drown out your sorrows. It can be taking yourself out for a latte. It can be saying “I’m just going to do one hour on this business strategy – I don’t know if it’s going to work or not, but I’m going to try it and it’s okay if it doesn’t work” – that too can be extreme self-love. It could be dancing! Whatever it is for you, simply do it. Don’t overthink it!

No negative voices? Great! Let’s go to your New Year Goals. We are six or so weeks into 2023. Where are you with your goals?

• If you are on track, go love yourself and reward yourself.
• If you are stuck, ask your ‘child within’ what he or she needs. Honor that.
• If you were your best friend, what might you say to yourself?

I’d love for you to let me know what you will do for extreme self-love, extreme self-care and radical self-acceptance here in the month of February. Hit reply and let me know!

What is “managing your time like a zen master”?

If you are hearing yourself saying, “I’ve got so much coming in at me”, “I just want to manage my time so I can get more done in less time, get the things I want to get done”, I just want to move ahead in my goals”, “… move ahead in my business” then this is for YOU!

Often, the secret to “time management” is secretly embedded in that which you  hadn’t thought about, or “some behind the scenes” mindset experiences that are driving your decision and that are stopping you in your tracks (hidden in your subconscious) when it comes down to really managing your time.

With that in mind, here are 3 tips to become more ZEN and less FRANTIC. And yes, using this will absolutely help you manage your time better. Like a zen master, even!

You can read on, or watch the video

1. Question “why am I managing your time?” 

You may think you know why, but this is why to ask again.  This question is the most important. It’s the beginning of my ‘five step process’- where we decide what we want and then we really go deep and discern – and we discern what we truly have for a purpose. What do we want? What do we not want? And why? 

When we can go really super deep we can know what we want, what we don’t want – and EASILY make the decisions, which is really step one.  We have big decisions to make, and then we have all these micro-decisions to make. It’s the micro-decisions that often trip us up. 

For example, maybe you have some subcontractors who are scheduled to do a project, and then somebody gets sick, and now you have to shift things in your business or in your life so that you no longer have the time you thought you had before. 

Ugh! You may think. Foiled again! Right? Well….there’s a moment of pause that needs to happen there. And when there’s that moment of pause,  we can make that decision around managing our time based on our priorities, based on not only what we want for our business with the subcontractors, but also to what we want in our lives. That pause that says,  “I am in charge, selfishly, of my life, which is really self-love, and my business and my time”. 

That’s number one – why you are doing this to start with and have all of your actions really being lining up to that bigger, deeper purpose? And…you can’t do that if you haven’t decided what your bigger, deeper purpose is.

2. Every decision that you make, ideally, must come from the inside-out, not from the outside-in. What does this mean?  Access your inner wisdom (your gut instinct.) For example, perhaps you are  deciding whether to attend an event when there is a high covid level around.  

People have different values regarding this, and let’s just say you’re deciding to attend an event that has potentially a high, high covid level. So you do. Now, what do you do after that event? Do you keep yourself isolated for a time before you go out again? This may or may not be relevant to you, but whatever your inner spirit says, whatever your inner guides say that is right for you, that’s what to do.

So many people that I work with aren’t very familiar or very trusting of their inner guide – but that inner voice is your inner knowing.  That voice, I believe, is the Divine. So when you listen to that inner voice, you literally can’t go wrong. If you are doubting the validity of this, I challenge you to look back and say, “All right, when I listen to my inner voice, what happened?” Listening to your inner voice is the secret sauce to “zen time management.”

3. Believe in magic and miracles. I’ve been called the coach of magic and I’ve been called the coach of miracles, but it’s not just me. There’s a man named Rich Litvin, and he’s a famous worldwide renowned coach and I’m on his email list.  There’s an email that came in today which said that he just went to this magic show and that magic is everywhere. 

It was a wonderful email and it just got me to remember that magic is everywhere and we can literally make our own magic. We can do anything. We are limitless. You may not believe that but I’m here to tell you it’s true. So if you don’t believe it for you, look at me. Look at all the things that I have done. If you’re not sure, go back to other, other videos because I’ve told my story many times.  

Every single day I manifest miracles and I help other people manifest miracles. That’s what I do. So if I can do it, you can do it. It just takes practice. When I first left my crazy ex over 10 years ago, one of the first things I did was I decorated my home with inspirational items and I found this one card  called ‘Now is the right time’. There’s nothing written in this card.  I had all these beautiful little reminders of myself, how powerful I really was, all over my home. This was a way of loving myself and giving myself permission now that I didn’t have chains on me anymore. Now I could really do what I wanted to do and what I was meant to do. And I want that for you as well. 

These three things are part and parcel of managing your time. A calendar is important, and it’s so much more than that.  

What will you do to manage your time better? Of all of the things I just talked about, what resonated most with you and what would you do if you knew you wouldn’t fail? 

I hope to see you on Monday (first Monday of the month at noon time Eastern) for my special sixth edition of Wisdom Warriors (which used to be called Lunchtime Love). We’re going to be talking more about self-love and how that relates to time management and getting to the goals that you don’t think you can attain.

If you’re part of Wisdom Warriors already, you’ll get a reminder of the session, but if not, please come register on my website (unscatterme.com/Wisdom Warrior Group/Register)

It’s completely free, so bring a friend too! 

I will see you then.