Month: January 2023

It’s the end of January. You’ve started new things. You might be running into a lot of bumps in the road that you don’t see with your eyes. Stuff’s coming in and it’s not as easy as you thought it would be to carry out the changes that you so desperately want. 

There is a much easier way to get these things accomplished than you may imagine. Allow me to introduce a concept to you…. radical self-acceptance.

When you implement the 4 tips below for radical self-acceptance – watch how life just gets easier. (How does this work? Ooooh it’s juicy!) This works BELOW THE SURFACE-  which can be what’s “below the surface of you”, not allowing you to reach your goal or your dream, or New Year Intention.

• Slow down when you hear that judgment. It could sound like ‘What makes you think you’re going to be any different this time?’ ‘You’ve tried this before’, ‘You’re no good at ….’ – so slow down and remember to notice those things because those are simply voices in your head. You are allowed to detach yourself from them.
• Know that something that you call a setback is really just information. Here’s the scenario: we start going towards a new goal to do a new thing that we’ve never done, we end up with a few bumps in the road, we navigate them, but then we get to this place where it really feels like a setback. For example, you were trying to start a new course and trying to fill a room with people but the people all backed out, and you’re like, ‘well, crap! What happens now?’ And you can call that a setback, but can also call it information. And I know that can be a tough concept. Remember, the more you do it, the better it is because then you can then say, ‘okay, hang on. That’s information. What do I do with that information?’ Now YOU are in charge.

Keep reading or watch the video instead

• Stop comparing yourself to other people. Are you hearing yourself say, “ I should be further along?”  ‘You know, I started this time management system and by now I should have done x, y, z and I should be this, and I should be that’. And that’s a comparison. In some cases, it’s comparing yourself not to a PERSON but to your own unrealistic (and often fuzzy and ill defined) standard. In this situation, I recommend you slow down and ask yourself:  ‘hang on, what is going well? What do I have to offer here?’ – and then do that. 
• Lean into the things that you know work. Remembering this is tough – remembering that you are truly in control of your thoughts. While  you are not directly in control of your thoughts that happen in the primitive brain, you are in control of your thoughts that happen in the cerebral cortex, and  in the prefrontal cortex. You can proactively decide, from the “thinking” part of your brain (the cortexes) to now access the primitive part (where all those naysayer voices live.) You can access  the primitive brain with modalities such as  hypnosis, tapping, brain spotting, EDMR, and Havening. Accessing your subconscious, where all these voices actually live, is the key to the kingdom.

And last but not least, I have a bonus tip for you.

Mel Robbins has a great book with a simple and powerful system called the High Five Habit. Every morning you wake up and you high five yourself in the mirror and you feel better about yourself. Nobody’s out there looking at you, nobody’s judging you. Try it!

In conclusion, I would love you to let me know – which of these tips resonated with you the most? What is the one baby step you’re going to take to get back on your road, to do whatever it is you said that you wanted to do this month? I can’t wait to hear it!

Over and out…until next Sunday. And don’t forget, Wisdom Warriors (the free monthly zoom I do where you have a rare chance to be coached by me for completely free!) is Mon FEB 6 from 12 noon to 1pm EST. Sign up HERE if you are not part of the group! 

What lights your fire?

Let me ask you these questions (in full transparency, this came from Michael Bungee Stainer, who I follow regularly): 

• What fills your cup? 
• What lights your fire? 
• What gets your disco ball rolling? 

You’re a disco glitter ball spinning. Let’s start with what do we love to do – like what do we love? Once we determine what we love, what really gets our disco ball spinning, then it’s time to determine how that relates to our 2023 intention. Remember the beginning of this month? I know by now lots of people have already given up their resolutions or are already telling themselves it’s not possible.

I’m here to tell you…”it” absolutely IS POSSIBLE!

 And the secret to getting there is to:

1, Realize that “it” has to be a disco ball. It has to be thrilling. It has to be daunting and a little bit overwhelming. It also has to be important. Being thrilling, I find, is probably the most important thing because you know what? It might not be EASY. You probably guessed that. You may have tried to do something before and said, “well, geez, I can’t get TOO committed to it (that future condition) because if I fail and I’m committed to it, oh my God, now I’m a failure, right?” 

Is that you…saying that inside your head? If so, know that it’s okay. Be gentle with yourself. And, if you allow yourself that “trap door to bail out” those gremlins (the ones who tell you “don’t commit! you might fail!” come in the trap door and they start pulling you in and start saying “See, I told you, you aren’t going to make it. It’s a good thing you left the trap door open, because now you’re safe” But are you safe? Not if you truly wish to make the change you say you want to do…

Getting ourselves to decide to do something different, allowing ourselves to actually do the thing that lights up our glitter disco ball (they do call me Disco Carol, by the way!) is a really big deal because the rest of us are droning around, walking aroun….day in and day out, complaining, doing the same old thing with the same old people, getting the same old results, thinking that there’s no way it could possibly get any better. Because if you stick your neck out, it might fall off, get chopped off, get burned, whatever it is, because we get outside of our comfort zone, right? 

I’m here to dispel the myth that nothing different can happen. In fact, I know that nothing different will happen without you making the decision to do something different. And the only way you’re going to make a decision to do something different is to make sure the thing you want is thrilling, important AND daunting.  I find that of those, the most important part is what lights you up; what makes your soul just absolutely turn on fire. 

Another name I’ve been called is “Cindra -the Goddess of Fire”. Of course, I’m also the Green Goddess of Productivity, love, light, miracles and all that jazz too. But, really…I am fiery. So I want you to borrow my fire. If you’re not feeling real fiery right now, it’s okay. Maybe tomorrow. But when you are ready to light your own fire, please contact me- because the world needs you. The world needs people that light up disco balls and get on fire and do things that nobody has the guts to do. And I am with you on that. 

Let me know one thing that lights you up that you’re a little scared to say out loud (but you’re going to whisper it). 

Happy 2023.

I have a bold question for you today: 

What if the question is not “why am I so infrequently the person I want to be” but rather “why am I so infrequently wanting to be the person I really am?” 

Wow. Now there’s a question. 

Victoria Lebalme, Risk Forward. That’s where that question came from. I’m on her email list. Email lists are a good thing when you belong to cool email lists. (Note, I’ll be starting a Daily Email Option sometime in the next month or so…stay tuned.)

The question about wanting to be the person I really am reminds me of something that came up on Monday in my Kick Off 2023 Right workshop. (yes you can buy the workshop for ¼ of the price – recorded with the workbook too when you follow that link!) When we look ahead, we want to look at goals and things that we don’t have now.

So of course, we considered that, and more importantly, we looked at where and what we want to be as our future self.  During that time, I expressed that that future self is actually just us…unpeeled. 

This quote from Victoria actually says the same thing, and she talks about desire, too. Like “Why do I not want to be me?” There’s lots of reasons for that, and I’d love for you to let me know what’s getting in your way.  What I’ve experienced from the people that I work with is sometimes 

-we don’t even know who we are 

-or what we are, 

-or what we want.

In fact, we don’t even think to “know to want” because we’re so busy out there doing what we need to do, trying to keep everybody else happy, trying to keep up with our commitments, trying not to rock the boat, trying not to muddy the waters, ruin the process, ruffle any feathers, buck the system, etc. WE make sure that everybody else is good, right?

We can be  a martyr, of sorts: falling on the sword. We can be that people pleaser, be that giver and then get resentful. Because the truth is, that’s exhausting. 

I’m here to turn that around with you. And the way to turn that around, the first step, is to go ahead and watch the workshop from Monday 1/9.  It’s the next step, when you’re ready to have real results like this is a great start. When you go through the process with the group, and work through the workbook, you will be set up to receive the same results as they do, as long as you move through it the same way. 

After this step, you’ll want to take action. Is that you? This is your sign. I have one spot left in my Discover Your Greatness through the Productivity Success Cake Process group coaching, doors close tomorrow (Monday) at Midnight Eastern.

It’s one thing to have intentions, and it’s really important to have that deep why. And it’s really important to have that deep understanding. And as important is to take action, because being in action stops that inertia and that inertia is what’s holding us back. 

In fact, I was talking to a person in my community just the other day, and that person was saying “It’s not that I don’t know about this stuff. It’s that when I sit down to do my work, I have a great deal of flexibility. And I have to decide, do I do this task? Do I do that task? Do I do another task? I have piles. I have emails, I have voice messages, I have people coming in, I’m an executive. (You know, it’s not like this person isn’t successful, it’s just there’s so much coming in at this person, and that’s common.) 

If you are heading this and thinking “how is she in my head,” then it’s time, my friend. If not now, when?

One seat left. Just one. I accept a maximum of 8 people, no exceptions.

It’s time to join the group coaching that I am starting on Thursday  January 19.  Doors close for registration at midnight Eastern on Monday so you don’t have a lot of time.

You will work through those kinds of processes that I just described, such as:

“What do I say no to at this very moment so that I can say yes to this priority?”

“How do I prioritize in general?”

“How do I get out of analysis paralysis?”

 I was talking to someone last week, and she wasn’t sure. She was starting to get tangled up in he future.

What if she receives a new job during this group course? What if there is a time conflict?

Answer: we will address this if such a “problem” arises (if it’s the job she wants…it’ll be a GREAT problem to have!)

Analysis paralysis will never get anywhere. What we need to do is:

– dive into our Future You and 

-trust the universe, 

unpeel the stuff that isn’t working for you. 

-Be bold, 

– hold the hands of the other people that are walking this walk with you,

– say ‘no’ to those tasks and those things that are not supporting that vision of that Future You.  

CAUTION

It may sound easy, and the truth is it’s not easy. One woman was in my Discover Your Greatness through the Productivity Success Cake group coaching a couple of years ago had been trying to move for five years out of her current home. 

She had piles of paper, she had ‘stuff’ and she had stopped exercising. She had gained a bunch of weight. She used to be really active and outdoorsy. She wasn’t being “her” anymore. Through the PRODUCTIVITY SUCCESS CAKE  process, she not only started to walk again and started to feel good about herself, but she was able to move!. TODAY SHE LIVES IN A BEAUTIFUL TOWNHOME ON THE OCEAN! 

She was able to declutter -she hadn’t been able to do that in five years. If you can resonate with that (being bogged down by clutter) please consider what might happen by April 30th when you say YES to the group opportunity that expires tomorrow.

Or, perhaps you resonate with strongly desiring to make more money. Another participant (from last year), made more money last year than she had in the last 38 years and it exceeded the income of her long term spouse. THIS HAD LITERALLY *NEVER* HAPPENED in their 38 years of marriage. If you want those results, then you want to consider joining me on the 19th. I have one seat open for the right person.

In closing, please start loving exercise, start giving yourself permission, move house, make more money than your spouse, say ‘no’ to things that don’t serve. You have so much fun. Dance and enjoy, because why wouldn’t you? 

It’s 2023, it’s a new start and there’s a lot of crap going on in the world, and there’s a recession. 

So let’s hold hands. Let’s walk through this together because the people that succeed in that recession see the long view and are consistent. 

I am so excited to be your guide!