Month: February 2022

Do you have a trait or traits that aren’t serving you? How can this be remedied? We all have them, there’s no doubt but what can you do to remedy this? Is it a simple fix or is a new habit needed to wipe out the existing trait?

A trait is a characteristic that influences how we think, feel and act. It’s part of who we are. It gives us personality but what should you do when this trait is stopping you from reaching your goals, getting you stuck in other people’s expectations and how do they develop?

Traits can change over time and are influenced by experiences, belief systems and largely depend on what stage of life we are in. How we act are modelled by these 3 things and are often tricky to untangle. The key thing to remember is that when you let go of what you no longer need, you free up space to attract more of what you want.

So how can be easily remedy these traits that are no longer serving us?

• Identify what the trait is that’s not serving you. Are they traits that you get you into trouble? Do they interfere with your productivity? Knowing what we want to change is the first step to eliminating a trait. Once identified, it’s important to assess and evaluate the impact it has. For example, do you find a lot of negativities in your life? Does this leave you feeling upset or depressed? Or perhaps your perfectionism is stopping you from moving forwards with a goal or plan. The best way to identify a trait that no longer serves it by looking at a range of problems or issues that we have faced in our life and looking how it started. Often, we’ll find that there is always one (the same) trait at the center of it.
• Verify the trait with a friend, family, or colleague – our hardest critiques are always ourselves so it’s important to make sure that what you believe is true. If you tend to notice a lot of negativities, you might try asking someone close to you to see how they view you. It’s important to remember that some traits might be serving you, even if you think they aren’t.
• Identify if there is someone feeding this trait – for me, this is one of the most important things to do. Let’s continue with the example of negativity. Have you ever met someone for a coffee and come home feeling deflated because all you’ve done, while sipping your matcha latte, is talk about all the things are going wrong in your lives as opposed to everything you are achieving? Creating distance between you and toxic people will be vital to your success of remedying a trait that no longer serves you.
• Set yourself a goal on how you want to be – think about what you want your new trait to look like? Think about how you will feel when this trait, that no longer serves you, doesn’t have a use in your life?
• Use affirmations or reminders. Write it on a post It note and stick it to your wall, remind yourself each day that this particular trait holds no value and will not contribute to the success of your day.

Remedying a trait, although simple in isolated circumstances may be more difficult in everyday life so it’s important to keep pushing yourself every day to be a better version of yourself. Whatever the reason you are looking to remedy a trait, always remember that Rome wasn’t built in a day and these things take time.

And to finish, I leave you with this quote from Teal Swan as a reminder that you are YOU, you are UNIQUE, and you deserve to be the person you want to be.

“All too often our personality is nothing more than psychological clothing that we wear to hide our true self from the world.”

As humans, we have grown to be very harsh on ourselves caused by high expectations as to what we are meant to be achieving or thriving towards. It’s easy to get “lost” in the crowds, to be a diamond covered in dirt but what if this wasn’t as bad for us as we think? Are the days of “fitting in” over? Well, let’s look at a few strengths of being neurodiverse.

• When identifying as neurodivergent, you think differently to the rest of those around you. Let’s face it, it hasn’t always been easy – to get to where you are today, you’ve had to overcome many obstacles and difficulties and you’ve had to create or find workarounds to situations that don’t come naturally to you. This problem-solving ability is highly sought after in many aspects of everyday life and the race is on to find those with these abilities. So what you consider a FAULT is GOLD to others. 
• You have the power to encourage CHANGE in the environment around you. For so long, we’ve been taught that there is a “way” to do everything. Society expects us to act or behave in a certain way because that’s the norm and it’s what’s expected of us. Being neurodiverse challenges people to rethink how things are done, to take a different perspective and consider that there might be a better way! Last month we spoke about getting caught up in other people’s chains of expectation and how to break free to reach your full potential.
• Some of the greatest innovations have been discovered, designed, or invented by a neurodiverse person. These people push the boundaries of “making the impossible happen” because the impossible presents itself EVERYDAY. Take Alan Turin as an example of greatness in neurodiversity. Albert Einstein, Henry Ford, Richard Branson, Bill Gates, the list goes on. Times have changed and NOW is the time for neurodiversity to shine bright and show that greatness can be achieved but it requires THINKING DIFFERENTLY, outside of the box, we need to reinvent the wheel…
• Neurodiversity often equals creativity. We know creativity works, we know innovation works and we know that neurodiversity works. With at least 1 in 8 of us being neurodiverse, the diamonds covered in dirt are all around us. You have unique skillsets that are unlikely to be matched in the workplace, in your friendship group and in society itself so use it to its full potential, SHOUT about it from the rooftops, don’t be ashamed.
• You are a teacher in disguise. What if people were watching you because they thought they could learn from you? Companies with heterogenous teams who have neurodiverse team members often outperform those and this is thanks to the range of skillsets and determination that a neurodiverse person brings to any working environment.

The list of reasons why being neurodiverse can benefit you are endless. YOU are changing the world around you one step at a time with what you consider “faults”. There’s a true saying that you always want what you haven’t got but what if you started loving who you are and the gifts that you have?

I’ll leave you with this wonderful quote to keep in mind on the tough days from Carl Jung “The shoe that fits one person, pinches another; there is no recipe for living that suits all cases”