Month: May 2021

You’ve made a plan in your head, you’re clear on how you are going to move forwards, your milestones and your goals. Who better to share these ideas and plans with than your partner or spouse? The person who is closest to you, right? Only to discover that they are not supportive of the new and improved you. Ouch! A real sting for the system, that sinking feeling deep in the pit of your stomach. So, what now?

Figure out what is really going on.

Your first and most instinctive reaction will be to get really mad. Of course, it is, you’ve spent weeks, months, years mulling this over again and again in your head only to find out that you are not supported by those closest to you. But before throwing all your toys out the pram, take a moment to evaluate what it is happening and do a little digging into WHY the lack of support. Commons answers to this question may look like this.

• I don’t feel it’s the right time – they may well be right, so when is the right time? What are you waiting for? Is it really the timings or just that they don’t want to make the right time?
• I like our life how it is – big changes often mean turning your world a little upside down and this narrative doesn’t suit everyone, especially those who like to get comfortable. A great exercise is to ask yourself if you would regret the decision in 10 years’ time to carry on as you are now? This will give you a good indication as to whether you want to carry on with this lifestyle or you are READY to make the leap.
• I’m not sure it’s right for you – I would take some time to look at this question and do a quick sense check to find out whether it is RIGHT FOR YOU. Ask a very close friend or family member, someone who knows you well, and compare what they say with your partner or spouse.

It may seem like your partner or spouse is trying to dampen your dreams, but this may not be the case. For the most part, the goal of any partner is to protect you and care for you, and they may have insights into your personality and wellbeing that you don’t.

Take time to discuss together what it is you both want. This will give you a clear picture of what you both want to achieve in life, both in your life together and individually. If these goals are aligned, talk with your partner about how he/she sees potential in your plan/idea, how it could be improved and how he/she could support in these moments of change.

If you find yourself wanting very different things, it may be time to go separate ways and conquer life on your own.

If your goals are aligned, the actions that you partner/spouse takes after will be paramount to showing you whether they are supporter of you or not.

Toxic behaviours include jealousy, lack of support and controlling behaviours. Sometimes partner/spouses might not be open to the idea of your being more successful than them, provoking sensations of jealousy and therefore a lack of support. If you find yourself in this this situation, this person is not your supporter, they will not accompany on your journey and they will not raise you up when you are down. It may be time to break free.

Steve Jobs said it best – “If you haven’t found it yet, keep looking. As with all matters of the heart, you’ll know when you find it.”

Being an entrepreneur wasn’t designed to be an easy ride, it takes determination and along the way you may alienate some people, but you will also pick up a that stay with you forever. People born to be your supporters and will help you navigate through turbulent waters. Strive to find those people.

Read any book you like about success stories and you’ll find that each one of those people had someone behind them, supporting them, pushing them along and picking them up when times get hard. I would challenge anyone claiming solo success, to take a real good look around them, upon review, they’ll likely find this isn’t true!

A supporter of you and your ideas can come in any form. It may be someone with likeminded ideas and dreams, that you can bounce ideas off and celebrate wins together. It may be a close friend, a family member, a mentor, it could just be someone you aspire to or inspires you, someone who keeps you going motivated and keeps pushing you along to strive to higher ground, to be a better version of yourself and most importantly to believe in you, even when you’ve lost faith.

Making a change in your life can be truly terrifying. Growing as a person and achieving those goals you’ve only dreamed of until now can be like jumping off a cliff, right? It’s scary as hell, but often, you’ll jump to greater ground and to do that, you need to surround yourself if the right people.

Who must you surround yourself with?

There are a few important characteristics that you should for in a supporter.

People who truly understand what you are trying to achieve and most importantly WHY you are trying to achieve it. Not everyone will want to come on your journey but the few that do, will be your supporters, your warriors, your shoulder to cry on.

People with a positive mindset. The negative nelly needs to stay at home. This type of person will only hinder your performance and progress. That’s not to say that they shouldn’t be a realist – of course they should, but constantly picking up on the things that didn’t go so well will only lead to feelings of failure.

People who you feel you can be honest with and them with you. Do you have someone who you could look in the eye and say, “my friend, that is a terrible idea” and not be offended? These are the kind of people you should be surrounding yourself with. Honest, truthful people who, with your best intentions at heart, will be open about what they think.

Likeminded people who have goals and dreams on their own. Supporters who are on the same wavelength as you, will be able to fully understand where you are in your journey and how you are feeling. Empathy is a powerful tool when it comes to success and will be key to unlocking your true potential.

Someone who you can count on. Someone who will be there to listen to you, regardless of what they have going on. Selfless human beings are hard to come across but if you find them, hold onto them tight.

My challenge to you today is to take 5 minutes to look around you and ask yourself who your supporters are, drop them a message, show gratitude for their ongoing support. Perhaps you are a supporter yourself to a friend or family member? What qualities do you feel you have as a supporter? How could you be better?

I’ll leave you with this powerful quote from Oprah Winfrey “Surround yourself only by people who are going to lift you higher”.

Do you ever find yourself comparing your life to those around you? Perhaps on social media, in pictures of friends and family, living what you can only call paradise, while you’re sat at home on a rainy Sunday scrolling through your phone. It’s easy to get carried away right? Not everybody has the same resources, circumstances, or financial situation, so how do you continue to move forwards with your life and do it within your means? The formula is fairly simple. Add a little passion, a touch of courage and hey presto, you have yourself a cocktail for success. 

Discover a template: Take a wish and make it a reality. 

In our last article, we spoke about how to turn your dreams into more than just a fantasy and today we continue to push you on, encouraging you to take a wish and create it into a reality. It’s imperative to start by reminding you that what works for someone else may not work for you. There’s no one size fits all when it comes to life. Trial and error are your best friends when discovering your template of success. Start by challenging yourself with the “3 identifies” 

– Identify your wish or dream – what is it that you want to achieve? 

– Identify your resources – What do you already have that will help you on your way? It’s important to think long and hard about the existing resources because this will enable you to continue to move forwards and do it within your means. 

– Identify what it is you need to make that wish a reality – what is it that you need but don’t already have? How long is it going to take to get there? How much money will you need? 

The most efficient way to achieve a wish or dream is to set a timeline against what you want to do. Break it down into manageable, bitesize pieces that won’t put too much pressure on you financially, physically, or mentally. 

What you have already in your life are your resources and your base but by no means are these your limits. Just look at Oprah Winfrey as an example of this. After a troubled childhood, she worked in radio while still at school. Each step of her journey took her a 

little closer to her goal, her wish, her dream. Steve Jobs, Ralph Lauren, Richard Branson…the list goes on. Very successful people who lived within their means, mapped their journey, and worked hard until it was complete. 

Learn the critical hurdles to surpass 

That’s not to say that these people didn’t encounter hurdles – of course they did and if you read their stories, there are many of them. It’s not always going to be an easy ride. There will be obstacles along the way, As the wise Albert Einstein very famously said “In the middle of every difficulty lies opportunity”. When these come up, take your time to look at where you have come from and make note of what you can learn from the experience. You may be met with feelings of self-doubt and question whether the path you are on is the correct one. You may even be met with resistance from the people around you. Remind yourself of what it is you want and what it will mean to you when you achieve your dream. Remember the purpose. 

Uncover the secrets of true trailblazers

Every journey to success looks different and only once you have completed the journey in full will you be able to reflect on it. But remember the greater the obstacle, the greater the glory in overcoming it. Become a trailblazer, innovator, creator, warrior, storyteller and patron of your journey. We talked above about how there is no one size fits all, how what works for someone else may not work for you. So, remember this, there’s no moment like the present. Never allow waiting to become a habit. Live your dreams and take risks. Life is happening now. 

And to finish, we’ll leave you with this from Oprah, from her speech at the Golden Globes:

“The single greatest wisdom I think I’ve ever received is that the key to fulfilment, success, happiness, contentment in life is when you align your personality with what your soul actually came to do. I believe everyone has a soul and their own personal spiritual energy. When you use your personality to serve whatever that thing is, you can’t help but be successful.”