Month: February 2021

In part one of this blog, we looked at WHY we want MORE time in our worlds, the research, the desires, the revenge procrastination… So, now let’s have a look at HOW we create more time for ourselves and make the most of the time we do have.

HOW

It’s IMPOSSIBLE to create ‘additional’ time for yourself. There, I said it. Sorry to disappoint. Time machines haven’t yet been invented (unfortunately). What you CAN do is use your time differently to create SPACE by sacrifice. Sound scary? I promise, it isn’t.

In my last post I asked you to think about what you would really want if time was of no concern, if time itself didn’t exist. Did you do it? If you didn’t, go do it now!

Notice that there are some things you would LOVE to continue doing or even start doing if time were meaningless. Jot those down – they’re important.

Now, think about what’s currently preventing you from doing those things. What is occupying your time so much that you can’t do these things?

By this point you should have a list of the stuff you do with your time and the stuff you want to do with your time. Now go through that list of stuff you do and see what you could sacrifice and replace with one of the things you want to do. Those hours spent in front of the TV blankly, that extra hour in bed you don’t need, those strolls around the supermarket could they be reduced? What about all those things you say YES to for someone else’s benefit? What about the time scrolling aimlessly on social media? Where is YOUR time leaking? 

Every YES requires a NO

Quite simply put, every time you say YES to something, you’re also saying NO to something else. When you think about it like that, a whole new concept of time opens up. It’s a game changer. Remember that when you say yes to one thing, it’s preventing you from doing another. This is a really easy way for you to begin to identify where your time goes and to make better choices.

HOW to discern HOW to spend your time

Most people choose to spend their lives doing the ‘non-negotiables’ that most likely include basic self care, family care, and work. They then wonder why they ‘never get to’ the stuff that lights them up – the ‘someday I will.’ Those things then become unattainable (or nearly so). Then we come up with wonderful stories (not so wonderful) as to ‘why we can’t.’

We even go as far as to poke fun at those who suggest we might change our perspective. It sounds like “you don’t live in the real world, I need to … blah blah blah.”

Is this you? If so….how’s that working for you?

People who realize life is all choices recommend that you ask yourself regularly, is this taking me towards my goal? If the answer is no, they make a new choice.

When we have choices we feel empowered. We are happier. The sunshine spreads.

For example, I get to write this blog right now because I chose to ask my son to make dinner. I expressed loads of gratitude. I have him two “pre-thank you hugs.” And he will get another hug after the meal. This is a win/win. Sure, I may eat a bit later in the evening (he is on his own schedule!) and he gets to be helpful, I get to be grateful, and we get to eat yummy food. Best of all I can do the work I need to do. THAT’S what I call ‘life balance.’

Yes, it takes some decision making and yes it can be tough to start with (we are habit creatures), and, the benefits of choosing how you spend your time are HUGE. Less stress, more motivation, that satisfaction you feel after a productive day – don’t you want to feel like that as much as possible? And it takes you closer and closer to achieving your goals.

How to determine the strategy that works best for YOU

So, take some time (ha, did it again) to figure out what’s important to you and prioritize those things. And don’t forget the concept of optimism bias – ALWAYS schedule more time than you think you’ll need to complete something. That way, best case scenario, you have a little extra time to do something more.

Here are some bullets to consider and articles to help with each item:

• What brings you joy and happiness and fulfilment?

Form great habits and focus on things one at a time.

• Learn how to say NO to things that don’t serve you well.

Create a routine that works for you.

• Double down by attaching one activity to another, like listening to a podcast while you’re out for a walk.

Do the things that have the biggest impact, therefore increasing your productivity.

• Do something while you’re waiting for something else, make the most of the opportunity.

Schedule like a pro and make sure you don’t underestimate how long things will take.

Put yourself first. No, really. Do it. No joke. In everything.

And last but not least…why having time constraints is a GOOD thing.

Imagine, if you had all the time in the world to get things done, would you really do them? Without deadlines and the understanding that the time we have is finite, we’d drift along, unencumbered, and we would eventually see pretty much everything as pointless.

Time is precious, so to use it to our advantage in order to fulfil our dreams and create a beautiful existence for us and those around us is the most significant thing you can do with it.

And as a bonus, watch this great Ted Talk by Tim Urban

Time. Sometimes we wish we had more of it, sometimes we will it to go quicker, sometimes we feel like it’s running out, sometimes we’re waiting for the right time, and we ALL want to make the most of it!

Is that really possible? To make the most of every nanosecond?

First let’s take some time (see what I did there?!) to explore WHY we have this insatiable craving for MORE time.

WHY?

At one time ‘work/life balance’ was a hot topic. Today, after nearly a year in COVID, most of us are doing some kind of ‘home hybrid’ so let’s think about work and life in terms of integration instead, as they do clearly go hand in hand.

Most of us have it backwards. We ‘do all the stuff’ then ‘try to find time’ for our IKIGAI (thing that lights us up deeply.)  Let’s recognize that we all need some ‘play time’ in our days, something unstructured and/or fun, time to unwind and kick off the stresses of the day, but since (mostly) we don’t schedule this into our routines as a necessity, we end up crashing instead and ‘wasting’ that valuable R&R time.

Does this sound familiar?

It has been a long day. So you sit blankly in front of the TV, telling yourself you should be doing something productive, but you just can’t find the energy. (Hint, telling yourself this stuff erases any energy you may have found.) If it’s not TV, you are most likely scrolling aimlessly on social media – or my favorite – both at the same time. Your brain and body in moments like these is rebelling and telling you “I need rest.”

You’re escaping into a haze of nothingness and, boy, does it feel good. YES! You need rest. Your primitive brain is taking over; it’s what you need. And as mentioned earlier- then the voice often comes. That niggling voice shaming you and making you feel guilty. NOT HELPFUL. Living like this creates cognitive dissonance. No wonder people drink.

Revenge Bedtime Procrastination- are you experiencing this?

Have you heard of ‘revenge bedtime procrastination’? It’s described as, “a phenomenon in which people who don’t have much control over their daytime life refuse to sleep early in order to regain some sense of freedom during late night hours.”

Those who feel that work takes up most of their time, or that they lack the feeling of control over their time prey victim to this more often than those who schedule in their time to chill. We all want some time to ourselves to do nothing. It can be so bad for some people that it has a compound effect in their day-to-day lives because they’ve stayed up too late (and possibly had too much to drink) and their ability to fire on all cylinders the following day abandons them.

The Planning Fallacy

Research also suggests that we have a tendency to underestimate the time it will take us to get things done due to ‘optimism bias’.

“The optimism bias is defined as the difference between a person’s expectation and the outcome that follows. If expectations are better than reality, the bias is optimistic; if reality is better than expected, the bias is pessimistic.”

When attempting to predict how long something will take you, if you exhibit the optimism bias, this is called the ‘Planning Fallacy’.

What’s more, this bias overrides our ability to accurately predict how long things will take us, EVEN IF we’ve done them plenty of times before. So, this is going to have a huge impact on how you schedule your day and you’ll likely find that the time you set aside to rest, or play has been eaten into by needing to complete your to-do list tasks.

I’ll be covering more about HOW you can combat this in my next blog post, but for now, just let that information sink in and ask yourself…

What would you REALLY WANT if time did not exist?

Yes, it’s time to fantasize and visualize what your day would look like if you had all the time in the world.

• How would it feel to have no pressure of deadlines looming?
• How would you go about your business?
• Would you set yourself a routine?
• Would you abandon all routine safe in the knowledge things will get done when they get done?
• What’s your favorite part about this new timeless world?
• What do you love the most?

Leveraging your deep desires

Now, of course, we’re never going to be utterly free of time-constraints and I’ll tell you why that’s a GOOD THING in my next blog. But for now, let’s focus on what you’ve learnt from your visualization.

There will have been a few things that came to mind, things you would 100% continue to do if time was no concern. Hold onto those things; they’re important. I bet they’re things you currently WANT to do but find you don’t have time for.  So, what you’re saying is that these things are of huge importance to you, and that they would become your priority when your time isn’t occupied elsewhere?

Let’s see what we can do about that… in my next blog.