Month: November 2020

If you resist structure because you want to remain ‘more open’ and flexible, you’re not alone. Resistance takes energy. You only have so much energy. So the first thing to do is change your language. It’s not STRUCTURE or a SCHEDULE or DISCIPLINE (YUCK!!!) It’s Routine.  Routine will set you free.

As an entrepreneur, you love flexibility. It’s likely that this is a big reason why you chose this life to start with, yes? To have freedom and flexibility. Want a day off? Take it. No “boss” to ask. Want to go outside for a break then work late? Totally doable. You can go see your kids’ games for a change. You are not “chained” to your desk as if you were working “for the man.”

Many of the people I work with have referred to themselves as “wild horses” or “free spirits.” And this is so beautiful! OR they have said “I just need to discipline myself to stick to a schedule.” From what I have experienced, neither of these thought patterns are helpful to the desired end result: Peace, Productivity, Profits…and FUN….all of these – not either/or.

So then, what’s the problem?

The problem is, too much flexibility offers too much choice. Too much choice can lead to overwhelm or procrastination in decision making. There is actually a NAME for this. It’s “decision fatigue.”  With this fatigue on our brains,   “discipline” becomes so much harder, knowing we have to make decisions to what to do next, what ought to be done versus what needs to be done versus what you want to be doing.  Yikes, this is exhausting just reading it.

Having a daily and weekly and even monthly structure and routine will set you free. It’s an outline, not a death sentence. In fact, you might consider it your Guiding Light.

When your mind is focused on the task in hand, rather than stuck in planning mode, you will naturally allow headspace (not to mention time) for creative thought. You’re not bogged down with the worry of what to do next – you’ve already made that decision.

I hear you. “I don’t like to do the same thing again and again- I will get bored.” Right. This is the Dopamine in your brain telling you to mix it up. We love dopamine, particularly when we have AD/HD. AND what we know is….we do BETTER at life with routine. Like, significantly better. How often have you “just forgotten” to do something? This can be everything from getting a photo to a friend on your phone to doing a household chore for your loved ones (you promised and you meant to) to responding to that client or colleague. You can still get your dopamine….do not worry. On your own terms. YES you can re-train your brain. (Yippee!)

The gap between INTENTION and ACTION = lack of Trust. And people hire people who they Know, Like, and Trust. If you are an entrepreneur with AD/HD, you most likely have the “know and like” down pat. It’s the trust. Yes, this is when opening your mind and allowing the possibility of Routines that are Fun and Flexible and Productive into your possibility-window.

Here’s what Psychology Today says about habits and routines:

“For most people most of the time, habits are created unconsciously, and they are carried out automatically. Habits help us all to do the many hundreds of things we need and want to do in our lives. Because we can carry out a habit without having to think about it, it frees up our thought processes to work on other things. It’s a clever trick that our brains have evolved to make us more efficient.” Read more

So, biologically, we form habits to help ourselves become more efficient. Adding structure to your daily, weekly and monthly living, really will create the freedom you crave.

I’m not sure if you “needed convincing” and if you have, hopefully that’s behind us now. So what do you do? Well….you’ll need to hang tight until next week, when we’ll explore how you can develop a rhythm and still allow for the unexpected.

In my first blog this month we looked at routine and structure and how incorporating the two into your life gives you much more freedom. And this is true, but as with many things, it’s often easier said than done.

Creating new habits and getting them to stick can be hard and requires “discipline.” Now, I am not a big fan of this word, Discipline. However, many like it. For example, my son has a note on his mirror “Discipline or Regret.” Wow. So I think it works for some, and likely more often for MEN. I run a group for men with AD/HD called the BetterMan club and they keep coming up with this word. So please use it, if it suits you.  Now, when you’re in the process of creating freedom via routine, there are some things you need to take into consideration…

Such as: What happens when the unexpected occurs?

We’ve all heard the phrase, ‘expect the unexpected’, and as contradictory as that may sound, the principle is clear – always have a contingency.

When you start the process of structuring your days and weeks, it’s tempting to add far too much to your task list, especially at times when we’re feeling super productive. Remember, we often get less done in a day than we anticipate but we often get more done in one week than we expect.

Always allow space on your task list for those unforeseen circumstances. Something urgent may crop up, you may have a personal emergency, a task may take twice as long as you originally planned for.  Allow space for this. If you don’t take these unexpected things into consideration, you’ll end up having to reassess your entire plan which may set you back so far that you become overwhelmed and anxious, leading to stress and procrastination which just set you back further.

Fortunately, there’s a great way to make sure you get the important (but sometimes less than exciting stuff) out of the way before you get on with everything else.

Eat that frog!

I’ve talked about this before in my blog post 3 ways to create focus part 2

“What’s your frog? I’d define your “frog” as that thing you are not doing. That thing you keep putting on your list but you avoid. Eat it. Get it over and done. Is it a confusing frog? Nail down one clear and do-able frog leg, then. Eat that. Your reward can be doing the little stuff. The reactive “atta-boy or atta-girl” stuff. The emails where people are saying, “wow you are so helpful and responsive!” Believe me, you can still be helpful and responsive. And you will be accountable and kind to YOU by eating the frog. Even if it’s only the frog leg.”

Eating that frog enables you to work on the thing you’ve been putting off. Get it out of the way – no excuses. Train yourself to focus on that one thing first, before anything else, and you’ll see progress in no time. That way, all the truly important stuff will be done by your second cup of coffee.

One more word. Don’t do too much at once. Go really easy on yourself. Start your structure with a morning routine. You will fall in love with this concept and it will change your life. Want to know more on that? Just leave a comment here or email me at carol@eps-time.com.

In closing….remember this. Develop your rhythm and routine, create structure for yourself that allows for the unexpected and eat that darn frog!