Month: February 2020

In our previous blog, we delved into the change of mindset that is needed to enable us to switch from a reactive mindset to a proactive one. In this blog, we’ll be discovering how those with an AD/HD brain can deal with heightened reaction.

Many people with AD/HD are really sensitive and emotional. And, as amazing of a gift as this is, it can get in the way. The AD/HD brain has a different working memory structure. This can allow an emotion to become too strong, flooding the brain with intense emotion. This part of the brain distinguishes between dangerous threats and more minor problems, so an AD/HD brain can find it difficult to deal “rationally and realistically” with events.  This can feel like a real burden at times; you may experience strong emotions to something that others seem to take in their stride.  It might feel like you’re out of control and you should “just be able to control it like everyone else.”

The great news is…learning about and accepting what’s going on can really help.

• It’s your brain, not you: Many people with AD/HD have DESR also. DESR is Deficient Emotional Self-Regulation. This is thought to be caused by a fold of tissue in the middle of the brain called the Cingulate Gyrus. It appears to play a big role in how reactive a person is, and, stimulant medications can help this tissue act more in accordance with a non-AD/HD brain.  By understanding this, rather than thinking you are simply being over-emotional, you start to take back control of the situation.  This can help you avoid unnecessary self-criticism.

• Society loves immediate: We live in an “immediate” society; everything happens at such speed that we kind of accept immediacy as the norm. We all love to appear efficient and “on the ball”, (who doesn’t love the feelings that come from a “thanks for responding so quickly” reply to your email?) and we all love the appreciation that stems from that immediacy.  So much so, that we likely respond quickly again …to not only THIS person but to more…who does not love “getting answers and praise?” Yet, this is a double-edged sword. The dopamine fix we get with this also depletes us by the end of the day and does not allow for our longer term (not immediate) yet important tasks/projects to be completed – resulting in a longer-term sense of failure. Instead of going for the “instant fix” resulting from an immediate reply, it’s far better to adopt a measured approach; allowing time for you to formulate the correct response and also giving yourself a break.  The recipient won’t think any less of you, but the extra time will allow you to pace yourself and banish that sense of disappointment and failure.

• Avoid the embarrassment: It’s embarrassing sometimes, to allow our mouth to precede our brains. However, with:
  • The right medications
  • Practicing the pause (breathe)
  • Accepting “progress not perfection” as a mantra

we can reduce reactions, get more (of the important things) done in less time, and feel much better about ourselves.

Although experiencing these traits can seem like a burden at times, by recognizing them and learning techniques to help you control them and maybe even turn them to your advantage!

How skilled are you in “Mastering the Moment”?  You know, those life situations where you feel overwhelmed, albeit temporarily, by anger, despair, nervousness or confusion? 

In these situations, how we choose to deal with these negative emotions can make the difference between proactive versus reactive behavior, success and failure.

The problem with “reaction” is that it happens after the event.  It’s how we act when faced with an already-occurring situation and is governed by the event itself.  We let the event control our behavior while we scramble just to stay afloat.  Proactivity, on the other hand, allows us to face situations with some degree of confidence, with an “I’ve got this” kind of attitude.  You’ve anticipated any struggles along the way and instead of running away from them, you’re able to accept them as part of the ride.

Being proactive isn’t a gift given to some and not others; there are ways that you can develop this quality and roll with the ebb and flow of the tide, instead of constantly crashing against the shore. 

Here are three ways to help you

1. Foundations are key

In the same way that a tree with strong roots will weather a storm, if you have your “roots” set in a healthy foundation, you’ll find it easier to be positive when faced with a trying situation.  Following a healthy routine including exercise, healthy eating and lastly, meditation will result in a calmer, more positive you.  Instead of seeing your limitations, you’ll give yourself some all-important space; space that will allow you to focus on solutions, rather than being hit full-face with each problem as it arises

One of the biggest aids you can gift yourself is taking time to be self-aware. When you feel the “rush” of reaction, pause.  Instead of jumping straight in and letting that reaction control you, just pause and breathe. 

One inhale and one exhale.

It’s all about giving yourself that space, again, to formulate your response.  

Next time, you’ll find it much easier to understand not only the potential issues that might occur with any negative situation, but also understand and appreciate how this situation triggers you.

3. Practice

Understand how easy it is to take back control of any situation by practising the “power of the pause”. 

Instead of letting the chain of events control you and set the agenda, by pausing, perhaps with a “leave that with me, I’ll come back to you tomorrow” response.  Again, that pause is the most powerful weapon in your arsenal! By visualizing a variety of circumstances and practicing your response, you’ll never be caught on the back foot again. 

If you’ve spent a lifetime in a reactionary frame of mind, changing that to a proactive mindset is not going to be an overnight thing.  It’s going to take some time and effort to alter the habits of a lifetime.  But rest assured that switching from reactive to proactive can be done.  It’s about recognizing the power within yourself and harnessing it. 

In my next blog, we will take a peek at how YOU as a person blessed with an AD/HD brain can identify specific strategies for Reactions.